


The Infinity of the Stars

by Legendary-Destiel (Legendary_Royalty)



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Adventure Time - Freeform, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Anal Sex, Archangel Cas, Blood, Canon-Typical Violence, Cas avoids Deans gaze, Comatose Dreams, Deal with the empty, Dean doesn't like that, Explicit Sexual Content, God is good, Grace - Freeform, Hurt Dean, Love Confessions, M/M, Mutual Pining, Oral Sex, Other Worlds, Profound Bond, Season 14 Spoilers, Slow Burn, Stargazing, Still, The Bad Place, Wings, Worried Dean, brainwashing god, elementary temples, extracting grace is interesting, feathers - Freeform, finding a weapon to kill the empty, how to save heaven?, if this is even a term, inevitable kiss, poetic smut, post-possession nightmares, rainwatershower, six wing cas, true form cas
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-29
Updated: 2019-09-25
Packaged: 2020-02-09 22:57:35
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 44,372
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18647821
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Legendary_Royalty/pseuds/Legendary-Destiel
Summary: Castiel wakes up in a familiar place and meets someone he has not seen in years.Some explanations are made, and Castiel is confronted with an overwhelming truth.The Winchesters and their allies head out to an epic adventure. Can they save the universe by finding a way to kill the most powerful cosmic entity? On his way to saving the world, Castiel has to face his fears and restrain his real desires - which gets harder and harder, because a particular soul reaches out to his grace, like a flame rearing up to burn dry grass.





	1. Pluto

**Author's Note:**

> So, it happened, I had some flashing ideas for a fiction and just started to write... it could get a little bit messy, as i don't know how much chapters it'll get, or even what will happen exactly to our beloved protagonists. :P  
> If you have watched season 14 yet; I changed a few things from canon; you'll hit on it. ;)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel wakes up in a familiar place and meets someone he has not seen in years.  
> Some explanations are made, and Castiel is confronted with an overwhelming truth.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter 1 is called "Pluto", inspired by my eternal "Destiel-soundtrack" Atlas (by Sleeping at last).

 

Chapter 1 **\- PLUTO**

* * *

***

_He was falling, falling,_   
_Falling_   
_Through space and time_   
_Galaxies and universes_   
_Suns and stars_   
_They passed him by_   
_His eyes could see his life_   
_Like a rush of stardust_   
_From the instant of his own creation_   
_To present days_   
_Made of grace, quite purified_   
_And light_   
_Oh, it was so bright_   
_It was unlike everything he’s seen_   
_Ever since_   
_Remembering the warmth,_   
_Undefined_   
_But he never felt safer_   
_Than in this very precious moment._

***

Castiel opened his eyes. Slowly. He was lying on a white, glowing floor, the surface seemed oddly familiar.  
He began to move a little, although it was quite an unusual feeling - being in his true form again. After so many years lingering in a human vessel he had almost forgotten what it’s like to be unleashed. Not being enclosed by physical, fleshly walls. Although, it felt a little different than he remembered. The sentiment of all the unfolded grace around him was so intense, so completely seamless, he could feel every molecule of his form constantly vibrating.  
He rose a little higher, bluish lights dancing in his visual field. His entire body felt heavy, somehow… stronger.

Captured in his thoughts about what was actually happening, he suddenly felt a presence - something he haven’t felt for an unimaginable long time. All his senses vibrated in awareness of who finally appeared in front of him. No, not only in front of him. All around him. Inside him. Filling him with even more light and grace and an intensity that was almost unbearable. Yet calming.

“Father.” Hearing his own, true voice chanting this single word made him almost implode. It felt so pure.

Grace swirled around, reflecting colors, lightings of light manifested to a solid figure, a human shape… slowly crystallizing particles were forced to stick together. An instant later, Chuck stood before him.

“Hello, my son.”

Castiel raised, spreading his wings wide. It felt so good, he almost forgot to concentrate on the fact, that he was facing God himself.  
But something… was different… his wings! It didn’t hurt anymore as he spread them, and they felt, _oh Lord_ , they felt _whole_. Repaired. Still not completely used to be in his true form again, he opened the rest of his eyes at once.

And there they were. Three pairs of breathtakingly beautiful wings, all feathered-up and strong, from shoulder blades to pinion. They were black, like his former wings, but now traces of gold and blue shimmered through the single feathers, giving them such a magnificent look, he could not take his eyes off. He has never seen a six-winged angel with feathers in this color and shape. They were unique. He just knew it.

Finally he managed to turn his curious and a little nervous mind to the figure in front of him. Chuck. Did he really heard his prayers?

“Father, what is this all about… where am I?”

“Don’t you recognize this place, Castiel? We’re in Heaven. This is the place where I used to ‘rule’.” He formed the quotation marks with his fingers as he said the word “rule”.  
Cas looked around, focusing on his surrounding. Yes, there was the white throne, white couches, the white desk… and the big windows, from the glowing floor up to the dark ceiling dappled with a million sparkling dots, representing the universe. Suddenly, the lights flickered strangely and a rumbling sound echoed through the room. Glooming memories occurred him… something about this place was not right… it felt so… empty.

Ah yes. Heaven is about to fall apart, because there are almost no angels left. Castiel remembered.

Castiel spoke to Chuck again. “You brought me here? Why?” His memories seemed so blurry; he must have been on earth before Chuck carried him to Heaven... He racked his brain about what he was doing as the divine power drew him up here. He just couldn’t… he couldn’t remember… just the blunt feeling lingered, that it was something of great importance. Something fundamental.

***

Dean Winchester stared at the empty spot where some seconds ago Cas was standing. His eyes widened as his mind catched up in realization that this was not a trick, or a sudden angelic freakout; Castiel just disappeared. Only, that this was not possible, as this hopeless dork of an angel does not have his wings. Oh yes, he has wings, but they are broken… aren’t they? Dean thought for a moment that maybe Cas’ wings grew back, and in the heat of the stressful past weeks, he just forgot to tell them. But no… this was not one of the things you keep in secret. Unlike _other_ things… but not this.

And why would he chose to drop everything and run after some heavenly business just now in the first place? Dammit, Dean was just about to say something important. Something that should have been said long ago. Maybe even _years_ ago. No, Castiel surely wanted to hear Dean out. Besides, Cas wanted the talk just as badly as himself.

So this could only mean one thing. Cas was taken by force.

Dean woke up from this state of trance. “What the hell!? Sammy!!” he yelled as he teared the door of his room open and ran to the war-room, where he knew Sam was sitting in front of his laptop.

***

“Yes, I brought you here Castiel. You were about to… well, let’s say it wouldn’t have been very healthy for you to stay on earth.”

“Why – what is happening? Sam and Dean – are they safe?” Castiel asked, his voice raising in alarm. “Ah, don’t worry, our precious boys are safe. At least for now.”

Castiel’s inner core, equitable to a human heart, calmed a little. “Then what is so dangerous for me, and can’t affect them as well?”  
Chuck let out a deep sigh. “You remember your deal with a certain nasty entity? It was very noble of you to do this, and I’m sure you’ve only done it out of love for Jack… but did you really think you’ll never be happy? I mean – at all?”

Castiel didn’t know what to say. The deal with the Empty. He had almost forgotten about it. Yes, he had done it out of love for Jack… because Castiel believed that the kid could do something good in this world. That he could make the world a better place, in little circles maybe, but steady, just like Sam and Dean.  
As the Empty offered him the deal, that it would spare Jack and take him, just when he would dare to feel true happiness, Cas thought this would be quite a good deal.

Because Castiel hardly knew what true happiness was. He knew a lot of emotions, yes. Sorrow and guilt, angst and loneliness, sadness and grief – those he knew very well. But it’s not that Cas was just an emotional wreck. No, he also knew pride and satisfaction, excitement and curiosity, desire and… love. Love… Inflaming, omnipresent, although for him - mostly - eternally unanswered.  
But happiness? He knew that this state can be reached when all the good things collide and you have – even for a short moment – nothing to worry about. All the cruel and evil things fade away and it must feel like rays of sunlight shining right into your heart. At least, this was Castiels imagination.

He let himself drift away. In his true form, his mind could sprawl so vastly wide, it’s very difficult to focus sometimes. He forced himself to remember to whom he was talking.

“Honestly, I didn’t think that far. There are situations in my current life, which make me believe happiness is not a state I’ll ever be in. So I agreed, and I don’t regret it. There is no light for me at the end of the tunnel – as the humans say.”

Chuck was looking concerned, somehow even compassionate. “Did the Empty say this to you? That there is nothing left for you on earth? Wow. It really tangled you…”, Chuck spoke silent and more to himself. He felt sad for his angel, for his precious little Castiel, who’s so constantly caught in his own sadness, it almost made him overthink his decision. But no, there is no turning back now. Some things just have to be done.

“Well, as it is, I have the ability to see some glimpses of the future from time to time. You may have not felt it for yourself yet, but there may be some occasions ahead, that could have an impact on your mood. Your happy mood, I mean.”

Cas could not believe the words that just came from this fathers mouth. “W-What? Really? What occasion could that possibly be?”

Well, he _could_ think about one thing. One thing that nibbled on him since… years. He never had the courage or self-confidence to chase this feeling, but it was permanently there. The urge to finally break free and stop fighting against it. But it has always been too risky. The fear of being rejected and destroying everything he built up… No. This was not worth it. How could he even fall into this so deeply? It grew stronger and stronger, from the moment he first laid a hand on… No.

He closed his eyes, all of them, and he could only see shades of green, beautiful, emeraldic reflections.

“Castiel? Are you still with me?”

It happened again, he drifted away. Damn.  
“It’s odd to be in my true form again“, Castiel finally managed to answer, “My thoughts haven’t been so loose since… Why am I in my true form anyway?”

“Yes. That. I needed you to be in your real form to alter you from the core. As you may have realized, you have your wings back again. And there are some other… changes that you may not see yet.”

Castiel looked at his renewed wings with awe. They were truly stunning. “Thank you for that, father. But what do you mean with ‘other changes’?”

“Castiel, I need you to listen now, and not freaking out, ok? There are a few things you need to know, some things that you might have forgotten… let’s see. The truth is, I altered your body to its primary form, the original you, your whole, _complete_ being.”

“I’m not sure I understand…”

God made a little pause and took a deep breath. His facial expression suddenly became very serious.

“You are an archangel, Castiel.”

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, the first chapter is done! Thank you so much for reading! If you liked what you read, I'd be so happy about kudos and of course, if you have a few minutes, i would appreciate your comment! Critics, good or bad are always welcome! If you are annoyed by stupid grammatical errors, please don't hesitate to tell me - I've read this one about a hundred times, but you get blind sometime....so I'm always happy to correct my messy bunch of words. :)


	2. Saturn

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Sam are worried about Castiel's vanishing.  
> In the meantime, Castiel finally gets the chance to talk to his father in Heaven. Is he really an archangel? And if yes - why can't he remember that?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey, next chapter is done! :) I'm exhausted but oh so happy.  
> Thank you SO MUCH - to EVERYONE - for leaving your lovely, nice and helpful comments on the first chapter, I appreciate it so much. You really motivate me guys! <3 <3 <3  
> And of course thanks to everyone who likes and reads my crazy little fic :)
> 
> The intro text is from the song "Saturn" by Sleeping at last. I love it so.  
> But enough talking, here we go...uah.

Chapter 2 **\- SATURN**

* * *

***

  _You taught me the courage of stars_

_Before you left_

_How light carries on endlessly_

_Even after death_

_With shortness of breath_

_You explained the infinite_

_How rare and beautiful it is_

_To even exist_

***

 

 

Sam looked up from his laptop as Dean rushed in the room. “What’s up, man?” As he saw the panic in his brother's eyes, Sam’s body tensed.

“What happened, Dean? Where is Cas?”

“Right, that’s the big question here! We were talking, back in my room, when suddenly – _poof_! He just disappeared! I dunno... I don’t think this is good, Sam!” Dean’s facial expression was something between desperation and rage. Sam tried to stay calm.

“He just disappeared into nothing? Did he say where he was going?”

Sam was confused. He knew that his brother and the angel had a very special relationship; Sam would even go so far to call it a bit odd… If only he was thinking about how they glance at each other when the other one isn’t looking… Of course, sometimes they argue, which was nothing too unusual, considering Dean’s stubbornness. So Cas leaving the room without commentary was nothing untypical at all. But now, after taking a closer look, Dean was acting a little bit strange in the presence of Cas lately. In fact, he seemed quite pensive and spent hours alone in his room, ‘meditating and listening to music’ as he said. Cas looked discontent and fretful at the time, there was no doubt, but Sam referred that still to their effort of getting Michael out of Dean and at the same time, being a good father for Jack. It has been a little much lately.

“No Sam, he didn’t say a single word. As I told you, he was standing there and in the next second, he wasn’t. Almost like when he used to fly away, remember? When he still had his wings?” Dean said roughly. He had to clear his throat.

“Yes, this was weird. He often disappeared without any explanation. What did you say to him anyway?”

Dean looked to the floor, shaking his head. “Nothing so outrageous that he’d take a leave. He has no wings after all, so this little trick doesn’t work anymore, you know that. Something must have taken him. He surely didn’t want to leave soon…”

“Now that is really strange though… hm.” Sam turned to his laptop and Dean could almost see the little wheels turning inside Sammy’s head. “Did he have his cell phone in his pocket?” Sam asked while typing.

“His… phone… I don’t know man, maybe? Yes, I think so – shall I try to call him?”

Dean couldn’t believe he hadn’t thought about this earlier.

But Sam looked to the screen in concentration. “No, let’s wait…, I’m just trying to track his mobile phone, maybe it’s better to find out where he is first.”

 

***

 

“I am… _WHAT_?” Castiel stared at his father, trying to process what he just heard.

This was absurd. This was unbelievable. And over all impossible…

Yet deep inside his core, he felt a fear rising… the fear that this was the truth and he just had forgotten about it… But, how…? 

“Yes, you are an archangel, Castiel. You were even born as one. Let me expl-“

Castiel couldn’t hold it in a second longer. “Then _why_ , for Heaven’s sake, can’t I remember anything? Something like _this_ I should know, shouldn’t I? _WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO ME??_ ”

His voice filled the room with all its power, letting the walls shake. Cas was terrified by his own sound. Mere energy, directly born from his grace, formed powerful noises of rage and disbelief. This is it. Obviously, they must have done something with his mind, his memory… He spread his wings in anger, feathers rustling. He wanted to cry out even louder than before, wanted to _shout_ out his emotions. His grace expanded as waves of electricity flickered through the room, lighting it up even more.

Chuck let the waves of unleashed grace rush over him. Finally, he rose his word.

“ _Enough_ , Castiel.” God’s pulsating aura sent shivers all over the angel’s body as the grace was pushed back to its source in a flash of light.

“I know you have been betrayed by Naomi and many others, but don’t forget who you’re speaking to. I’m here in this form – this vessel - so it’s easier for everyone to face me, and talk to me on an equal level. But remember, I can also do this another way. How I used to handle situations like this. Like in ‘ _You shall fear the wrath of God’_. I can throw you back to earth in an instant, but believe me, this world is doomed then. So listen to me now, and I will explain everything I can.”

... You don’t have to be afraid.”

He said the last words in a silent tone, much more calm, and closed his eyes with a little smile.

And here it was, once more: this overwhelming light. Unrivalled and eternal. Unmistakably unique and oh so soothing. Like it is written in bibles and other holy books all over the world in a thousand languages. People talking about the ‘Love of God’, but hardly no human being has ever experienced this feeling _for real_. But angels, they all know about it. They were Gods first creation and he filled them with his irresistible love. So love became grace, and this is how the angels came to be.

This was a long, long time ago.

It was the beginning.

 

And then, unexpectedly, Castiel could remember. He remembered that he was born with six incredible wings. Yes, they were deep black, with golden edgings and sparkling blue shades, unlike any others angels wings. He was lively and courageous, but also thoughtful and honest. And oh, how much he loved to fly. He remembered himself drifting in the air, eyes closed, entirely in peace, just feeling the warm air between his feathers. Liberating weightlessness was all he could feel then, as he flew across the sheer endless universe, just admiring the elegance of suns and planets… And being one with the infinity of the stars.

Castiel couldn’t say when he actually closed his eyes, but now he opened them up again in humbleness. “Please, forgive me, father. I… I would like to hear you out now.”

Chuck smiled gently, and leaned back in his white chair.

“Well, now that you believe me that you’re truly an archangel, let me tell you first, _who_ you were. My son, you know what your name means in enochian, right? It means _‘the speed of god’_. And yeah, what an outstanding talent you were, Castiel. No other angel could fly like you. Not even Michael, and we all know how perfect he was. You loved to do air races with your brothers, Gabriel always challenged you. He had so much faith in you… and so did I. You remember all the battles you fought in? You have always been a great leader to every garrison you were assigned to. Well, decades passed by, centuries. And then came the day when I sensed… something worrisome. Someone was trying to start the apocalypse. Again.”

God made a depressed face. With a sigh, he went on.

“I couldn’t let this happen, I had finally created a world, were every atom knew its place! Nature finally worked perfectly, good and evil were well balanced and humans… Yah, still far from flawless, but yet so beautiful, emotionally multifaceted and – above all – so loveable.

I sensed that some things were about to change. On an interdimensional level, I could feel that some events were set in motion. Castiel, can you guess what I’m speaking of? It was at the time, when Dean Winchester came to die. He went straight to hell, because he made that heroic deal to safe his brother.

Dean Winchester… what an outstanding example of humanity. So self-sacrificing when it comes to saving his family, without the slightest hesitation. There are only a handful of souls alike him, Cas. You know this better than anyone, of course.

Anyway, I needed to get Dean out of hell, before it was too late. The righteous man had to be rescued. So I entrusted a special unit with the task to drag Dean out of this nasty hole of lost souls. They needed to be fast, silent and clever. You know, you were the leader of this group. It was always clear for me that I would choose you. You were the fastest and most agile angel, and you could fly silent like an owl. It was all about to quickly get in and out of hell without causing a stir.”

Castiel suddenly felt twitchy. He knew this mission very well. Nevertheless he sensed his memories becoming more and more diffuse. But he didn’t say anything and veiled his nervousness.

“So you and the group of 3 more angels headed out to hell. I should have known it then… There is something about Dean Winchester’s soul, one can not easily resist.

I could see through your eyes then, Castiel. You found Dean. You found him deep down in the darkest cell of the pit where remains of endless pain and desperation lingered in the walls, in the air, all around; Dean was just about to torture these poor souls. You didn’t hesitate a second, you gripped him tight, to stop him in his action.

As you touched his bare shoulder, something extraordinary happened. The very moment your angelic grace came in touch with the solid parts of Dean Winchester’s soul, an ancient, powerful force was set free. An old law I created: When a guardian angel’s grace encounters the soul of its protégé, a bond is created, a very strong and heavenly connection between soul and grace.

Your grace reacted to Dean’s soul just like this, maybe even more intense.”

Castiel remembered this feeling very well. He felt connected do Dean in a persistent way ever since.

“You have to know,“ Chuck continued, “usually guardian angels are not allowed to touch a human’s soul, except in circumstances of tremendously great danger. Although this intervention in fate may save the soul, angel and human wouldn’t be the same again.

But you… you were an archangel… and archangels are not meant to be guardian angels. They were created to fulfil the most important duties, like leading armies, protecting heaven and the prophets. Guardian angels are weaker beings, basically their mission is it to protect selected souls for a certain period of time. So technically, this wasn’t even possible. I never believed this could happen _at all_. It never happened before, you know? But I underestimated the greatness of my own creations… souls really _are_ one of my most interesting inventions, I must say. Just like angel grace, they sometimes decide to react completely different than anyone can expect. They evolve into something even I can’t always foresee.”

Chuck smiled, more to himself. But there was another question stirring in Castiel’s mind, still unanswered. “I think I understood it all so far. But why couldn’t I remember that I was an archangel? I… I wasn’t one anymore from this moment on, am I right?” Castiel asked.

“Well, after you rescued Dean and everything was done, you came to me and told me you wish to go to earth. You wanted to help Dean finding his way, guide him, protect him. You considered it your responsibility to explain things to him; that you came too late for him, and the blood was already shed.

You were convinced that this was your destiny. And to be honest with you – by now I’m pretty sure about that as well.

Well, I had never seen you like this before. I think this was the first time since your creation, you _really_ demanded something. You were fretful, stubborn, insisting. But I couldn’t let you go. I couldn’t let an archangel go to earth, and take care of simple human problems. So I gave you a fateful choice. I said, if you’re really serious about becoming a guardian for Dean Winchester, you have to take the consequences. An archangel can never be a guardian angel. In no kind of way. It is too much waste of power and grace. You know, the last archangel I let walk amongst humans, was Lucifer. We all know how this worked out. I just couldn’t risk that.

You said, you don’t care. That you’d surrender your powers. You even said, that you could perfectly fly with only one pair of wings.” God chuckled.

“You had no doubts, not in the slightest way. There was no hesitation in your words, no fear of doing the wrong thing. Nothing that your brothers said could change your mind. Gabriel showed his disapproval by talking to you very harshly - you should overthink your decision. However, there was no turning back for you. I suppose, this was the moment your free will broke out, and maybe I was a bit concerned of what you’d do, shouldn’t I allow you to go. So, I let it happen and turned you into a common guardian angel.

But I did something else, that you didn’t know at the time. I erased your memory of your life as an archangel. I blended it out your mind - your core.

You chose Dean over your power, over your life, over everything. And I didn’t want you to feel regret or disappointment one day, so I made you forget, even that there _was_ a decision for you to make. Because I care about you… I hope you believe me that.”

Finally. The knowledge hit him like a thunderbolt. This was so hard to take… Cas collapsed in disappointment and frustration. So this is why every angel he met ever since disparagingly looked him up and down, declared him as a fallen one. Fallen for humanity. He fell from grace, just like Lucifer, but not for hating humankind, no. But for loving them. For loving one certain soul too much.

He told Dean more than once that he gave up so much for him. Without ever knowing what that _really_ meant, literally. But this wasn’t even the worst thing… it was the realization that his own father made him forget who he was.

“I feared something like that… I feared that you’ve done something to my mind. Did you really trust me so little to justify this action? I have always been loyal. I am _still_ loyal to heaven. Yes, I have done inexcusable things, I won’t deny that. But I always fought for heaven, to bring it back to its former glory. Then the angels fell, and everything broke apart. Sky fell down and I felt so damn… small and stranded all the time. I even became human for a while! I prayed to you and begged you to give me advice… I would have done _everything_ to hear a single word from you. But you remained silent.

Thus heaven was more and more corrupted by unworthy angels who thought they have the right to give orders. There was no archangel left, no Michael, no Gabriel who could take the lead. We were _so - lost_. And you _still_ didn’t show up. Hundreds of angels were killed and it didn’t stop. It was worse than during the first apocalypse 3000 years ago, it was the downfall of everything I stood for.

And now that everything finally lies in broken pieces, shattered on the ground of heaven’s ruins – now you seem to be back, deciding to turn me into an archangel again. I could have saved so many of us. I can’t even think about it. Yet here you sit, on your rightful place, telling me stories about my origin.

I assume – well, I really _hope_ \- this is for a greater reason.”

After his monologue Castiel felt exhausted. Although knowing the truth finally was a relief, he couldn't barely overcome the memory of the past years, when he had the constant feeling that there was something concealed inside him. Like some empty spots inside his mind, covered with a white blanket. But in fact, he never had much time to think about himself. He was too occupied by saving people, hunting things, over and over again – together with the Winchesters. However, this seemed to be totally enough for him. Jack helped them even more to be a real family, and he even felt glimpses of happiness sometimes. Of course not since Dean said 'Yes' to Michael. This was the worst thing that happened since a long, long time. Castiel was afraid he had lost Dean forever. Without letting him know… without having talked about it honestly.

“So Dean Winchester earned your loyalty, your respect... and your heart, without ever knowing it. Not even until now, am I right?” One corner of Chuck’s mouth went up a little. Castiel didn’t even wonder about the fact that Chuck did not comment on the topic about fallen angels and his desperation. His thoughts were somewhere else again, something became more important over the years than heaven or anything else. He had another family now.

“It doesn’t matter. I am happy how things are. I don’t have to make them even more complicated.”

Chuck rose from his chair and laid so much kindness in his words, looking deep in Castiel’s core. “No… you are not exactly _happy,_ Castiel, you just learned to accept how things have merged together. You can not lie to me, you know? I can see through you…”

Cas didn’t like where this conversation lead. “Well”, he said anyway, “You said _something_ has an effect on my happiness. Does it have something to do with… Dean?”

God’s steps echoed in the sterile room as he walked around Castiel.

Somehow just like a wolf encircling his prey.

“I can’t tell you that right now, I’m sorry. As you said, I brought you here for a reason. I came back, because there are some things that need to be fixed. Heaven is collapsing, the Empty is on our doorstep, trying to take over everything. I can hold it back for a while, but this entity is in fact too powerful.

You need to know one thing: I can’t do this alone, I need the help of an archangel. Well, more of your kind would be advantageous, but unfortunately we don’t have the time to bring Gabriel or the others back. And Michael is too unstable. The ‘other’ Michael is back in his own reality… He would’t have been a great help anyway, I suppose… So this is why I could not let it happen. I couldn’t let the Empty take you. I had only one choice: To bring _you_ back, my dear, unique night-sky-wing.”

This was _the Lord_ speaking, head of Heaven’s armies, Emperor of the skies, who does not tolerate contradiction. Castiel knew it was too late now to talk about personal topics.

 

And then, God told Castiel his plan.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! :) If you liked what you read, it would be awesome if you let me know what you think about it! I really appreciate your comments! ^^


	3. Earth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean, Sam and Jack are on their way to find Castiel. They are even more worried, when Jack tells the brothers a secret he promised not to reveal.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Welcome to the 3rd chapter! It seems to be a little shorter than the others; I had to split it from the 4th chapter, which I expect to be longer. ^^  
> A big "thank you" goes to everyone who keeps reading my fic and to the lovely people who shared their thoughts with a comment: Iceman12, all-or-nothing-baby, aIIegro, Dragonfish and Benka79 – THANK YOU for your nice and helpful words.
> 
> Chapter-title and intro is taken from the song “Earth” by Sleeping at Last.  
> Well then, let’s see how the boys handle the current situation. ;)

Chapter 3 **\- EARTH**

* * *

 ***

_There was an earthquake_

_There was an avalanche of change_

_We were so afraid_

_We cried ourselves a hurricane_

_There were floods,_

_Tidal waves over us_

_So we folded our hands and prayed_

***

 

 

The sky was unnaturally starry that night.

As Dean walked towards the soda machine of the shabby, little motel, he stopped all of a sudden, caught in pure amazement of this beautiful night sky. He couldn’t remember the last time he truly recognized that there are thousands upon _thousands_ of these little dots up there, shining down on earth, painting a beautiful picture of deep peace… and loneliness.

He couldn’t think about anything else but Cas. Why the hell he disappeared. And where. Was he in danger? Kidnapped? Tortured? The worst of bad thoughts occurred his mind and he always had to remind himself, to go on, to keep going. One step after another. Hell, it was a long drive.

Immediately after Sam had managed to locate Cas’ mobile phone, they packed up their stuff and hit the road, and it was already midnight as they checked in here.

As the flashing dot appeared on the map of Sam’s laptop, they both were more than surprised. Or shouldn’t they be? The computer showed them the exact coordinates of a well-known house, where some things began, and others… _ended_. Apparently Cas – or at least his cell phone – was at the house at the lake, where Jack was born. Where Kelly died. Where they tried to fight Lucifer. Where Cas - …

 _NO_ , he should not think of such things. Cas came back, and he was well and alive. _And he still is… he still is_. Dean swallowed hard while standing in the silent darkness. His emerald eyes tried to connect the stars like dots, creating pictures which could maybe distract him from his constant worried thoughts.

Too many memories came up, thinking about this place, this house. The damn pyre, the outrageous beauty of the sunset on that crystal blue water, the dense smoke smudging the drowsy landscape… These are images he buried deep inside of him, he wanted to forget them. But Cas was gone and Dean didn’t know what to do, what to think… If he wouldn’t have had Sam and Jack, he just would have drove blindly, straight on.

“Dean, what is taking you so long to get us some drinks?” Jacks worried voice came closer.

“I just… I was just looking at the stars, kid. See, they are quite bright tonight, don’t cha think?” Jack tilted his head back to observe the sky. “They truly are… can you tell which constellations these are?” Jack asked curiously in his innocent manner.

“No Jack, I’m not an astronaut, OK? Better ask Sam about this. Speaking of, let’s grab some drinks and then I suggest we go to bed not too late. Tomorrow we have to drive another six hours.”

Dean and Jack walked back to their room. With a last glance at the night sky, Dean closed the door.

 

***

 

The next morning, they hit the road early. None of them could sleep very well. They drove without talking much; Dean refused to hear any kind of music. Sam was a little concerned about that.

“Have you tried to call him again?” Sam said in the silence.

“Of course Sam, almost every hour since yesterday! No answer.”

Dean said nothing more, staring straight on the road. He concealed, that he also tried to pray to Cas, of course without receiving an answer either.

Sam couldn’t let his brother wrack his brain about Cas’ disappearance, so he tried to keep the conversation alive.

“So, tell us again, what were you and Cas talking about as he vanished?” Dean glared at him, before turning his eyes through the windshield again.

“Nothing of importance. Nothing that matters… Nothing at all, in fact. And now, keep your mouth shut. I have to concentrate on driving.”

 

***

 

The truth was, they hadn’t even got that far - to say something important. Dean wanted to explain some things to Cas. First of all, he felt the need to apologize for all the things he said while he was possessed by Michael. Michael let him say mean things… for example that Castiel was just some sort of tool they only needed to solve cases. That he was just a burden. Literally and… emotionally.

During Michael’s possession, Dean heard one specific question, over and over again: _“What do you want?"  
_

So while drowning in his own mind, never aware of what’s a dream, reality or just reflections of the past, he had enough time to think about this question. It was the only thing he had, everything he could hold on to. And what he saw then, in front of his inner eye, only was a sapphire shimmering shade of blueish endlessness. Mysterious and all around him, it was persistently taking over his visual perception.

He knew exactly what it was. He could feel it in his heart, even though Michael had his hands on the steering wheels of his voice and body.

And suddenly it all was crystal-clear to him. What he really wanted.

Dean wanted to survive this, he refused to drown in the spiralling depth of Michael’s energy. Yes, he wanted to endure this freaking possession, only to see those colours again. He _had to_ survive – for this. And so the mere thought of it grew stronger and stronger, and _finally_ he broke through the surface of his own mind, his soul expanded in an outburst of sheer power.

And so Michael left his body. With a spell from Rowena, they managed to push the archangel through the rift and back to his doomed, apocalyptic world where he came from.

Besides the feeling of deep relief, Dean felt the urge to tell Cas what kept his soul breathing and that the thought of maybe never seeing Castiel’s otherworldly eyes again made him fight even harder - let him withstand Michael’s takeover. Dean didn’t know exactly what it meant… all the emotions, when he saw the angel. So after overthinking some things alone in his room, he decided to do the only reasonable thing: speaking directly to Cas about the whole situation. Dean couldn’t wait any longer. Life was too short and too dangerous to leave such important things in the dark. Unsaid. At least, the whole Michael-crap taught him this lesson.

Together with Castiel, he wanted to figure out the feelings. And whatever would have come out, Dean would have been OK with it. But then the angel disappeared… just as Dean was about to explain how desperate and broken he was after Cas’ death… Oh what irony.

 

***

 

Jack suddenly stirred in the back seat. He was very quiet the last couple of hours; he didn’t say much, just stared out of the window. But he looked wide awake now as he asked: “Dean - did you say something to Cas that made him happy?”

Sam turned around to give Jack an alarming look, meaning _‘don’t go on, don’t hit the weak spot’_ , yet amazed by the interesting question. He risked a look at Dean – who was still staring straight on the road, biting his inner cheek before answering.

“What do you mean with if I said something that makes him happy??” Dean answered with a slightly trembling voice.

“Well, uh… there is a matter… I’m not supposed to tell you… I promised…” Jack stuttered, but the words were already said.

“What matter? Jack – what is it – you tell us _NOW_ or I swear to God….”

“Dean.“ Sam raised his hand to calm his brother down. “Jack, what are you talking about? What is it that you should not tell us? Something that Cas said?”

Jack felt uncomfortable. He promised Castiel not to tell the Winchesters about it. But maybe this was about Cas’ life… and _this_ was everything that mattered now. So he continued.

“You remember when I was dead… I was in heaven, with my mother. Suddenly, Castiel appeared and told me, you were trying to bring me back. To life. At that point, I wasn’t even sure if I wanted this at all, as the Empty rushed in and… claimed me. You know, because I am half-angel, and dead angels belong to the shadow. I was ready to go… But then - Cas made a deal.”

“ _A deal_? You’re fucking kidding me!!!” Dean couldn’t stand it any longer. He steered the Impala to the side of the road and turned off the engine. He turned around to face Jack. “Boy, what kind of friggin’ deal did he make – go on. _TALK_.”

“He begged the Empty to take him… instead of me.” Poor Jack looked so lost at this moment, he couldn’t even look them in the eyes. Dean turned around again, closing his eyes, head falling into his hands.

“I see. But how come he’s still here?” Sam added quickly, before Dean got a chance to vent his anger.

“The Empty said, she wants Cas to suffer. She wanted him to forget about the deal… and…“ Jack swallowed hard. “…and when he finally gives himself the permission to be truly happy, she will come to get him. These were her words. Castiel accepted the deal.”

“ _Of course_ he did. This suicidal son of a bitch...” Dean clenched his fists and took a sharp breath.

“OK, well that’s… a strange deal… anyway - this leads us back to the original question: Did you say something that possibly made him feel happy? Dean?” Sam watched his brother, who suddenly pushed the door open and jumped out of the Impala.

“ _Damn it, CAS!!_ ” Sam and Jack heard Dean scream towards the sky, hands clasped behind his head. Sam saw the outburst coming. “You better stay in the car, Jack.” He advised the Nephilim. As he joined his brother outside the car, hot sunlight shining on their faces, Dean was just about to kick a pretty big stone into the field. That must have hurt. Dean’s face was so tense, Sam couldn’t tell if it came from the kick or the news they just head.

“Dean, calm down, we will handle this. This is what we do, or not?” Dean was upset, glared at the younger one. “Then tell me, how can we handle _THIS_? He will _die_ when he is _happy_ , Sam!! Who the hell would ever consider accepting such a crazy deal? I mean, what’s the matter with our lives; every fucking shit always just happens _to us_??"

“Dean, every one of us has already made some screwed-up deals. But it was always to save our family. Cas did nothing else, he wanted to help Jack to get his life back. Doesn’t that count?”

“But Cas… I mean, we can not lose him… again. What did he even think? That he’ll be unhappy and a miserable grumpy guy for the rest of his damn _eternal_ angelic life? We _deserve_ to be happy Sam, I still haven’t given up the dream of one day living in peace… without agony, or pain, without thinking what tomorrow could possibly bring. And now he throws it all away, just like that…

I’m glad that Jack is alive, don’t get me wrong. But we would have figured out another way. Because _this_ is what we do, Sammy – we’ve got over it, making fucked up deals with some invincible cosmic freaks. I just don’t understand it…”

Dean’s legs felt so shaky, he let himself slide down to the dirty ground, angrily ripping out some dry grass. He looked up to the sky, his glassy eyes blurred with vulnerability, Sam couldn’t help but to feel sad as well.

“What if he is _DEAD_?” Dean suddenly shouted.

“I just couldn’t stand it, Sam… Not once again. I just can’t.”

“Me neither.” Sam and Dean abruptly turned around as they heard Jack’s voice behind them. “If Castiel is dead, that’s my fault. I couldn’t live with the guilt. He has done so much for me…”

“OK - guys, just stop it now!” Sam said firmly and cleared his throat. “We don’t know anything yet, ok? Don’t let the worst thoughts tear you down! First step is to follow the track of his cell phone. Maybe we’ll find a sign of him at the house. But Dean, you have to tell us; is there a chance that Cas was happy when you talked to him? Please.”

“No, there wasn’t a chance, I’m sure. We had just started the conversation when it happened.” Dean confirmed sadly. “I was about to explain some things to him, and looked for the right words… then it was too late. Anyway, what makes you believe that his happiness depends on _me_?”

Sam closed his eyes dramatically, sighing.

The relationship of Dean and Castiel. Awkward, strange, not always understandable to outsiders. Sam never really interfered. He tried to talk with Dean about Cas a few times, but it ended up in a mess every single time. (Basically with Dean throwing his hands up, changing the topic or leaving the room abruptly; Sam shaking his head and mumbling something like “if you say so…”). Nevertheless, talking about it now seemed more necessary than ever. Sam put his thumb and index finger on the bridge of his nose.

“Dean.” Sam said calmly.

“Did it ever occur to you, that you and Cas… well… that this is more than just friendship?”

The specific question was asked and Sam mentally prepared for his brothers’ tantrum.

But it did not come. Dean just sat there, on the ground, still playing with the grass in his hands, all covered in the aura of misery. His eyes were fixed on his hands as he finally spoke.

“Sam, I… I don’t really know. To be honest, this is a topic I’ve always avoided thinking about. And I’m tired of this. It is true, there must be some connection… I can’t exactly define it. And obviously, I can’t hide it anymore. Not from you and certainly not from myself. You know, being possessed by Michael, it changed something in me.

I realized that life is short and… too precious to waste time thinking about certain stuff in endless circles. So I… I wanted to talk with Cas about it. I just would have liked to hear his point of view… I mean, he is a weird, helpless, little angel who doesn’t even understand half of my jokes… “

Dean’s voice broke but a little smile appeared on his face. Gentle and so sad. Sam laid a hand on his older brother’s shoulder and bent down so he could see right in Dean’s eyes.

“Hey, Dean.” Sam firmly squeezed his shoulder. “It’s alright. You didn’t say anything that made him happy; that means, we can be pretty sure, the void wasn’t the one who got him. So we keep on driving to that house now. We will find him, I promise. Pull yourself together. Come on.”

Dean looked into his brothers eyes, and as he saw the determination in Sam’s face, he stood up slowly, nodding. “You’re right Sammy… we cannot linger. And I tell you one thing… Sam, Jack… if we should find his body, with those awfully burned, wing-shaped contours on the ground, I’m going to find that Empty-bitch myself, even when that means to take a rocket-trip to the end of the damn universe. We will get him back. I won’t let anything tear our family apart - as long as there’s air in my lungs.”

 

After these words, Dean tightly embraced his little family and finally he felt some hope rising inside his chest.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! :D  
> If you like what you read, let me know! Kudos and Comments are more than welcome. I appreciate your opinion. :)
> 
> Unfortunately, I still don’t have a beta-reader, so feel free to tell me if you stumbled over an unforgiveable typo or grammatical error. ;)
> 
> You can find me on tumblr as well: [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) :-)


	4. Mercury

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, the boys arrive at the old house at the lake. Although it is not quite what they expected, they are witnessing a phenomenon very few people have ever seen.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello my friends, here comes chapter 4! I’m so exited – I think this is my favorite chapter so far! :D  
> To the lovely people who took their time to comment the chapters and encouraging me with their helpful and nice words: Thank you so much for sticking to it!  
> Iceman12, aIIegro, BENKA79 and Dragonfish: I hope it satisfies your Archangel-Cas-Desires for the time being. ^^
> 
> And of course to everyone who reads and enjoys: Thank you for reading! This chapter is for you. :)
> 
> Last but not least, I want to thank my heroine, the lovely [Jackdaw816](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816) for awesome beta-reading and saving mighty Cas. ;) 
> 
> The text at the beginning is again from a song by Sleeping at last: “Mercury”  
> I see, I talk too much again, so let’s go! ^^

Chapter 4 **\- MERCURY**

* * *

 ***

  _I know the further I go_

_The harder I try, only keeps my eyes closed_

_And somehow I’ve fallen in love_

_With this middle ground at the cost of my soul_

_Yet I know, if I stepped aside_

_Released the controls, you would open my eyes_

_That somehow, all of this mess_

_Is just an attempt to know the worth of my life_

 ***

 

Dean, Sam and Jack arrived at the house when the first long shadows already covered the shore. The fading sunlight painted the sky in beautiful colors and the air was so clear, like after rainfall in spring.

They had their weapons ready, just in case. A man sat on the doorstep, rather a boy, watching the lake in silence.

“He’s an angel.” Jack whispered.

Dean gripped his angel-blade tighter. “Well, can’t say I’m surprised. When something weird happens, you can be 99% sure either demons are involved, or these winged douchebags. Let’s go.”

Determined, the boys approached the angel who was suddenly jumping up and came towards them. “What do you want? You have no business here.”

Dean didn’t waste time. He grabbed him at the collar and pressed the blade against the angel’s throat. “You better tell _us_ what is going on here, and I will maybe spare your little life. Where is he? Where is Castiel? Talk.”

The angel looked up to Dean, his eyes widened as he recognized him. “Dean Winchester.”

“Do we know you? I think I saw your face before…” Sam asked.

“Yes, we have met before. My name is Samandriel. I was dead… but the Lord brought me back. He has an important task for me. A big responsibility. And now release me, for heaven’s sake.”

Dean snorted contemptuously. “Big responsibility, huh? Adorable. You know what, I don’t care about your duties, or whatever heavenly crap is going on here. We’re here for Castiel. And you won’t stop us.” Dean released Samandriel and headed for the entrance of the house, followed by Sam and Jack.

Samandriel sighed deeply. “Well, then… .”

 

The deep standing sun sent its rays through the dirty windows, as Dean pushed the door open. The room was filled with that mystical, beautiful light… and Dean was almost sick of the smell of old dust. The curtains were still torn down, the damn table was still dominating the small living room. However, the big table wasn’t empty, no.

He was lying there, motionless, silent,… lifeless. Someone folded the trench coat under his head like a pillow. Dean stepped closer. With his eyes closed, Castiel looked like he was sleeping. Dean felt his guts vanishing, leaving behind a dark hole of nothingness.

“CAS!” he said loudly, gently shaking him. But there came no answer, no reaction at all. Dean couldn’t stand the scene any longer. Too many memories flooded his mind; Cas lying on exactly the same table, dead. And just like back then, there was no sign of life in him. Dean felt like being stuck in an awful, creepy déjà-vu. He turned away from the table, as Sam and Jack entered the room with Samandriel.

Jack looked terrified the moment he saw Castiel. His questioning gaze shifted to Dean. “What’s the matter with him? I can not perceive his presence… Is he…?”

“He is not _dead_.” Samandriel clarified. “This is only his vessel, his empty vessel. I am here to guard it.”

Dean wasn’t able to say something, he just sucked in the air, like he would have been under water. For too long.

“So you say he is still somewhere out there?” Jack asked shyly as he stepped closer to Castiel’s body. “Interesting. Anyhow… he looks like he is just sleeping…” he tilted his head, just as Cas does it sometimes, quizzical, curious, pensive. “I once read a fairy-tale… about a girl named Snow-White... there came a prince and…”

“Oh please, would you SHUT the hell up now, Jack!” Dean flared up, rolling his eyes. Sam held back a smirk and didn’t dare to look at Dean who was blushing a little. _Oh_ , he had to save the situation.

“Ok, what exactly is going on here? Can you tell us?” Sam demanded quickly. The angel’s gaze wandered curiously from Cas to Dean and back to Cas.

Samandriel opened his mouth to say something, as suddenly a deep rumble shook the house like a roll of thunder. Sam looked through the window, but there were no thunderclouds… He could even see the first stars had already appeared in the sky. Some red glowing fleecy clouds looked like stains of paint on the purple firmament. But there was something else… Sam stepped to the window.

“Guys… what is that?”

Dean and Jack joined Sam at the window. Dean had to admit that the sky looked absolutely stunning. The special light, the clouds, the silhouettes of the mountains… a perfect composition of a beautiful sunset atmosphere. And then he saw it too. There was a bright spot, like a star lit in unnaturally blue light. Dean had sometimes seen stars in strange colours, Mars in red, Venus in yellow… but nothing like this blue. And it came closer. It got bigger and bigger.

“What… what is that?! A freakin’ alien-invasion?” Dean gasped. The plates and glasses in the cupboard suddenly began to clink as the air was filled with a high whirring noise.

Samandriel stood there, reverently staring at the glowing object. “It is time… He is coming.”

 

***

 

The ground was now wobbling steadily and dust trickled from the ceiling. “Let’s get the hell out of here!” Dean shouted.  They all ran outside and gathered at the rocky shore, without taking their eyes off the approaching light.

Jack was the first one to speak again. “What do you mean, Samandriel – Who is coming?”

Samandriel smiled knowingly. “You have never seen an archangel in his true form, haven’t you? And I don’t mean the swirling light-blue, glowing smoke angels use to take over a vessel… no, not that. What I’m speaking of, is the purest manifestation of grace that exists. There is nothing like an unleashed archangel… Nothing more forceful… and more beautiful. Except God himself, maybe.”

Samandriel didn’t even blink as the sheer brightness of the essence came closer.

“An archangel!? But I thought they were all dead or in the cage?” Sam questioned while protecting his eyes with his hand. “Besides, isn’t the sight of an archangel’s true form deadly to humans?”

“Oh, you two should be able to look at the true form of an archangel, you both have been possessed by one… and you…” he glanced at Jack for a moment, “you are half archangel. The sight shouldn’t do you any harm.”

Dean was not so sure about that. He has never seen anything so bright; the intensity of the light burned like staring at the sun for too long. Still, he couldn’t look away. His eyes narrowed to small slits, he could finally trace some outlines forming out of the blinding grace.

There were _wings_.

This was the first thing Dean could identify. And what wings they were. The incredible wingspan of the main pair extended in sheer endlessness, because the contours were not really recognizable. They bled into the young night sky like they would be one with the starry firmament. The other two pairs were a bit smaller, yet no less remarkable. Shimmering in a deep black with bluish shades they sort of reminded Dean of the feathers of a magpie. Sometimes, he found them as a child, and thought that they looked extraordinary.

But the sight he was witnessing now, exceeded a limit he didn’t even know existed.

The archangel came quickly closer, he floated above the surface of the lake. It seemed, as if even the water itself was sinking away fearfully to let him pass. Silent waves lapped behind him and Dean could finally catch a glimpse of the angel’s body.

He was very tall, a masculine stature with defined muscles at arms and chest. The rest of his body was covered with a kind of toga. The pearl-white robe gleamed like silk, and the folds of the fabric cast shadows that only the old masters knew how to capture on canvas.

His majestic head was illuminated by a giant halo; traces of grace dripped from the surreal ring of light and fizzled away the moment they left the angel’s ethereal aura.

The air crackled around him, but the high tone of his celestial chanting was only a distant echo.

“Uh… Samandriel… I think now is a good time to tell us which archangel this is! Did God resurrect Michael too?” Sam managed to say. Although knowing it was useless against an archangel, he held his angel blade higher.

“You really don’t recognize him… Wow.” Samandriel smiled and seemed to enjoy their lack of knowledge.

Dean could only stand there like a pillar of salt and staring with a half open mouth at the approaching celestial being. However, his heart was pounding like a jackhammer. The facilitating realization touched him gently like the morning light.

“ _Cas.”_ He whispered hoarsely.

 

***

 

Jack’s eyes widened. “But Castiel… he is... no…” He looked confused in Sam’s direction. But Dean’s younger brother had no words either.

Samandriel answered instead. “Yes, this is indeed Castiel… but he’s blazing in his true glory now again, I’m sure you’ve never seen him like this before.”

And it was the truth. The sight of such pure divinity made Dean fall to his knees in awe. The intense, warm light emanating from the archangel’s shimmering grace reflected on Dean’s face and he shivered slightly.

Castiel’s bare feet gently met the dark grass on the bank as he settled on the surface of the earth.

_“Hello, Dean.”  
_

The angel didn’t move his lips; Dean could hear Castiel’s words in his head. And not only there. His whole body felt like it was filled with this heavenly presence, touching him deep down his soul.

“You’re… alive… I’m so glad.”

Samandriel stepped forward. “Welcome back, Commander. I’ve been guarding your vessel, as God demanded. It’s inside the house.” He waved his hand in direction of the house.

Castiel raised his hand, like he wanted to thank the other angel for the information, but keeping him from saying anything more. For some endless seconds Cas just stood there, in all his matchless splendor.

Dean risked a closer look at his perfectly formed wings. Every single feather was edged with a delicate golden line. He had never seen anything of such breathtaking beauty.

The boys were still unable to say a word as the archangel stepped closer. In the face of this extraordinary phenomenon they were just experiencing, it somehow felt unnatural to even take a breath.

Sam felt like being thrown in one of those biblical stories and wondered, if these people were as speechless and intimidated as they are now.

“Please stand up, Dean. There is no need to kneel down. Everything is fine, I am back now. I’ll take over my vessel and then we’ll talk.”

Castiel silently walked past them, in direction of the house, and only now Dean could see that the archangel held a giant sword in his right hand. The silvery shimmering blade looked like regular steel and the crossguard had the shape of two wings on either side of the long hilt.

The Winchester slowly got on his feet, turning his head so would not lose sight of Cas. He didn’t know why, but he absolutely wanted to suck in every second of this moment. Against his attitude, Dean thanked God inwardly, for being allowed to see this beautiful creature – who was _Cas_. His angel, the funny guy who doesn’t understand any of his references and shows a strange behaviour sometimes.

This was _the real Cas_ ; and Dean tried to burn the current image of the angel right in his mind. Like if he should ever forget who Castiel _really_ was, he wanted to remember this picture.

The cloth of Castiel’s robe was slightly touching the ground and with every step the angel made, the silky material followed his moves like water.

Then he reached the door and vanished out of sight.

Suddenly, the air around the little group was noticeable getting colder, the night sky a few nuances darker and the low breeze fresher.

Their hearts felt a little heavier.

Something in the corner of Dean’s eye caught his attention. He looked to the ground at his feet and saw a golden shimmer in the grass. Dean bent down to take a closer look and what he picked up, was a short, delicate feather, approximately 10 inches long. It was undoubtedly from Cas. He must have just lost it.

“Little, helpless angel, huh?” Sam broke the silence breathlessly. Dean’s gaze was still fixed on the feather.

“This is strange…” Samandriel observed Dean with curiosity, “Usually, angels do not lose their feathers unless they are really scared… or nervous. You should keep it Dean… Almost nothing is rarer than the feather of an archangel; they’re rarely scared enough to loose them.”

“Uh-huh.” Dean mumbled. Still a little dazed, he put the feather in his jacket.

In the next moment, they were surprised by a blueish light shining through the windows, illuminating the nightly landscape for a few seconds. And then it was over.

 

***

 

For Dean, it felt like a little eternity until – finally – Castiel stepped through the door. Suit, tie, trench coat, messy hair – Jimmy Novak’s vessel was full of life again. Dean’s legs moved automatically. He walked, almost _ran_ , towards Cas and threw his arms around the angel, ending up in a tight hug.

“You scared me, man… just disappearing without a word…” he released Cas. “Don’t you EVER do that again, ya hear me?!” Cas put on a smile. “Dean, I –“

“How dare you, talking to Commander Castiel in that tone, you have no right to even be here at all!” Samandriel snapped, glaring at Dean. Before anyone else could react, Castiel turned to Samandriel, approaching him dangerously slow, until he stood directly in front of him.

“Samandriel. They have _every_ right to be here. They are needed. But above all they are my friends. Besides, I’m deciding on my own, who talks to me in which way. And – “ Cas’ left eyebrow raised a little as he held his chin up, “- don’t call me ‘Commander’.”

Those words said, he left the flabbergasted angel with his thoughts and walked up to Sam and Jack, hugging them both.

“Cas, we are so glad to see that you are well. But Dean is right, please don’t do that again. We were really worried.” Jack insisted.

“Awesome appearance though… I assume you got a little ‘upgrade’ while you were away?” Sam asked expectantly.

Cas nodded slightly. “That’s a longer story Sam; let’s go inside and I’ll tell you everything you want to know. And everything you need to know. There are some things to do, and I might need your help with that.”

 

***

 

“Woah, you really spoke to - _God_?”

“Yes, Jack, and it was quite an enlightening conversation.”

They were all sitting in the living room, around the big table. Dean couldn’t think of anything else than this being some kind of weird military council. Castiel sat on the head of the table, Samandriel on his right side. _‘Like his damn squire’_ Dean thought a little annoyed. Jack and Sam placed themselves on the other long side of the table, so Dean took the seat directly across Cas. 

“He let me remember that I was an archangel and turned me into one again. Believe me, this was quite a shock for me as well… But I am glad that I remember now who I truly am.”

“OK, so the man above let you forget who you really are. Why?” Dean asked sharply and fixed the angel with his eyes. Castiel avoided his gaze and answered:

“This is not relevant at the moment… It’s just important that things are like they are now. Because the Lord needed an archangel. For this.”

Cas gestured to the big sword which laid on the table in front of them. Dean wondered, if it’s as heavy as it looked. Now that he had time to study the surface of the blade more closely, he could see, that the material got darker the closer it was to the grip. The pointy end was obviously made of silver or some other extraterrestrial metal, who knows. The two wings forming the crossguard were a beautiful work, very detailed.

“This is the Trinity-Sword.” Cas continued. “The only weapon that can kill the Empty.”

For some eternal seconds, they all stared at the blade, no one saying a word.

“Aha. So that’s what it all is about. The Empty.” Dean snorted. “Perfect. And now you’re telling me, God needs some puppet-soldier to do the dirty work for him, am I right? Why can’t he just stab the bitch by himself? You’ve already been in the empty, and thanks to Jack you got out. I’d say, no need to go there again. You –“ Dean wanted to add something about the deal, but he didn’t even know where to start.

Jack was lost in his own thoughts. He knew exactly why he was able to wake up Castiel at all. It was because of hearing Dean’s desperate words, the high waves of emotions; as he clarified in front of Sam, that Jack was the one to blame for Cas’ death. Maybe he was too young back then, but now he knew, that Cas meant so much to Dean, that he wanted to protect the angel, not matter the cost.

“Dean, I am no ordinary angel anymore. I know how to defend myself… you can be absolutely sure about that. Besides, God can not swing the sword. Only an archangel can. But there is still another problem. The sword is not… complete yet. In this state, it’s worthless.”

“And by ‘defending yourself’ you mean being unhappy for the rest of your life?”

Cas, still avoiding to look in Dean’s eyes, deliberately ignored his question.

“To complete the sword and to make it fully operational, three sacred stones must be found and inserted into the blade.” He gripped the sword and turned it around, so they could see three notches, right underneath the wing-shaped crossguard.

Sam’s analytical mind finally woke up. “Ok, I get it so far, Cas. But where are these stones? Do you know it?”

“Not exactly. When God created the weapon, he separated it from the stones and the stones from each other, so no one could accidently find them and use it. The Empty doesn’t know about the sword, as far as we know. However, God consigned the stones to people’s care and had them build temples and other sacred sites, keeping them in safe custody. Unfortunately, he also showed them how to use warding sigils, so no angel, demon, or god could ever find it.”

“I see. So we have to consult the lore, I assume. There must be a hint somewhere. Humans are not very good at keeping things completely in secret.” Sam said and glanced to Dean, who was looking out of the window.

Castiel nodded. “Well, there is at least one thing I know about the stone’s locations. They are hidden in different worlds. And this is why I need your help all the more. You’ve been to the Apocalypse world and to the world you call the ‘bad place’. I’m pretty sure, two of the stones are there. And the other one is somewhere here, on our Earth.”

Dean almost jumped up from his seat. “The Apocalypse world? And this friggin’ monster-jungle?? Hell, I’m not going to set a single foot in one of these rat-holes ever again!” he ranted.

“Of course you will Dean, we will _all_ go. We need to help Cas.” Jack said confidently. All eyes were on him. “Am I right, Sam?”

Sam just couldn’t hold back a grin.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! *_*  
> Sometimes I got stuck writing this chapter, but I enjoyed it so much.  
> I’d love to hear what you think! I appreciate your opinion! :)
> 
> If you wanna find me on tumblr, I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


	5. Mars I - [uneven odds]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After some research and an unavoidable extraction of grace, our squad opens the rift, leading to the Apocalypse world. Not that they expected a warm welcome…

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my friends, I’m coming up with the next chapter! I noticed that they’re getting longer now, adventure-time and conversations make words bloom. :) I split that one in part I + II, so you don’t have to wait any longer. ^^
> 
> To everyone who sticks to the fic, caught up, stumbles in – THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading, giving kudos and of course for sharing your nice and lovely comments! It makes me so happy and I appreciate it so much - it keeps me going on! :D
> 
> I want to thank the great [Jackdaw816](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816) for kindly helping me with beta-reading and for bringing light in the dark of the pronouns-world. ;)
> 
> The text at the beginning is from the song “Mars” by Sleeping At Last, the little interlude text (and chapter-additive) from the song “Uneven Odds”, also from Sleeping At Last.

Chapter 5 **\- MARS I** [uneven odds]

* * *

***

_We were full of life_

_We could barely hold it in_

_We were amateurs at war_

_Strangers to suffering_

_We made our families proud_

_But scared at the same time_

_We promised we’d be safe_

_Another lie from the front line_

***

 

 

“I still can’t believe we’re actually doing this. Going back to this apocalyptic ashtray – voluntarily.” Dean mumbled.

In the dull light of the bunker, they were about to prepare the ingredients for the spell to open the rift to another world. After Cas explained that the Empty made it their goal to take over heaven, Dean accepted that they had no other choice but to find a way to kill the cosmic entity. All in all it was business as usual.

Still, he was slightly pissed. This had little to do with their mission, but the fact that Cas has apparently ignored him since they were back made Dean almost go wild. He was pissed because _once_ _again_ a case was more important than their own lives. And he was pissed, because Sam, Jack and especially Samandriel danced around Cas like he was the goddamn queen of England.

‘ _Damn, pull yourself together._ ’ Dean thought frustrated. “Are you ready yet? Bloody hell, what’s taking you so long?” he addressed Samandriel, who mixed the stuff together in a great bowl.

“I’m almost ready… only one ingredient is missing. Archangel grace.” the young angel declared solemnly.

“Well, luckily we have a fully charged archangel! Hey, Cas, we need some of your mojo over here!” Dean shouted across the room where Sam and Cas brooded over a mountain of books. Samandriel glared at Dean, still outraged at the way Dean talked to Castiel.

“Guys, I think I’ve found something in here.” Sam flicked through some pages, ignoring Dean’s shout.

“According to the lore, there are three temples: _the Tower of Flames, the Monument of the Earth and the Cave of Frozen Waters_. These sound like the sites we’re looking for. It doesn’t mention the sword though…” Sam ran his fingers over the page. “But the author compared the three elements – fire, earth, water – with the holy _trinity_. I’m pretty sure this is it!”

Cas pulled the book over. “I think you’re right, Sam… Hm, it says the temples can only be opened by the corresponding sages. Interesting…”

“Sages? What does that mean?” Sam wondered.

“Chuck told me about it… there exist special souls in every world, their blood has the ability to open the warded doors. So we not only have to find the temples, but also the sages of every world.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Wonderful. Truly the easiest thing on earth, finding one single human amongst eight billion of people.” Castiel watched him, thoughtfully.

“I will recognize the souls when I see them, Dean. They have a… unique aura. I can circle the Earth in a few minutes while looking for a particular individual, so this should not be a problem.”

If Dean was surprised by the fact that Cas was able to search a whole planet for a single human in minutes, he didn’t show it.

Unlike Jack. “Oh, I wish I had my wings… I wish you could show me how to fly like that, Castiel. I could help you.” Remembering the loss of his powers always made Jack a little sad. When they brought the boy back to life, Sam and Dean asked Rowena to lock Jack’s powers with a spell, so there was no risk he could accidentally burn off his soul.

Castiel stood up and walked over to Jack, putting a hand on the Nephilim’s shoulder. “Jack, I’m sure we’ll find a way to restore your powers one day. But first, we have an enormously important task to fulfill.”

He let go of Jack and turned around, speaking to them all now.

“I’m really sorry that I have to bother you again with Heaven’s problems… but this entity is a threat to… well, _everything_. If it should take over heaven, endless nothingness will devour this planet and every other world in this universe as well. This is almost unimaginable, even for me. Because there hasn’t been ‘nothing’ since the light of God originated. You know, our universe – all universes, galaxies, solar systems can only exist, because a balance is keeping them together. Light and dark. Good and evil. Up and down. Do you wonder where the Empty belongs in this scheme? Nowhere. Because the void is not a part of this constellation.”

He took some steps to the right, hands crossed behind his back.

“In the end, the Empty fears everything that’s _something_. It just does’t understand it, the essence of life – the possibility to feel something. When I woke it up and started negotiating, I confronted it with all my feelings; my desperation, my anger, my honest wish to find my way back to you. It showed me my deepest fears, but I held on to my good memories of you. And my destined task to help you and support you.

It got rid of me, but I think I stirred it up so much that it could not find peace again. And then Jack was sent to heaven as he died - this was too much, I guess. I assume it wants to expand to endlessness. And the first step is to take over heaven by defeating God and the remaining angels. Chuck is in heaven right now, creating new angels… but this is a very time-consuming activity. I hope you understand that we can not waste time unnecessarily.”

Castiel finished his little speech with an encouraging nod. Dean studied him, from head to toe, fascinated, moved, but most of all, he was so proud of the angel. Even if Cas might not even know it, he radiated such self-confidence and strength, Dean hadn’t seen him like that for a long time.

“Okay, Cas, we’ll do this - together of course,” Dean said. “So, next stop: Apocalypse world, I got it. We’re almost ready, we just need some of your grace to complete the spell and open the rift.”

Cas nodded again. “Good. I suggest we should take some ingredients with us, just in case we can’t find the stone within twenty-four hours. Then we can also open up the rift from the Apocalypse world.”

“Brilliant idea, Cas, I’ll get the stuff together,” Sam added excitedly. “Jack, you wanna help me?”

So while Sam and Jack packed their stuff together, and Samandriel carefully read through the pages of the lore again, Dean thought that this was a good time to speak to Cas. Alone.

“Cas, shall we extract your grace in the meantime? I think we still have some of these syringes lying around somewhere…” Dean tried not to sound too nervous as he stood up.

“Alright, Dean.” Castiel answered and followed Dean to the bathroom.

 

***

 

The big mirror reflected their faces and upper bodies unpretentiously, however it captured their figures in a soft light, which made their wrinkles almost disappear. Castiel looked into his own face, curiously. Was there such a difference between his angel and archangel self that it had an impact on his vessel? But no, he looked the same as far as he could tell. Next to him, Dean rummaged in the drawer, searching for the syringes, but Cas could feel that Dean’s brain was working at full speed; like he wanted to say something important and it cost him all of his courage to even begin.

“Cas, I… Ah, here’s the nasty thing!” With a victorious smile, Dean held up a large, dangerous-looking syringe. There was a little awkward silence, as Dean looked to Cas. He let his hand down. “Cas, I was wondering… if you remember our talk. I mean, before you… before God zapped you to Heaven.”

Cas tilted his head, as he answered to Dean’s reflection in the mirror. “I’m very sorry Dean, but to be honest… I don’t remember it exactly. The only thing I know is that it was a dangerous conversation and that’s why my father summoned me.”

“A _dangerous_ conversation? Is that what he told you? What the actual fuck!” Dean cursed. “Cas, I swear, I just wanted to apologize to you, I wanted to explain things, I – “

“Dean, please. You can explain this to me when our mission is done. We have no time to waste.”

“But this is no waste of time, Cas, this is important to me, to… us! I need you to- Hey! What are you doing, Cas?!?”

Dean almost choked on his own words as Cas let his trench coat and jacket slip from his shoulders to the bathroom floor and began to unbutton his shirt.

Cas’ facial expression didn’t really change as he said: “You can extract my grace now. The most powerful grace can be taken from between the shoulder blades; it’s the spot where my wings would be if I’d let them grow out.”

Dean had a million questions, but everything he could do was to stare. There was this angel he known for since 10 years now, who suddenly turned into a freakin’ archangel, whose true form was simply _mind blowing_ , who was about to undress right here, in front of him. It would truly be a lie if he’d say he never visualized this before.

And suddenly Dean Winchester was absolutely sure. It hit him like a punch to the chest. Let him gasp.

He _loved_ this angel.

He loved Castiel for being who he was: kind, mysterious, loyal, brave. He loved his unpredictable behavior, his will, his persistence, his strength.

And he wanted him. Oh, _Jesus Christ,_ he desired Castiel in a way he could not even imagine until now. But the reaction of his body was unequivocal. Dean swallowed hard.

Cas’ shirt was now on the floor as well and he stood there, obviously in a waiting position for Dean to begin with the extraction. His bare chest rose and fell with every breath.

“Okay, Cas, turn around.” Dean somehow managed to say throughout his nervousness. The angel turned his back to Dean and the hunter could take a look at the perfectly formed muscles, the broad shoulders, the dimples of Venus on the lower back… The skin around his shoulder blades was reddened and slightly raised, like marks of scratches.

Dean wondered for the first time in his life if it was actually comfortable for an angel to be wrapped by a human vessel. What if it itched or even hurt? Maybe it felt like wearing too small shoes or too tight pants, squeezing everything. Since he saw Cas in his overwhelming true form, he sometimes thought of him like a wild bird, trapped inside a cage. Still able to move his wings, but not to fly at all. He wanted to ask Cas about so many things, but he was too afraid to be rejected again.

So Dean tightened his grip around the syringe and let his other hand hover over Castiel’s skin. The angel twitched a little bit. “I haven’t even touched you yet Cas, relax…”

“I know Dean, it’s just… I can feel you even when you’re not touching me. I can feel you within my aura… and I… I can feel your mental touch.”

“Okay, Cas… whatever you mean by that… I have to touch you now for real, so uh, are you ready?”

“Yes, I am. Remember, between the shoulder blades.”

And then, Dean touched the archangel’s skin, touched Castiel’s body – even it was just a vessel. It almost tore the ground from under his feet, because he was aware of the incredible strength hidden underneath this human flesh. Dean could feel grace pulsating under his fingertips. Maybe it was a hallucination, but his eyes definitely saw the true form of the celestial creature spreading his wings wide and even wider, filling the room entirely. Bluish shimmer and sparkling light flooded his heart with a pleasant heat.

Oh, just one second longer…

But Dean knew his task, so he positioned the syringe and carefully pricked the skin. As he pulled the piston, Castiel’s grace appeared inside the glass tube. Dean had seen archangel grace before, but he never took a closer look. Now he saw the swirling substance with new eyes, because it was _Cas_ ’ grace. It shone so bright, in all different shades of blue, but mostly a nice dark blue. Dean could even see some golden particles.

He pulled the needle out of the angel’s back. “It’s done, Cas, I have it.”

“Thank you, Dean. Now we can finish the spell.” Dean couldn’t even react as fast, as Cas snapped his fingers and was completely dressed again, already heading to the door.

Almost as if he was _running_ _away_ from Dean, who was still standing there, with the grace in his shaky hands, the light of the pale light bulb casting shadows on his face. The heavenly warmth lingered in the room for some seconds until it felt clammy and cold again. And Dean realized sadly, that Cas never looked him in the eyes directly. He only talked to his reflection in the mirror.

 

_***_

_As your guardian I was instructed well_  
_To make sense of God’s love in these fires of hell_  
_No I don’t expect you to understand_  
_Just to live what little life your broken heart can_

 _Maybe your light is a seed_  
_And the darkness the dirt_  
_In spite of the uneven odds_  
_Beauty lifts from the earth_  
_From the earth_

_***_

 

With a loud fizzle, the rift appeared in front of them. It stretched from the floor in the library to the ceiling, glowing in its characteristic yellow and red shades.

“Woah.” Jack was astonished. “It never looked so solid and strong before!”

Samandriel put a backpack on his shoulders. “Yes, Castiel’s grace is much more intense than Lucifer’s or Gabriel’s now. He just came directly from heaven, so it is still at full energy. The rift should hold even longer than twenty-four hours.” the angel guessed.

“Alright then, let’s go” said Dean. Followed by Sam, Jack, Samandriel and Castiel, he slipped through the gate to another reality.

 

***

 

At first sight, the Apocalypse world looked just as they remembered it. They landed right between the strangely shaped obelisks; the dry ground was covered with ashes and dirt. Jack looked up in the sky, blinking in the sun. Now _that_ was a difference. He couldn’t think of a single sunny day, while he was trapped here. The sky was clear and azure, welcoming them to…

“ _Hell_. Welcome to the middle of the battleground. Actually not the best place to show up.” Dean said vigilantly. “Prepare for those angel-dicks attacking us.”

But everything around them was peaceful and quiet. Even birds twittered in the distance. Jack could see the familiar wooded hills, where they used to camp. The air was pretty fresh, it must be spring, he could tell by the light green color of the trees.

Sam turned to Castiel. “Hey, Cas, can you sense anything? Where are all the angels?” Cas closed his eyes shortly, just to – all of a sudden - open them up wide again as he heard a well-known swoosh of feathers.

“Well, well, well. If those aren’t my lovely friends from another world. I really didn’t expect to see you again so soon. What a nice surprise.”

Abruptly, they all turned around. The sight of the man, veiled in clouds of ashes, let Dean’s lungs almost collapse. “ _YOU_! Damn, I should have known it. We should have killed you when we had the chance.” Dean stepped forward, in front of the squad, protecting them if necessary.

“Dean. Always acting the hero. You look good. Missed me?” The man laughed devilish. Sam snapped out of his shock and hissed:

“Michael.”

The archangel seemed to possess a similar vessel like the one he used before Dean let him in. The man was tall, with tanned skin and he wore a red, heavy coat and a white linen shirt with matching pants underneath. His hair was black and curled, down to his shoulders.

“You must be very brave or very foolish to come here again. I want nothing more than to punish you for your disobedience. But I’m too curious… I sensed your presence the moment you appeared on the surface of my world, you carry a great force with you. I want to – “

Michael’s eyes widened, as Castiel pushed his way past Dean and built himself up in front of the other archangel. “This is not _your_ world, Michael. It belongs to the people and our father; and even though he is not present in this very moment, you have no right to claim it for yourself. You are the highest of the archangels, you should know better.” Cas’ deep voice was like an earthquake, rolling through his body. His grace welled up and let his eyes glow in dangerous blue.

“Castiel. It’s you. I’m really surprised. You look… stronger… purified even.” Michael swallowed, looked at ground, then sighed. “You were with _him_. He altered your body to its original state.”

“Yes, indeed. That’s why you should know that I am stronger than you now. Now let us pass, we have an important task to fulfill.”

A little smirk played around Michael’s lips. “Oh Cassy, I always wondered why your alter-ego even got in this unspeakable situation… becoming a common angel.” He spit out the last words contemptuously, glancing at Samandriel.

“What did he offer you that you accepted this? I really want to know. Did you annoy him _that_ much? Or… could it be even possible… did you surrender yourself for– “

The boys would never know what else Michael wanted to say, because in the next second, a fist hit him in his angelic face. Hard. He stumbled backward, holding his nose, dark blood dripped from his fingers. But Michael was a soldier, so he overcame the little shock in an instant and attacked Castiel just as hard, angel blade drawn.

Dean was not sure if he should turn away or cheer on Cas to hit the bastard even harder. Option three would have been to go in between and tell them to stop their stupid fight. But Dean admitted, that would be the worst idea.

A fight between archangels was a dirty affair. They both had their angel blades in use, inflicting wounds on each other. The blades could not kill them, but they acted like they were fighting for their lives. As Michael managed to cut a wound on Castiel’s back, the angel in the trench coat screamed intensely. Dean’s heart skipped a beat. Immediately, he ran towards Cas to help him, but he was pushed back by an invisible barrier. Castiel was breathing heavily, eyes closed, as a high whirring sound filled the air around them.

Then it happened.

Grace broke free and swirled around Cas’ kneeling body, quickly manifesting molecules formed feathers, wings and the silhouette of the divine being.

Michael looked up to Castiel, glued to the ground. Dean didn’t realize until now, that Michael brought his own wings into the visible dimension as well, but his grace wouldn’t let him do the things Cas' could do.

Castiel rose higher and higher, spreading his beautiful wings and let them rustle through the air. That sound caused goosebumps on Dean’s skin.

Michael moved his six wings too; they were equally big and snow white, silvery shimmering but ultimately just shadows compared to Castiel’s black and golden feathered ones.

“How are you doing this?!” Michael yelled against the roaring hurricane that twelve archangel-wings were causing.

Castiel’s voice chanted across the plains. “ _Stop fighting me now, brother. God himself appointed a task to me. I can do it with or without your help. But if you should try to harm my friends, I will end you. You have my word about that.”_

Maybe Michael understood, that in his actual state, he had no chance against Cas. Or he was just too curious about the task of his forsaken father. However, he let his wings disappear, calmed down, and lowered his blade.

Castiel watched carefully what the other archangel was doing before he dimmed his grace. Wings faded away and then they saw him standing in the middle of the field, the last flash of his halo briefly illuminated his dark hair and then it was gone too.

Jack was the first to reach Cas. “Are you okay, Castiel? He hurt your back – that wound doesn’t look good.” The trench coat was utterly torn on the back, blood stains scattered all over his body.

“I’m alright, Jack, thank you. The wound is already closed. Don’t worry.” He gave Jack a smile.

Nobody paid any attention to Michael, so Dean put this on his to-do-list. “Can’t say I’m not happy to see you being punched down for once. You ass.”

Michael rolled his eyes. “Yeah, I got it. Maybe I even deserved it. Let’s say, we didn’t have a very good start. But you have to know that I have changed. Believe it or not, I’m trying to build this world up again. And now tell me: What are you doing here? What is this task of God you speak of?”

Cas took the word. “We need to find the so-called sacred stones. A cosmic entity threatens our world, well, in fact, _every_ world in the universe. Even this one.” he said emphatically. “We are the only ones who can stop it, it’s infiltrating our Heaven. I don’t expect you to help us, but– “

“Oh no. For heaven’s sake. You’re talking about the Empty.”

And for the first time since they knew this Michael, they saw nothing but fear and naked horror in the eyes of the firstborn archangel.

 

 ***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey – thank you so much for reading! ^^  
> And I apologize for treating Dean like that… I can’t believe I’m doing this to him. :P
> 
> I always love to hear what you think and appreciate your oppinion and comments! :D
> 
> If you wanna find me on tumblr, I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


	6. Mars II - [in the embers]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Surprisingly, the Apocalypse World has changed, and unexpectedly the archangel Michael wants to help them.  
> After some explanations, they head to the Temple of Flames to find the first stone - which is necessary to complete the Trinity Sword: The only weapon that can kill the Void.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey out there my friends, I’m so sorry to come up so late - this chapter took me so long! (And life came in between haha). And I apologize in advance that it is a very long chapter. But I wanted to put most of this storyline in the Mars-chapter, so here we go.
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH - everyone who is reading and enjoying my little fic, you are awesome! I feel so grateful and happy when I see your kudos and lovely comments – it’s so motivating! :D
> 
> Dear [Jackdaw816](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816), you are a wonderful beta-reader, and I want to thank you so much for taking your time! ^^
> 
> Well then, let’s go.  
> Again, the text at the beginning is from the song “Mars” by Sleeping At Last, interlude and chapter-additive from the song “In the Embers” by Sleeping At Last.

Chapter 6 **\- MARS II** [in the embers]

* * *

 ***

_Though time is ruthless_

_It showed us kindness in the end_

_By slowing down enough_

_A second chance to make amends_

_As life replayed, we heard a voice proclaim_

_Lay your weapons down_

_They’re calling off the war_

_On account of losing track_

_Of what we’re fighting for_

***

 

 

They followed Michael to his ‘headquarters’ – as he called it – a giant cathedral, standing lonely on the other end of the battlefield. Although they still weren’t really sure if they could trust Michael, there was some proof that he was telling the truth about his plan to rebuild this world.

Stalks of grass peeped out of the ashes, and as Jack noticed before, birds and insects were singing and humming all around them. He could even see a little squirrel fleeing to a nearby tree. The spring rolled over the landscape and slowly filled the plain with _life_ again. The signs of the war had been removed, no trash or rusty objects strewn around.

The cathedral was in a good condition, the interior clean and intact. Chairs and tables overloaded with all kinds of stuff filled the great hall. Statues were untouched, watching the hustle and bustle with their stone eyes. Angels and humans hurried around, carrying boxes, cleaning up things, organizing papers and books and even speaking through a 1960’s telephone.

“Haven’t you guys reinvented mobile phones yet?” Dean asked amused. Michael raised an eyebrow.

“Well, we’ve just repaired the whole electricity network, and now the most important thing is to rebuild villages and provide food. The angels healed most of the humans, but we can do nothing against hunger.” The archangel spoke like a leader, but Cas was still wondering where this sudden change of mind came from.

Michael guided them to a silent room in the lateral nave, the colorful mosaic glass windows gave the room a sacred, soothing touch.

“Alright, now we can talk about your task,” Michael advised and sat down on a wooden stool. “You really want to try to kill the Empty. That’s really something. I haven’t heard of this entity since the creation of the worlds. To be honest with you… I hoped never to hear about it again. But here you are, looking for the stones.”

“Yes, this is why we are here,” Castiel said formally. “I have to say, I didn’t expect you to know about this at all. Chuck somehow spoke of it like it is a big mystery.”

“Chuck? Please don’t tell me he’s calling himself ‘ _Chuck_ ’ these days.” Michael said, rolling his eyes to the stone ceiling. Castiel cleared his throat.

“I’m afraid he does so. But anyway, he told me that there is only one weapon to kill the Empty: The Trinity-Sword. And to complete it, the three sacred stones must be inserted. The stone of fire should be hidden in this world, more precisely in a place called the ‘Tower of Flames’.”

“Ah, the sword. I know about it and the stones as well. It’s a long-forgotten weapon. Incredibly old. And the legendary Tower Of Flames. Yes, I know this place. Humans have been guarding it since the beginning. It’s an old desert-castle in the middle of nowhere. Warded with powerful sigils. You can’t just fly in there.” Michael explained and rested his elbows on his knees.

“The sigils… you told us about that.” Sam nodded and turned to Cas.  “Maybe you can bring us as close as possible and we walk the rest of the way without you. And what about the sage? The lore indicated, his blood is needed to enter the temple. Shouldn’t we find him - or her first?” The younger Winchester suggested.

Michael grinned widely. “Well, I think this is your smallest problem. He’s sitting right in front of you.”

Castiel needed a moment to process this statement.

“What – _YOU_? You’re possessing such an important individual? Couldn’t you find another vessel?” he stood up and walked towards Michael, who raised from his chair as well.

“Calm down, mighty Cas. This vessel – his name is Benjamin Clearwater. He’s the legacy of an old family of hunters. After your witch pushed me through the rift without a body, his aura was the brightest one I could sense. I needed a vessel immediately… I’ve been on earth too long to linger in this nebulous state, and I was too long gone from heaven to materialize my true form. So I found Benjamin, and he said ‘yes’.”

Cas glared at him. “I can’t believe it… I can’t believe our success depends on you. Why do you want to help us at all? I require an explanation now.” He demanded.

“What did our father tell you about the Empty, Castiel?” Michael sighed and let himself fall back onto the chair. “Did he tell you the original story? Or just the nice flowery one he used to tell new-born angels?”

Michael’s expression was very serious now, he looked up to Castiel who was still standing. Dean, Sam, Jack, and Samandriel were sitting on motley chairs and stools, the two archangels faced each other under a high window. The scene had something of a long overdue council of archangels, where forgotten secrets are exchanged. The tense air in the room almost felt tangible.

Castiel had to be honest. “He hadn’t disclosed that much about the Empty. Mainly, he told me about the stone and the sages…”

Michael nodded. “Ah, of course. I understand. Our dear father hasn’t told you the whole truth. Sit down, brother. This might be a longer story.”

 

***

 

“To understand it all entirely,” Michael began, “you have to know one fundamental thing first: In the very beginning, the dawn of days, angels _could not die_. It was just like that. We were God’s perfect creation; and the bright dome we called ‘Heaven’ was a peaceful place, full of joy.

Until of course one day, the Almighty got bored, or tired - whatever – of only dealing with angels… He wanted to take a step further: Creating worlds. Other _realities_ even. He longed to see in which way small decisions have consequences for whole generations. He had a perfect plan in his mind.

But except Heaven, there was… nothing. Emptiness. A void so definite, no divine light could ever penetrate it. God could not use his powers beyond his creation. Believe me, he tried and tried… Yet nothing happened. Nothing but one thing. He woke it up - the unimaginably ancient entity.

It had been awakened from an eternal sleep and it was _furious_. I think the only reason it didn’t wipe us out then was because it sensed something strong. Something it didn’t know until then… powerful, shining lights in the dark. Grace.

You have to imagine, this abomination was agitated… dastardly, hideous and evil to the core. Not ready to share its realm, it ensnared God in a conversation. The treacherous entity offered God a deal.

From that day on, he was able to create worlds, galaxies… everything he wanted - out of nothing. Unfolding his exuberant fantasy.”

Michael made a sweeping gesture.

“Of course, the Empty wanted something in return. It demanded _angels_. It could not stand our very existence – the creatures of light. Couldn’t bear its greed and jealousy. It wanted to see the angels dead, our grace to be burned and extinguished forever. Slowly.

But remember, there was no way to kill angels. Until… our _own_ _father_ and that beast _invented_ a way to kill angels.”

Samandriel broke the stifling stillness with a shocked wheeze.

Michael kept talking. “This was the time when the angel-blades were forged. They are essentially made of silver, but the core contains dark, unholy substances, coming from the eternal shadow itself. God tried to keep it all in secret, but I knew him. I knew that something was going on.

I was the ‘ _first_ ’ version of Michael that he created. I got him talking… And he explained. For ages, I was the only one who ever knew about this disastrous deal. The reason why we die… and where we’re going when we do so.

This is such a long, long time ago… It got all a little blurry…

However, since that doomed day, the Empty gets the dead angels.”

 

Absolute silence filled the room. Michael’s face remained expressionless as he let the words sink. During Michael’s explanation, Castiel eventually sat down and looked concerned and aghast now. It was all so obscure… so deadlocked. So damn frustrating. Stupid deals have been made since the dawn of days, but _this_ outlandish revelation was something Cas did not expect to hear.

He shook his head in disbelief, but deep inside him, he knew it was true. This is the only reasonable explanation why a cosmic entity like the Empty should even give a damn about them. Cas looked to the boys and Samandriel. The younger angel had tears in his eyes. He looked desperate and turned his gaze to Castiel.

“When I died,” Samandriel swallowed up the tears, “I saw it for a short moment. I remember it clearly now. It fed… on my grace.” He closed his eyes and a shiver went through his body. “It lasted just an instant, but it let me feel it like it were hours. The creature enjoyed it… it hurt like hell and it was… disgusting, worse than any torture I had to endure.”

“Yes, the Empty draws power from the dead angels’ grace. It got stronger and stronger over the centuries.” Michael added, then he continued:

“When the angel blades were scattered all over the earth, heaven and hell, the great wars began… And everything we know was set in motion. Apocalypses are always a blood bath. Countless angels died. And history repeated itself, over and over again… on so many different worlds, all over the universe. God does his little experiments and the Empty gets the waste - until today.

And _Chuck_ left _uncountable_ worlds behind. He abandoned them all. Planets died, suns imploded, stars vanished, whole galaxies collapsed.

But _your_ Earth… your world is different.

I could see that when I was there. I was overwhelmed. It’s filled with so much passion and love, so many different life forms, ecosystems, and colors.

It really means a lot to the old man, and he must have so much faith in you. He cares about your souls, and he cares about his angels there, I could feel it in every molecule. His mere presence lingers there. Don’t you feel in the wind? Taste it in the water? _He never really left_ _you_.

It makes me a little bit jealous I have to say, but to be honest, I’m beyond this feeling now. I accept that we all have to fight our own wars. And in this world here – the ‘Apocalypse World’ as you call it – I want to make it better. Maybe God is absent, but I have the ability to pull the planet out of the dirt. After all, I’m Michael – the one ‘ _who is like God’_.

So yes - I’m not done here yet, absolutely not ready for the Empty to devour us all. And this is why I decided to help you.”

Michael concluded with an open-arms-gesture and looked into their petrified faces.

 

***

 

Although Dean was affected like everyone else, he could not hold the curses in. “Holy fucking shit. Seems like God is a real dick. Not that I’m surprised. I mean, why not sell the lives of his own creations for a little play round in the sandbox of the universe? This is insane.” He wiped over his eyes.

“Well…,” Sam cleared his throat, “So that’s some big news. B-but, when it is true what you say, Michael… can we even trust Chuck then?”

“No, we can’t,” Michael said seriously. “It could be one of his games again. But I know one thing for sure. He wouldn’t have given you the Trinity-Sword if this wouldn’t be the end of everything. This weapon is Heaven’s most _top-secret_ war-item. I think at this moment, we have one thing in common with him: Like everyone else, he is afraid to die.”

Castiel agreed. “That is right, we don’t have another chance but to lay our trust in Chuck… and the sword. I don’t think we have much time left. Michael, can you lead us to the Tower?”

“I can. We should be able to fly into the desert, approximately three miles away from the temple.” Michael affirmed.

Dean jumped up from his seat and proclaimed: “Alright then, what are we waiting for? Come on, get the stuff together and then let’s go. Too bad we don’t have Baby here… I just _hate_ flying.”

Castiel looked in his direction, a little offended. “Then you never flew _for real_ , Dean.”

Dean smirked at the angel. “Maybe you wanna show me then, angel?”

As Cas immediately turned away, slightly confused, Sam intervened quickly. “Well then! Samandriel, can you take Jack? And I’ll go with Michael if that’s okay with you?” The archangel nodded. “And Cas can give Dean some flying lessons.”

“We don’t have time for flying lessons, Sam, we-”

“Cas, it was just a joke.” Sam interrupted. “Dean is right, let’s go now.”

So they gripped each other tightly; Sam at Michael’s elbow, Jack and Samandriel by their hands, and Cas touched Dean’s shoulder. Even through the jacket, Castiel could feel the mark of his own handprint he burned on Dean’s skin years ago. Unremovable. Irresistible. It felt so close now…

A swoosh of feathers and an instant later, the room inside the cathedral was empty.

 

_***  
_

_Our legacies hide_  
_In the embers_  
_May our stories catch fire_  
_And burn bright enough_  
_To catch God's eye_

 _Like fireworks_  
_We pull apart the dark_  
_Compete against the stars_  
_With all of our hearts_  
_Till our temporary brilliance turns to ash_  
_We pull apart the darkness while we can_

_***_

The wind was howling incredibly loud. This was the first thing Dean noticed. The flight only took a few seconds, but he felt sick already. On wobbly feet, he found himself standing on sandy soil, the wind shot grains of sand in their faces and it hurt like nasty little needle stitches.

“Nice ride, Cas… but next time I want to buckle up, okay?” Dean’s stomach was definitely not made for these kinds of trips. Sam and Jack, on the other hand, didn’t look affected at all. They were all holding up their arms to protect their eyes from the sandstorm.

Michael pointed in a direction. “Here we are. Do you see it over there? The temple is not far away now. But I’m afraid from here you have to go on alone, I can feel the warding even at this distance.”

“Yes, I can feel it too.” Castiel acknowledged. “You have to destroy the sigils immediately when you reach the temple, so we can follow you.”

Sam hesitated. “What about the sage - Benjamin? Shouldn’t he come with us? Maybe we need his blood to enter the tower?”

“The sigils are usually applied on the outside walls. So it won’t be necessary for me to possess another vessel in the meantime.” Michael winked at Dean.

“Over my dead body, dumbass.” Dean snorted. “Let’s go, Sammy. We handle this. Jack, what about you? Does the warding affect you too?”

Jack couldn’t feel any difference. “No, I’m coming with you.”

 

***

 

The brothers and Jack walked deeper into this abnormal sandstorm, the sun shining mercilessly  even through the dust. They had a few bottles of water with them, and they stopped every twenty minutes to drink. In the distance, they saw the silhouette of a high tower.

The closer they came, the more they realized why it was called the “Tower of Flames”. It was formed like a giant licking flame, stretched up high in the desert sky. Finally, the wind diminished to a low breeze, they had stumbled into the unnatural eye of the storm.

“Must be only half a mile now!” Sam guessed and handed Dean and Jack the water bottles. Dean took a long sip.

“Let’s hope so, I think I’ve got sand everywhere. And I mean _everywhere_ , Sammy. Those damn sigils… The angels just could have flown us in…”

Jack laughed. “I thought you don’t like flying, Dean!”

“Well, actually it’s not so bad. I think I’m getting used to it…” Dean ruminated and gave the bottle back to Sam who looked him straight in the eyes.

“Dean, have you spoken to Cas yet? I mean, you know… about your feelings?”

His older brother shook his head. “Nope. It’s not like there was much time lately, as you might have noticed. Time to save the world for the 125th time, or what?” Dean said sarcastically and trampled further in the direction of the tower. Sam and Jack shared a suggestive look.

 

***

 

“Perfect, this was the last sigil!” Jack announced proudly. They spent the last hour searching for sigils and deactivating them. The walls of the tower were made of dark stone and the joints glowed of a strange, dark red color first, but with every sigil they eliminated, the substance began to fluoresce brighter until it really looked like there where flames dancing right behind the stones.

“Woah, Cas!” Dean gasped as Castiel appeared out of nowhere just inches away from him.

Samandriel landed next to Jack. “Well done. Though it took you an eternity.”

“Hey, you wanna complain? Nice to see you too!” Jack said and put his arms on his sides. Samandriel rolled his eyes, but then they smiled at each other like they had just won a marathon.

Michael was already scanning the walls carefully. “Very well, now we just have to find the entrance… Let me see.”

Somehow the tower seemed to sense the presence of Benjamin Clearwater’s blood, because all of a sudden, the earth began to shake. With a rumbling noise, the stones crashed down and a big portal materialized in front of them.

Michael stepped closer and studied a little stone bowl which protruded out of the wall. The archangel drew his angel blade.

“I believe the blood of the sage is needed here to unlock the door.” He held his hand over the bowl and cut his wrist with the silver weapon. Red blood rushed out of his vein and spilled over the dry stone.

It turned out that Michael was right. The portal swung open like magic, revealing a long, dark corridor.

None of them hesitated as they entered the ancient building. Their steps echoed in the dim and dusty tunnel. Suddenly, dozens of torches burst into flames, illuminating the darkness. What they saw was indeed a breathtaking sight.

The passageway ended in a colossal hall. Wide columns lined the hall; they stretched endlessly up to the ceiling which was barely visible. Large iron bowls filled with crackling fires were placed between every column.

At the opposite end of the hall, they could see a gigantic statue of an angel, wings spread wide at both sides. The stone feathers filled the whole width of the hall. It was impressive, no doubt about that.

They continued on their way to the angel statue. At the angel’s feet, there was some kind of altar and a light red shimmer caught their attention. It was clear, hat this must be the target of their mission: the Stone of Fire.

Slowly but surely, Dean began to wonder why everything was so quiet. No creepy welcoming committee or any traps that should stop them. It was just... too easy.

As if the damn temple had read his thoughts, they suddenly heard a silent ripple sound and a trickle of some liquid crossed their path in a small depression.

"Oh no... that's holy oil..." warned Samandriel.

Castiel shouted, "Stop! Don’t go further!" and grabbed Dean’s collar to keep him from climbing over the stream. Not a second too early. Because a moment later, they barely trusted their eyes. A huge wall of flames roared up right in front of them. Enormous heat hit their bodies. The flames reached to the ceiling, blazing mercilessly.

"How should we ever pass these fires?" Jack gasped helplessly.

Michael smirked. "Oh, sweet child. This fire may stop angels, but surely no archangel coming right from Heaven... Castiel?"

Castiel nodded confidently. "Let's see. I’ll try it."

He stepped forward until he stood alone in front of the flames. The blaze of the fire and the smoke burned in Dean's eyes, but he did not take his eyes off Castiel. Not for a second.

The angel opened his palms and closed his eyes in concentration. Creating water was not an easy task - even for an archangel. But Castiel could not think of another way to fight those flames. Like in slow motion, small drops of water formed from his hands, steadily rising from his palms and merging above him into an ever-expanding sphere.

While the water ball swelled, tiny waves began to cover the surface. Through the crystal clear water, they could still see the flames. As the sphere almost reached the ceiling, Castiel decided it was enough. He raised his arms higher and the water followed his movement. Then he let the water globe slosh on the flames and, accompanied by steam and a loud hissing, the water splashed on the floor and extinguished the flames.

Dean was amazed. Castiel had just created _water_. Out of nothing. He didn’t know that angels were able to do that. He commanded his feet to walk and stepped behind Castiel, putting a hand on his shoulder. The angel breathed heavily.

“Are you okay, Cas? Don’t you use up your mojo already on the first operation! Ha, but you did it, buddy! Flames are gone!” Dean beamed and looked into Castiel’s face.

At least he tried to. Because Cas still looked straight ahead, avoiding Dean’s gaze. He just affirmed, “I’m alright, Dean. Let’s go get the stone.” and released himself from Dean’s grip by simply walking away. His trench coat fluttered behind him.

 

***

 

Dean stood there, feeling like an annoying insect. This was proof enough. Time to confront this heavenly coward. What the hell is even wrong with him? Dean couldn’t think of anything he had done wrong. _Very sorry_ that one could be a _little_ stunned when your best friend… or whatever – suddenly shows up as a hyper-powered, glowing, winged dude. _Pah!_

Dean thought of the last hours. Did Cas really never look him straight in the eyes?

As he appeared like a shining star above the lake, telling them about God’s _brilliantly sophisticated_ plan to destroy the Empty? Nope.

As they returned to the bunker, preparing to take a rollercoaster ride to this shitty world again? Nah.

As they were – finally - alone in the bathroom, extracting grace? This dork talked to the damn mirror, what the fuck.

The hunter realized: He couldn’t stand it any longer. He needed these eyes to look at him. And he needed to look into _them_ and knowing that everything is okay. Okay between Cas and him. He was confused. And angry.

He had _enough_ of this awkward little game.

 

***

 

“DAMMIT, CAS! _Would you just look at me at once?_!”

He roared louder than he actually wanted. The shout echoed from the temple walls like the never-ending outro of a song.

_At once at once at once_

Sam and the others suddenly froze in their movement. Just like everything else. The big fires in the bowls strangely looked like realistic paintings. “What the…” Dean mumbled as he looked around. He could even see a little fly frozen in the air beside him.

Castiel stopped walking and slowly turned his head, so Dean could see his profile. Obviously, he was the reason for this time-stopping phenomenon.

The statue in the background still spread its wings majestically, framing Cas like in a portrait. Dean’s heart throbbed so loud, he heard it pounding in his ears.

“Please,“ he said, quieter this time, “tell me what’s on your mind. I can see that something is bothering you. Speak to me like you always did.” Dean took a few desperate steps in Cas’ direction.

“And for Christ’s sake, look at me. I don’t know what’s going on, but something has changed. And I’m not talking about the fact that you came back as an _archangel_. Why did Chuck turn you into a normal angel then? I need answers, and I won’t stop asking until you give them to me. I know about your deal with the Empty. I just don’t accept that you shall be unhappy for the rest of your life. This is the only reason I’m helping here, Cas. But I need you to talk to me about these things.”

Still, Cas wouldn’t look at him directly. He looked to the floor, dropping his shoulders.

“Dean… I am so sorry…” he said sincerely. “But I… I just can’t. Not yet. I fear the end of the world, just like we all do. We have to complete the sword and kill the Empty. You have to trust me. This is everything that counts right now.”

 

Of course, it wasn’t.

Castiel wanted nothing more than to drown in Dean’s emerald eyes, hold him, comfort him. Giving him the attention that he deserves. But he could not let his guard down. Although it almost broke his heart, he could not risk summoning the Empty, just because he was too weak to resist. Too much was at stake. When he was gone, there would be no one left to use the sword. It was _essential_ to stay alive until… they’re ready.

However, Cas could not ignore the reaction of his innermost core. Could it be that Dean Winchester did actually care about him more than he thought? Oh, he wanted to feel happiness, and he wanted to be with Dean. In every possible way. And for this, he needed to destroy this entity. So at the end of the day, this was some kind of personal mission. But that was alright.

 

***

 

Deep in a far, long forgotten corner of the universe, where space and time had no meaning and where no glimpse of starlight ever had arrived, the eldest being stirred in the perfect dark.

_Not much longer, little happy angel…_

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Phew, that was a lot of explanation! :P I just hope it doesn't get too confusing, haha.  
> Thank you so much for reading guys! :-) If you like what you read feel welcome to share your oppinion with me! I always appreciate your feedback. ^^
> 
> Feel free to say hello on tumblr as well, I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


	7. Starless

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castel finally picks up the Stone of Fire and they’re one step closer to complete the Trinity-Sword – the weapon that can kill the Empty.  
> They return to the bunker to rest and to prepare for the next trip.  
> Dean tries to ignore Cas’ rejections, but he can’t really run from his nightmares.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay guys, after the last chapter, which was a little intense and full of explanations, I bring on a “lighter” chapter now! ;-) (okay, there _might be_ some revelations as well…)  
> Special thanks to BENKA79 and ICEMAN12 for all your lovely comments on every chapter since I began this fic… It keeps me going guys! And of course **everyone** who left kudos and comments you make my day! Everyone who reads this fic and enjoys it: THANK YOU so much! You rock!
> 
> [Jackdaw816](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816), you are truly my star here, thank you so much for beta-reading – and for looking deep into Sam’s eyes. ;-)
> 
> Well then, let’s see what happens to our petrified squad!  
> The text at the beginning is taken from the song “Starless” by Crossfade. I heard this song, and somehow Dean’s feelings rushed over me, so I decided to use it. :)

Chapter 7 **\- STARLESS**

* * *

***

_If only you could watch me fall_

_I cannot feel it anymore_

_The soul you cut, the soul you adore_

_Cannot feel you anymore_

_Cause you've run through me with the destructive force_

_I think somehow I gotta see it straight_

_But I cannot get through to you_

_Somehow I feel like I'm starless_

_I'm ready to fade now_

_And how I feel like I'm starless_

_I'm hopeless and grayed out_

***

 

Castiel reached out his hand to touch the stone. Due to its color, he suspected it to be some kind of ruby. It glowed in a light red, coming from the inside of the stone, as if there were little flames inside which gave the mineral an ever-changing hue, depending on the viewing angle.

As Cas’ fingers touched the stone, the angel almost expected it to be hot, like coal, heated by fire. But it was cool and smoothly polished, a treasure of inestimable value, for sure. He could see his eyes reflecting on the surface.

His gaze lingered on the luminous artifact for some seconds, then he slid it into a little black velvet bag that he had found in the bunker. He thought that it may be useful to transport the fragile gemstones.

With a last look up to the giant angel statue, Castiel turned around and walked back to the others. They were still petrified, standing there like some strange stony guard.

Sam looked surprised, Samandriel confused, Jack afraid, and the archangel Michael amused. But they were all looking in Dean’s direction, who was standing some steps in front of them, frozen too. And Dean, his eyes focused on the ground, looked just sad.

Well, this was no wonder. Cas just told him very sternly that he can not explain certain things now. The older Winchester wanted to know why Chuck turned him into a common angel back then. Why he didn’t dare to look Dean straight in the eyes. The angel knew that he would not immediately get hit by a flash of happiness by just looking into the stunning green but… since he was an archangel again - since he was in his true form again - he could feel the bond between them even stronger. It was so intense, almost _unbearable_. Apart from this, his powers, his mission, and his intentions, everything felt right. He felt truly like himself and has no doubts of who he was. And what he wanted.

But he was afraid he would not be able to hold back his own feelings if he risked a look in Dean's eyes. They were always filled with all kinds of emotions. His inner core would burst open and let all the unsaid words out at once. Besides, when he would look into Dean’s eyes, he would be able to see his soul. Look right through it.

The mere idea, that most likely he would not get to see the same affection… it would break him. He didn’t know what this sensations could do to him… but he knew one thing: An emotionally wrecked archangel is the last thing the world needed now.

He stepped to Dean until he stood right in front of him. Then Castiel gently took his face between his palms and placed a kiss on the hunter’s forehead. “I’m so sorry, Dean. We will talk about it when it’s all over. I promise.”

With a snap of his fingers, Cas released them all from the rigidity. They stumbled to find balance and Sam hissed: “Dean!”, just to realize that all of a sudden, the scene had completely changed. Sam quickly looked around to assess the situation, but he couldn’t see any danger. Jack and Samandriel looked confused either, but didn’t say a word.

Michael smirked knowingly and clapped his hands: “Well done brother, I see you got the stone? Even without our annoying comments, huh?” He winked at Cas.

“What was that? I feel like time stood still for a while… Did we miss something? What happened?”, Sam wanted to know and addressed Castiel.

His brother answered instead: “Oh, nothing special. Just a little interruption of time to give Cas a chance to bring on his real point of view. And the order of his priorities. _So_ glad to know it now.” Dean glared at Cas, fists clenched.

“Anyway, let’s get the hell out of this musty oven. Alfie – “ Dean made a waving gesture in Samandriel’s direction, “– can you fly me back to the battlefield? Maybe _your_ flying skills won’t make me sick.”

Samandriel frowned. “My name is Samandriel… but of course, I can take you back the battlefield. The rift should still be open.”

“Perfect then!” Dean said, in a voice a bit _too_ high. He gripped the angel’s underarm and with a “See ya later,” they vanished.

 

After Samandriel and Dean flew away, Michael took Jack and they disappeared as well. So Castiel and Sam were the only ones left, standing in the dusty center hall of the Tower of Flames, surrounded by crackling fires.

 “Cas.” Sam was exhausted. “What did you say to him?”

Watching Dean and Cas dancing around each other like this now for days – in fact _years_ even – made the younger Winchester slowly but surely go crazy. It was about time that something changed.

Castiel shook his head. “I really don’t want to talk about it, Sam. It’s all senseless anyway…” He threw up his arms resignedly. “Dean can be so stubborn sometimes… he doesn’t really listen, he…”

Sam laughed out. “Who do you think you’re talking to? I’ve known him all my life… but believe me. He is only this stubborn when he really cares about something. And he cares about _you_ , Castiel, we all do. I hope you know this. I know you’ve been treating Dean differently since you came back from heaven. Are you sure you don’t wanna talk about it?”

As the angel saw the encouraging look in Sam’s eyes, he was so close to letting his heart speak. He knew that Sam would not laugh or make jokes… he would understand, maybe even give him some helpful advice.

“It’s complicated, Sam. I have… some issues with Dean, but this shall not concern our current mission. As I told Dean before, when it’s all over, and I’ve destroyed the Empty, we can go back to normal. But if I should die, Sam… no one can hold back this threat.”

Sam nodded in understandingly. “You mean, when you allow yourself to be happy, you’ll die. So you avoid being happy. I am not blind, Cas. You avoid getting too close to _Dean_.”

Castiel glanced at Sam, surprised. “… You truly are an attentive mind, Sam Winchester. I can not deny that Dean is… somehow my weak spot. But you knew this for years, don’t you?”

“Well, it was pretty obvious most of the time.” Sam smiled gently and laid a hand on Cas’ shoulder. “But please do me a favor, don’t hurt Dean like that. You can not imagine what he went through when you were dead, Cas. I watched him break apart, day by day. Because I… I believe you’re his weak spot too, Cas.”

Sam felt a little bit odd, talking with Cas about such intimacies which really only concerned the angel and his brother, but the words were spoken now and there was no going back.

Castiel looked into his eyes, blue met hazel. For a short moment, Sam thought that Cas would question what he just said. But he stayed calm, and Sam could swear, that the blue of the angel’s eyes had just gotten a shade darker.

Fires crackled and hissed and let their faces shine in the dancing light of the flames. They both remained in stillness, until Cas said roughly, like he hadn’t used his voice for ages: “Let’s join the others. We still have two stones left to find.”

With a flutter of six invisible wings, Sam and Castiel left the temple behind, leaving it in its own silence. The only witness was the great angel statue, indifferently defending an empty altar.

 

***

 

Saying goodbye to Michael was a brief matter of nods and congratulations. Castiel really hoped that the archangel could make the ‘Apocalypse World’ liveable again. He had the impression that Michael had done a really good job so far, even though he would never admit it to Dean or the others. Michael was still some kind of bad incident no one wanted to talk about.

Dean was very much caught in his own thoughts as they walked to the rift, which was still open, just as Samandriel predicted. It wasn’t even significantly smaller or weaker, so Cas’s grace really must be stronger than any other archangel grace they ever worked with before.

He was still pissed about Cas’ behavior in the temple, but Dean was Dean, and so he swallowed down his disapproval - alongside the bitter taste of rejection. He was _tremendously_ tired. The very first thing he wanted to do when they arrive in the bunker, was having a shower, washing the dirt and sweat off his skin. He could already feel the hot, fresh water rushing over his aching back. Then, he would open a bottle of whisky, and have one or two nice, not-too-small drinks of the golden liquid. And then, he would fall half drunk in his cosy bed, sleeping for the next three days. Yes, _that_ sounded like a plan.

 

***

 

“See ya guys, good night.” Dean yawned, as they landed in the middle of the room. The familiar smell of old books and polish welcomed them in the dark bunker. He didn’t even turn around as he walked straight in the direction of his room.

Sam watched him leave, a sad expression on his weary face, but he just said, “I think Dean is right, we all need some rest now. At least, the humans amongst us.” He yawned as well, just like his brother. “Feel free to go through the lore one more time, or… whatever. I need six hours, then I’m in again.”

With these words, Sam left the room too, and Castiel, Samandriel and Jack found themselves alone in the bunker library.

“So, what do we know about this other world, the ‘Bad Place’ as they call it? Do we have any information about it?” Samandriel began and Castiel was relieved that none of them spoke about the earlier time-stopping incident.

“I heard it’s sort of a jungle, with primeval beasts and cloaked monsters. But there should be a tribe of humans as well, I think a girl named Kaia lives there. She is the counterpart of the Kaia in our world, the dreamwalker.”

Jack nodded sadly. “Yes, she was the one who killed Kaia… She’s very dangerous, a skilled fighter. She has this spear, which can injure archangels, remember? We have to be very careful.”

The Nephilim looked at Castiel with concern.

“Don’t worry, Jack. We will explain to the inhabitants why we came to their world, just as we did with Michael. I’m sure, they won’t refuse us any help, once they learn about the Empty and its intentions. But I hope that Sam and Dean can give us some more information about this world in general. The site we are looking for is called ‘Monument of the Earth’; maybe they saw something like this while they were there.”

Samandriel was sceptical. “Castiel, why can’t we just go alone and try to find that monument? I don’t see the benefit of taking Sam and Dean with us at all. We could fly much faster and we have our powers…”

“No – we need them because the sites are warded, remember? I don’t think we could even get close enough to see its conspicuousness. Besides, I want them to come with us.” Castiel determined firmly.

The younger angel couldn’t help himself, he was a little bit concerned and confused about Castiel’s relationship with the Winchesters - especially Dean.

“Is there anything I should know, commander?” Samandriel asked emphatically. “I should be informed about everything that could endanger the mission, Castiel. God brought me back to help you and to take care of you. If we should get caught in the crossfire, I am sure where my priorities lie. But do you know it as well?”

Castiel felt anger rise inside him. He took a few steps to Samandriel and looked him straight in the eyes.

“You are right, I am your commander, even though I have told you several times not to call me that. And as your heavenly commander, I tell you now that the Winchesters are important. And again: I can take care of myself. So if we should get into the crossfire, you _have to save_ them, Samandriel. _They are important_. Swear to me that you will protect them.”

Samandriel seemed to shrink a little, for the archangel’s insistent words made him remember the stern hierarchy of Heaven.

But Castiel was different than any other archangel. He has been a common guardian angel for a long time and maybe he even understood most of their father’s plan. Samandriel has always looked up to Castiel because he saw in him the multifaceted incarnation of how angels should really be.

Loyal to humanity and to God at the same time. Doing the right thing even though it isn’t always the easiest. Making mistakes sometime, because even the Lord makes them. Made of flawless grace, a just mind for the big things, as well for the smallest. In his eyes, Castiel was the perfect leader. And he knew, he would follow him to any apocalyptical doom that may come.

“I understand. I apologize for questioning your plan. Then we’ll… wait.” Samandriel said humbly and sat down in one of the chairs.

Castiel slightly shook his head and said in a gentle tone: “It’s alright, Samandriel, there is nothing you have to apologize for. It is always good to hear a second opinion, and I really appreciate yours. But in this case I must insist. Nevertheless you are right… I wasn’t entirely honest with you.” Cas paused shortly to sit down too.

“There is really a thing you maybe should know. And you as well, Jack. The Winchesters,… Dean is…” he swallowed, Samandriel’s eyes were fixed on him.

“What is it about Dean, Cas?” Jack asked impatiently.

The archangel took a deep breath. “Dean is the sage of this Earth.”

Jack’s mouth flew open. “ _Dean_ is the sage? Wow. Okay. So we’ll need his blood to open the last temple, right?”

“Yes, this is why he needs to be protected.” Castiel confirmed. “I don’t know to whom the holy power will be transferred if Dean should die. I just hope it won’t come that far. I don’t even know if the blood offering is always simple like at the Tower of Flames. Maybe bigger sacrifices must be made to open the next doors.”

“We will find a solution. First we’re going to the primordial world, and then we’ll figure out how to enter this Earth’s temple.” Samandriel suggested, and Cas and Jack showed their approval by nodding.

“Promise me one thing, you two.” Cas demanded, “Don’t tell Dean and Sam about this. It would only unsettle them.”

“Of course, you have my word.” Samandriel assured.

Jack just nodded slowly. Another secret he should keep from his family. He wasn’t really happy about that, although he understood Cas’ consideration. Dean seemed to be very agitated lately, since Cas came back from Heaven. He could only attempt to imagine, how Dean must feel at the moment. Maybe to know the fact about himself being a chosen one would be a too heavy burden for now.

 

***

 

In the oppressive darkness of his room, the so-called ‘Sage of the Earth’ had a tremendously bad nightmare. Dean Winchester woke up screaming, bathed in cold sweat. In the first blurry seconds, he lay there with his eyes wide open, trying to calm down his racing heartbeat, he didn’t know where he was. The dream had been frightening real, and for a moment he believed that he was still caught in his own mind, locked away by Michael, and doomed to drown in his own, dark thoughts. But this time, there was no calming blue light he could hold on to. No soul-saving anchor to rely on.

He was alone. _Lost_.

 

_Inundated…_

 

Tidal waves of emotions collapsed upon him. A materialized wetness gathered in the corner of his eyes as he gazed at the ceiling in heavy concentration as if it would be the most important thing in the universe. Dean counted the cracks and the stains and the lines of the pattern, but no such deflection could hold back the tears from streaming down in silence.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Well, it’s said! Maybe some of you already expected that Dean could be a sage? ;) Alright, I hope to have the next chapter ready soon!
> 
> Thank you so much for reading, everyone! It’s not always easy to keep the tension steady, so I just hope, you’re not getting bored… Believe me, my Destiel-heart can’t wait to put in more Destiel-scenes… but yeah – the fic is going to be longer than expected haha. Maybe I shoud add the tag “slow-burn”? :P
> 
> As always, my friends: If you like what you read please share your opinion with me! I always appreciate your feedback and love to hear what you think. It keeps me going! ^^
> 
> Wanna meet me on tumblr? Yey! I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


	8. Neptune

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Finally, our protagonists insert the first stone into the sword - while already discussing their next destination: The Bad Place.  
> Although Dean actually wanted to stay calm and indifferent, he finds himself in the bathroom again – together with Castiel, who obviously needs to stretch some limbs.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go again - 8th chapter! ^^ I almost can’t believe that I've already written so many words… for me, this is a world record! Haha!
> 
> Thank you to **everyone** who supports me with kudos, comments and tumblr-reblogs – you guys rock! It motivates me so much! ^^
> 
> [Jackdaw816](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816) THANK YOU so much for taking your time and beta-reading, love! Pink is the new black! :D
> 
> Alrighty, time to insert the stone and watch our squad plan the next steps!  
> And yes, I got a little carried away writing the Destiel-scene… :P
> 
> The text at the beginning is from the song “Neptune” by Sleeping at last. I love this song…

Chapter 8 - **NEPTUNE**

* * *

 ***

_Pitch black, pale blue_

_There was a stained glass, variation of the truth_

_And I felt empty handed_

_You let me set sail_

_With cheap wood_

_So I patched up every leak that I could_

_Till the blame grew too heavy_

_Stage by stage, I tear apart_

_If brokenness is a form of art_

***

 

Sam slept longer than he wanted to, but it felt so good to wake up in his own bed again. After the uncomfortable nights in the motels and the trip to the Apocalypse World, it was a relief to stretch his legs out in the coziness of his own room. Although he remembered waking up around 2 a.m. because he heard Dean screaming. Sam was used to those screams, he knew it was because of the nightmares. They both had them. However, Sam’s had gotten less intense lately. Apparently not Dean’s.

***

“Good morning!” Sam smiled as he entered the kitchen, where Jack was about to make some fresh coffee. “How was the night?”

“Good morning, Sam. Hm, not very interesting at all... We only talked about the primordial world, but it turned out that we’re dependent on your experiences and your report.”

Sam was confused. “Primordial world? You mean the Bad Place?”

“Yes.” That was Castiel’s deep voice behind him. “I believe it was one of Chuck’s first attempts of creating worlds.” The angel stood under the kitchen door. “I’d like to insert the sacred stone into the sword now. Do you want to watch?”

“Of course“ Sam said in excitement, “Just let me grab a coffee, then let’s go. Is Dean already awake?”

“He went out for a run about 30 minutes ago. Said, he wanted to get some breakfast…” Jack explained.

“Okay…?” Sam wondered. Dean usually didn’t run. But well, doing a little sport couldn’t really be a bad thing. Maybe his brother could clear his mind a bit.

They met in the library, where the big sword laid in in the middle of the table. While they were away, they hid it in the dungeon, properly warded.

Castiel put a hand in the pocket of his trench coat and fished up the black velvet bag. He opened it and the stone of fire came to light. Sam had not yet seen it with his own eyes, and now he was amazed by the supernatural red light that seemed to come from the stone itself. The blood-red color was incredibly intense and slightly reflected on their faces.

“Alright, let’s start.” Castiel announced as he leaned forward and held the stone above the appropriate notch which had the same oval shape as the stone. Suddenly, an invisible power drew the glowing mineral like a magnet to the sword and with a silent _clink_ , the red stone was in place.

Instantly, the whole sword lit up. All sorts of colors darted across the blade and the handle and finally gathered in the stone they had just inserted. The spectacle came to an end after a few seconds, but the stone still radiated its red light.

“That was fantastic!” Jack grinned and looked up to his friends. Then his grin collapsed because he was the first to see who just came in.

“I see, you started the party without me!” Dean stated. “And? Did the pebble fit in? Didn’t need any super glue?” He threw a few bags with bagels and donuts on the table. His headphones hung down on both sides of his neck, Sam could hear heavy rock music hammering loudly.

Jack felt obliged to apologize, even though Dean didn’t seem to be upset at all. Just a little disappointed. “We’re sorry, Dean, but we didn’t know when you would be back, so we started, and… we…”

Dean waved his words away. “It’s okay guys, I don’t care. I know you don’t really need me for office work. We brought the sword one step closer to completion? Perfect. One less problem. The faster we finish the sword, the faster we can kill the monster and end this bullshit mission. As for now – eat, because today we may have to burn down a jungle and kill some dinosaurs to find another freakin’ hobbit hole.”

Sam was about to say something, but now Dean’s last words made the wheels in his head start to turn. “We still don’t know what exactly this ‘Monument of the Earth’ is… could be anything.” He jumped up and reached for the tower of books laying on the other table.

While Sam browsed through the pages of whatever lore he had, Cas asked Dean about the Bad Place. “Dean, this primordial world, what is it like? Are there really dinosaurs living there?”

Dean let himself fall onto the nearest chair, put his feet on the table and grabbed a bagel. “Well, at least the giant footprints looked like dinosaur tracks. We saw one of those beasts before leaving… it was bigger than the trees, and believe me, the trees are like skyscraper-big over there. It’s creepy. Everything about that place is creepy.”

“And what about the cloaked monsters? How can they be killed?” Cas continued his questioning.

“Ugh, ugly things, yah.” Dean made a disgusted face, which looked kind of weird because his mouth was full of food. “Killing them is no big problem”, he waved with the half-eaten bagle. “Gun-shot, decapitation, burning them with a flamethrower… Oh, yes! We definitely have to take the flamethrower with us. Alfie, you can put that on the packing list.”

Samandriel rolled his eyes and mumbled something like, “impertinent human…”, but he didn’t complain loudly.

“Guys, the lore doesn’t mention anything about this site we’re looking for” Sam announced and suggested: “I think we have to go to this world and ask the inhabitants. Maybe we can find Kaia and ask her for help.”

Dean laughed out. “Ha! You think the little ninja-girl will help us? After we hunted her and sent her back to that awful place? And don’t forget, she has that nasty spear…” Dean risked a quick look to Cas, whose eyes were fixed on Sam.

“Alright, Sam, I think it’s worth a try. If she’s not willing to help us, I could read her mind to find out if she knows anything about the monument,” Castiel determined.

“… And risk tearing her soul apart, of course”, Dean remarked sourly.

Cas looked concerned. “Maybe it won’t be necessary. Alright, the plan is to find the temple, destroy the sigils, then look for the sage. I just hope we won’t waste too much time with fighting, but according to your report, this world is full of monsters.” Cas sighed, but he seemed like he was ready to go.

Samandriel raised a hand. “Ahem. At first, I have to prepare the ingredients for the spell, and for that, I’ll need some of your grace, comm… Castiel. Should I…”

Cas interrupted him. “No, it’s okay, Dean can extract my grace once more.” It sounded like an order.

Dean looked surprised like someone just told him that the Impala has turned pink. The color of his face went from normal to pale to red in less than three seconds. Nonetheless, he stood up and with a grumpy mien and said sarcastically, “Of course, _your grace_ , would you please follow me to the bathroom?”

The others only stood there, and with a puzzled look, they just watched them leave the room.

***

“I’m not your personal assistant, you know? If you want something, you can ask me in a normal way,” Dean said once he had calmed down a bit. With determined steps, he led Cas to the bathroom, but he didn’t look back for a single glance. He was still mad at the angel and he definitely won’t act like a stupid high-school girl trying to get attention from her crush.

Suddenly he remembered, that actually, he wanted to take a shower first. He ran a pretty long round, and his shirt was damp from sweat. As they reached the bathroom, Dean tore the door open and mumbled, “Five minutes, Cas. I just have to take a quick shower. Then I will stab you… uh, I’ll put the thing in you… I mean, I… holy crap, you know what I mean.” Then he slammed the door shut in Cas’ face.

Inside the bathroom, Dean found himself leaning against the door, breathing heavily. _Damn_ , that angel has a power over him, it was’t natural. He wondered if he always felt drawn to him… He really couldn’t remember that this attraction had ever been so strong.

He had to pull himself together. _Come on, Winchester!_

So he got rid of his clothes; shirt, shorts, socks, boxers – everything landed in a corner. He stepped under the steaming hot water, closing his eyes.

This was strange. When Cas had given the order that _he_ should be the one to extract the grace, he felt a certain pride raising inside his chest. Hell, he didn’t know what he would have done if Samandriel were the one to prick through Cas’ skin. Although he was still confused and sad about Cas’ behavior, Dean knew that the angel did all those things only for the greater good. Maybe the feelings of an unimportant human are nothing compared to the end of the world and being devoured by an enormous black hole. Yes, maybe…

In any case, he would hold himself back from now on.

He grabbed a towel, and just as he wrapped it around his hips, the door suddenly flew open. “Five minutes are over, Dean. I thought that you would be ready…” Cas declared, but his voice faded out, as he saw the half-naked Dean. “… by now.” he ended quietly.

_‘Well, well, you stupid angel, now_ you’re _the one who’s staring’_ , Dean thought with a smirk on his face.

“Humans don’t just get dressed with a snap of a finger, Cas. But since you’re already here, we can do the procedure right away.”

Dean turned around to prepare the syringe, which was still laying on the cupboard. Unobtrusively, he looked in the mirror and watched Cas, who examined him very closely. Was there some desire in the eyes of the angel? Definitely. Dean decided to turn the tables.

"Take off your clothes”, Dean said calmly.

“W-what?” Cas looked surprised for a couple of seconds, eyes wide open. Dean enjoyed the situation. A confused archangel was something you didn’t see every day.

“I said, _Take your clothes off_. Otherwise, I can’t extract your mojo.”

Cas blinked twice. “Oh. Yes. Of course.”

The angel let his trench coat drop on the floor and got rid of the blue tie. Dean tried hard not to lick his lips.

“I heard you screaming last night. Did you have a nightmare?” Castiel asked all of a sudden as he began to unbutton his shirt.

That statement disenchanted Dean instantly.

Dean said nothing for some endless moments. He clutched the syringe firmly and kept his eyes fixed on the tool. Then he rested his hands on the cupboard.

“Since when are you interested again? Last time we tried to have a serious conversation, you knocked me out with your freakin’ spell and turned me into a pillar of salt. Literally. Why should I talk to you about my problems now?”

“Is having a nightmare a problem, Dean?” Cas asked curiously and tilted his head. Dean could see the reflection in the mirror. That stupid head tilt. Fuck.

“Yes, Cas, having these certain nightmares, _is_ a problem. Because do you know what they are about? Dying. Drowning. Going under in the sea of my own mind, alone and afraid and without a silver lining on the horizon. And when I wake up, I feel weak and exhausted and I can’t even tell if I really got rid of him. What if I’m still dreaming, locked up in my own thoughts by Michael? What if this is just another crazy fiction to distract me from his actions?”

Dean let his head hang between his arms, eyes closed. Castiel turned to him, now shirtless. He raised a hand to touch the hunter’s back. As Dean felt the angel’s warm palm on his bare skin, he couldn’t hold back a sob.

“Dean, you’re not dreaming right now, I can assure you that. Michael is gone. There is nothing-“

“Have you ever looked in the mirror, Cas, and noticed yourself?” Dean interrupted with a desperate whisper.

He didn’t dare to look up, because he knew that Cas would avoid his gaze. So he spoke to his hands, more or less captured by the need to finally tell his friend which power helped him to kick Michael out.

“Have you ever looked into your own eyes for more than two seconds? Because I have. I studied the color until I forgot the names of every other color in the world. You need to know that the memory of you was the only thing that kept my soul alive. That possession… it almost ended me. But the thought of never seeing you again, it let me break through. I really didn’t mean to tell you that… maybe it is just some kind of stupid illusion, but I… we…”

Dean couldn’t say the words as he wanted to. He had imagined this conversation countless times, and now he was babbling.

Yet somehow, Cas knew what he wanted to say. “Dean, there is a bond between us, this is true. I don’t want you to get into something without knowing the consequences. I am an archangel, and I have a task to fulfill. Maybe this mission will cost me my life. But no matter what, it is my heavenly duty.”

“Is it?” Dean hissed ironically. “Because all I wanna know is what you really want, Cas.”

“I want to be happy, Dean. I really do. But I can not leave the universe at its time of need, just because I’d like to be happy for a few moments. That would be more than egoistic.”

Dean exhaled the pent-up air he didn’t even know he was holding back. “That sounds kinda reasonable,” he admitted, lifting himself up. Castiel’s hand lingered a moment longer on his back, then the angel let it slide down and pulled away. The spot where their skin parted immediately felt cold.

“Okay,” Dean snuffled, “Let’s get your mojo.” He held up the syringe.

Castiel turned his back to Dean, waiting for the hunter to penetrate the skin between his shoulder blades. His invisible wings were itching badly and on another dimension, he felt his feathers rustling. He wouldn’t be surprised, if he just lost a feather or two.

Dean was the only one who could make him feel this way. What he just said about how he escaped Michael’s possession was unexpected. Castiel couldn’t think of a case, where a human being actually managed to cast out an angel. And Dean kicked out an _archangel_ … Because he was holding on to a memory of _him_. The warmth spreading inside his chest was indescribably beautiful and relieving. _Dean…_

As Dean’s hand gently touched his back, he almost leaned into the feeling. The grace inside him had felt heated since he had entered the bathroom and this particular sight of Dean let him forget the heavenly plan for a minute. He only saw Dean’s smile and recognized the way he looked at him, though his glance rushed over Dean’s eyes very quickly.

Castiel drew in a sharp breath as the tip of the needle finally pierced his skin. His grace stirred deep inside of him, rushing through his entire body. As he remembered how close he was to Dean, in this exposed situation, he tensed his shoulders. His heavy wings longed to be released, just for a short moment… to stop the itching. Maybe he could…

“Are you alright, Cas?” Dean asked. “You’re shivering. Stay still, I don’t wanna hurt you, okay?”

“You don’t want to… Dean, that tiny toy can not hurt me. I just… need to… ah,” Castiel panted, breathing faster now.

The swirling, luminescent grace was caught in the syringe, and Dean pulled out the needle. It was like this was the last sign Cas had been waiting for.

A blinding light suddenly filled the room, and Dean had to squint his eyes. The glow was so intense that he could see it even with his eyes closed. As he opened them again, he barely trusted his eyes.

“Cas, this is… _woah,_ ” he gasped, absolutely overwhelmed. He found himself surrounded by feathers. _Lots of_ feathers. He was still standing behind Cas, who somehow _let_ appear his wings. They filled the small room entirely and the chaos of the three pairs stretching from Cas’ shoulder blades in every possible angle made Dean forget the world.

He remembered Cas’ wings from when he saw him in his true form, and they were breathtaking. Still, they looked so otherworldly and ethereal back then, so _divine_ , he never thought they were actually _real_.

But now he was enclosed by black feathers, which shimmered in a hundred shades of blue when he tilted his head. He could just reach out his hand to touch them. Here and there, golden sparks detached from the tips and rims and trickled down on the floor, light as glitter. As Cas moved slowly, the golden dust dispersed in the air around Dean.

“I’m sorry, Dean, I had to release them for a moment. Human vessels feel so small sometimes… especially for archangels. Apparently, I forgot about that fact. I thought that now would be a good opportunity to stretch them a bit. You see, they are not very comfortable for everyday life, but-“

“They are _incredible_ ”, Dean whispered hoarsely and shut his mouth, which had been open in awe for god knows how long.

“I… thank you, Dean.” Cas turned his head to the side, and Dean saw the muscles of his shoulders moving underneath the skin. Shoulders, that carried the weight of the world. The sight of the angel’s jawline, running down to his neck in delicate wrinkles, made Dean swallow hard.

An unprecedented impulse to touch every part of this beautiful, celestial creature washed over him like a breaking wave. Dean wanted to dive into Cas’ whole purity and experience what it feels like to give in to his suppressed desires. He raised his right hand and reached out to touch the angel’s back.

Cas twitched a little and groaned. “Please, Dean. Just don’t… don’t touch me. In this state, my senses are very sensitive and I can feel everything much more intensely… I should… veil my wings again.”

A moment later, his wings were invisible and hidden again on an ethereal level. It was an alleviation to spread them out even though Cas had wished to use them properly. But he felt his barricade dangerously fading because he could sense Dean’s soul reaching out to his whole being like a flame rearing up to burn dry grass. Castiel really didn’t know how long he could resist.

He turned around to say something, just as they heard a shout coming from the hallway. “Castiel? Dean? Are you finally done? The ingredients are ready, we can do the spell now!” Samandriel’s voice sounded impatient.

Dean cleared his throat. “We’re ready and coming!” He shook his head as if he needed to put the parts of his brain back in the right position. With two long steps, he was at the door and disappeared with the extracted grace.

This time, Castiel was the one left behind in the cold emptiness of the bathroom.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yey! We’re on our way to the essence of this story, guys, I'm so excited! But of course, we also need some action first… stay tuned! :)
> 
> THANK YOU SO MUCH for reading! *_*  
> I always feel honoured when you let me hear your thoughts, my friends. If you like, leave me a comment, I appreciate your opinion and feedback!
> 
> You can reach me on tumblr as well: I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


	9. Uranus

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The very moment they enter the _Bad Place_ , the angels are struck by a strange force. Although incapable of using celestial power, our friends nevertheless continue their way through dense rainforest, to find the second sacred stone. Actually, they expected to meet tons of monsters, but as fate would have it, it is a very special person who finds them first.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey my friends, I’m finally back with the next chapter! ^^  
> You guys really blew me away with your comments on the last chapter, I feel so honored and I’m so happy that you like my fic and stick to it. You make my day! :)  
>  **< 3<3<3 THANK YOU all! <3<3<3**
> 
> To the lovely [Jackdaw816](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Jackdaw816) thank you SO MUCH for your help on this fic so far! You’re a star!  
> A big thank you goes to [cutie1365](https://cutie1365.tumblr.com/) as well for beta reading this chapter! Thank you so much for taking your time! :)
> 
> Well, finally we’re heading for the bad place! A little walk into the woods can’t be that bad, what do you think? ;)  
> The text at the beginning is again from the song “Neptune” by Sleeping at last. Just can’t get enough of it.

Chapter 9 - **URANUS**

* * *

 ***

_Thread by thread I come apart_

_If brokenness is a work of art_

_Surely this must be my masterpiece_

_I’m only honest when it rains_

_If I time it right, the thunder breaks_

_When I open my mouth_

_I wanna tell you but I don’t know how_

_An open book, with a torn out page_

_And my inks run out_

_I wanna love you but I don’t know how_

***

It hit them instantly as they took their first steps into the primordial world, which the Winchesters called the ‘ _Bad Place’_. The stroke was like a heavy burden, unloading all of a sudden on their shoulders. An unknown power crashed their grace, until they could only feel it burning as a small flame inside their deepest, inner core.

Samandriel made a groaning sound and stumbled. With wide eyes, he fearfully looked to Cas. “What in God’s name is happening here? I can’t…” he breathed heavily and held his chest, “… I can’t feel my wings anymore!” The panic in his voice startled some black birds and they fluttered in alarm above the trees.

Dean looked up to them in concern. He didn’t want to attract the monster’s attention already within the first five minutes. “For fuck’s sake, be quiet!” he hissed, grimly addressing Samandriel.

“This cannot be possible…” Cas pondered and pressed two fingers on his temple. With his eyes closed, he seemed to be trying to focus on something, but it was in vain. He looked up and glared at the Winchesters.

“Why haven’t you told us that this world does not have a Heaven?! No celestial creature has ever filled this atmosphere with its presence…!” Cas revealed. He tilted his head back, staring unbelievingly up to the sky as if he could manifest an angel by just concentrating intensely enough.

“Yeah, and? How the hell should _we_ even know if there are some fluffy clouds up there anyway? It’s not like we have a freaking angel-radar or whatever!” Dean snapped and added, “But this can’t be that bad, huh? Just imagine we’d have to fight these winged douchebags in addition to monsters and who knows what else…”

“This isn’t funny, Dean,” Cas growled, “This means that this earth was never touched by angelic grace. Our powers are not really working here.”

Jack’s eyes grew big, and his gaze wandered from Cas to Samandriel and back to Dean, who exhaled a soft whistle.

“Shit. Okay. This is definitely bad. Well, now you know why we call this green hell the _Bad Place_.” Dean smirked.

Sam really didn’t know why his brother could still smile. He shook his head and turned to Castiel. “What do you think? Should we go back and try to figure out something different? Rethink the plan?”

For a moment, it looked like Cas would consider Sam’s suggestion. But then he said: “No, let’s go through it and see how far we can get. Maybe we’ll have to take a break anyway because we can’t find the temple,” he looked annoyed and added, “Or the sage. I don’t know how much of my powers I can safely use without burning them out…”

“Well then! Looks like we have to explore the forest in the traditional way. _By foot_.” Dean said as he stepped to the nearest tree to break off a limb to use it as a hiking stick. He couldn’t say that he was entirely unhappy about the fact that this time he didn’t have to cling to some feathery ass.

 

***

 

During the first hour, nothing special happened. They walked along a narrow path, which lead them through dense rainforest. When they lifted their heads, they could barely see the sky above the trees, because the giant plants seemed to absorb most of the daylight, turning it into a strange twilight.

The all-embracing unnatural illumination was something Cas was really concerned about. “Sam,” he addressed the younger Winchester, “was the light already like this when you were here last time?”

“I can’t really remember Cas… but I think that it somehow felt like it was constantly dawn. We totally lost track of time when we were here. Why? Do you think this is abnormal?”

Cas hesitated for a moment, but then decided to share his worries with his friends. “Well, it could mean absolutely nothing. Maybe this world is designed like this. I was just wondering… what if the Empty is already spreading? Maybe it has reached this galaxy’s shore. I must speak to God, as soon as we’re back in our world.”

Sam just nodded. Slowly but surely, they were running out of time, he understood that much.

 

***

 

Two hours later, they needed to rest. They sat down in a circle on the mossy ground and shared some sandwiches. The big trees above them gave them a little shelter from the rain, that had just started.

At first, it was just some lonely drops, but three minutes later it poured down like torrents. The water bent the leaves, so the rain rushed down on them relentlessly. The wetness was like a crawling force and left the Winchesters longing for their warm, dry, cosy bunker. It was always nice to listen to the rain, when they’re working or chilling inside their walls. The angels and Jack didn’t seem to be bothered by the rain.

Samandriel sat there, his back leaned against the bark of a redwood and stared on an undefined spot next to Jacks head.

“Hey, what are you thinking about?” The Nephilim asked curiously, breaking the silence. “You’re not looking very content.”

The angel moved his eyes to lock them with Jack’s. “It’s nothing… just… I’m not sure how to be of use at the moment. We’ve been running through the forest for hours now, with no sign of human life. If I could only… But my powers are not working… so yes, obviously I’m feeling useless.”

Samandriel sighed deeply and fixed his dreamy gaze on a little dragonfly which couldn’t decide to sit down on Cas’ shoulder or on Jack’s knee.

Jack slid over to Samandriel and rested a hand on the angel’s shoulder. “Hey. Don’t be sad, Samandriel. I know so well what it feels like to lose your powers…”

Samandriel looked to the hand on his shoulder, then in Jack’s face. “What did you do?” the angel asked quietly.

“Hm. I couldn’t do much, you know. My world broke apart, and first, I didn’t know how I should _ever_ handle this. I thought, that I am nothing without my powers. I defined myself through them… Until Cas took care of me and showed me, that I am worth so much more than just some wings and grace. He explained to me that the most important things aren’t done with your angel power – but with your heart. _These_ are the things that really count.”

Samandriel let the words settle, while looking to Cas, who observed the dragonfly. It just landed on the back of his left hand. The current leader of Heaven’s armies held his other hand above the insect to protect it from the falling rain drops.

“Castiel is one of a kind, Jack. You must be so proud that he’s like a father to you.”

The two of them watched Castiel in silence. The archangel just lifted his hand so he could examine the dragonfly more closely. He tilted his head and Jack wondered what he was thinking about.

“Yes, I am.” Jack finally said. “But Sam and Dean, they help me too. When I lost my powers, I was so glad that I had my friends and family around to guide me. Without them, I’d be lost.”

A sad expression appeared on Samandriels face, and he directed his eyes to the ground. “You’re very lucky to have such friends… I don’t have any.”

“But that’s not true, Samandriel! I am your friend!” Jack said enthusiastically and grinned.

“That’s…” Samandriel’s eyes widened in surprise. “That would be a great honour for me, Jack. You are very kind.” The angel smiled a little and felt the weight on his shoulders easing.

Cas - his eyes still fixed on the dragonfly, of course heard every word the youngsters spoke - smiled as well, softly.

 

***

 

_Smack!_

“Hah, got you too, you son of a bitch! Forty-eight!” Dean cursed victoriously, as he squashed mosquito no. 48. The population of those tiny blood-sucking beasts seemed to have exploded after the rain. As usual, they were only after Sam and Dean – the angels surely emanated some celestial mosquito repellent.

Sam rolled his eyes. “Dean, you don’t have to constantly count how many mosquitos you kill here… this is not the battle of Helm’s Deep.”

“I don’t care, Sammy, it’s a good trick to keep your senses alert – forty-nine! – How many have you killed by the way, little brother?”

“I don’t… okay, I have fifty-seven.” Sam revealed.

Now it was Dean who rolled his eyes.

 

They were walking for almost six hours, with absolutely no sign of human life. Dean wondered, if Kaia was maybe the only human being in this freaking monster jungle. But they haven’t met any kind of monster either. Not that he wanted to see one of those cloaked idiots too soon, but always being ready to fight made him tired. _Where were they?_

Due to the high humidity, their clothes stuck on their sweaty bodies. It was exhausting.

“I really hope the next temple is somewhere on the North Pole, I’m sick of the heat.” Dean complained. He led them through the forest, sometimes clearing the way with his machete, as the lianas and branches hung very low over the path that was finally becoming wider now.

“Hey, Dean.” Sam caught up with his brother so they could walk side by side. “Is everything alright? You’ve been very silent lately. I heard you had a nightmare last night.”

Dean sighed deeply. “Come on, Sammy, not you too. It’s fine, okay?”

“Did Cas ask you about your dream too? Wouldn’t surprise me…” Sam said thoughtfully. Then he continued, almost whispering. “You screamed _‘Cas, Cas! Where are you?!’_ Do you remember that?”

Dean shrugged and risked a look over his shoulder. But the angels and Jack were caught in a silent conversation. “The whole situation is so freakin’ awkward, I don’t wanna talk about it right now okay? Let’s just go on, find that stupid temple and-“

Dean immediately stopped talking and walking as he felt something touching his arm. Something pointy and sharp. The brothers heard Jack’s gasping behind them but didn’t dare look back.

 

They were surrounded.

 

Carefully, Sam turned his head to his right side, where the tip of a spear was pressed against his upper arm. The figure was tall and wore a long black coat, its hood pulled deep into its face. Sam could see a mouth, which was apparently human.

“Who are you? Speak quickly.” It was the voice of a man.

Before Sam could open his mouth, he heard Castiel’s voice from behind. “We’re coming from another reality. This may sound odd to you, but it is true. We have an important task, and we hope that you could help us. I am an angel of the Lord – of _God_ \- the one who created every world, even the one you’re living in. Please hear us out, we are no threat to you.”

The cloaked man turned his head to Castiel and sneered, “An angel of the Lord? Never heard of something like that. And from another reality, huh. That’s interesting though. Still, to me, it looks like you came to steal the treasure of our holy temple.”

“The temple! We’re looking for it! Can you tell us where it is?” Jack said in excitement. Dean closed his eyes slowly, sighing.

“So you admit it. Bind their hands!” the stranger commanded. His companions moved skillfully and within seconds their hands were tied behind their backs. One of them took Dean's machete and examined the long blade.

“You’re making a big mistake. Let us go!” Samandriel struggled to free himself, but one of the fellows punched his face.

“Shut up, intruder. We’ll bring you to our leader. Maybe you’ll suit as an offering for _our_ God. Or we’ll execute you right away. It’s up to her.”

Castiel glanced at Samandriel and slightly shook his head. _Let it be – we’ll talk to that leader._ The young angel understood.

 

***

 

An hour later, they crossed a massive stone bridge, leading them to the other side of a wide river. Some simple houses came into view. Their assailants had meanwhile taken off their hoods and directed them further into the center of the village as suddenly a woman approached, coming to meet them halfway. Her black hair fell in long curls over her shoulders. “Antoginas! I was expecting fresh prey, not some prisoners! Where-“

She held her breath in the middle of the sentence as she recognized Sam and Dean. “ _You_!” She barked in disbelief.

“Kaia! What a pleasure! Just wanted to say hi, and check back if you’re doin’ okay…!” Dean exclaimed.

“What in the giant’s name are you doing here? Did you follow me? Hm… no. Then you’d be dead already.” Kaia asserted coldly as she looked them up and down.

Sam thought that it was time to speak some honest words. “We’re sorry how things turned out… That we had to send you back to your world. But Claire would never have stopped hunting you, after you killed our Kaia…”

“Don’t you think I feel sorry for that too?” Kaia shouted. “She was my counterpart, the reason why I could see these beautiful things in my dreams… Your world…” She sounded desperate, yet it seemed like she wanted to wipe the memories away with a shake of her head.

“And what about Michael? Did you kill him?”

Sam shook his head. “That’s a longer story, maybe you could take your time and hear us out?”

Before anyone else could say something, they heard Cas’ deep voice trembling. “ _Kaia_.”

He looked at her, as if he had seen a human being for the first time. “We need to talk. Now.”

“Ah, Castiel. And who are you to give me orders? You should know by now that I don’t really care about your issues.”

“The universe is in danger,” Cas began, and explained in quick words, what the Empty was about to do and why it was a threat to every world and every living creature.

 

***

 

“… and this is why we need your help, Kaia. We need to find that temple and get the stone to complete the weapon that can kill that cosmic entity.” The archangel ended.

A long silence followed on those explanations, until Kaia raised her voice.

“You are very lucky, you know. If it is true what you say, then _God_ – apparently the creator of everything – does really care about you. I understand your intention. You want to save your world. Keep it from _dying_. But look around. We are the last tribe on this doomed planet, as far as we know. Monsters and giants are taking over the land, and we can’t do anything about it. They are too numerous. We’re on the edge of extinction.

In the past few years, so you could say… we lost hope. This is why I tried to get to your world; I wanted to ask Kaia for help, because I knew that she was in a better place. But as I finally managed to come to your world, I just realized I wasn’t fitting in. That world could never have become my home. There were so many other creatures around I did not understand… Angels, demons, blood-sucking humans… It was all too much.

So I didn’t care as you pushed me back through the rift. And now I’m here, trying to lead us through the last days of our mingy existence, to one day leave the land to the monsters.”

Dean snorted. “Geez, what a depressive attitude. And I thought I was the pessimist.”

“Antoginas, set them free.” Kaia said all of a sudden.

The man seemed not amused. “Are you sure, Kaia? They said that they came to steal the emerald.”

“I know what they said, I will take care of them. Alone. Now remove the ties.” Kaia said irritably. Antoginas and his men did what they were told, stepped back and left Kaia alone with the Winchesters and their friends.

“So. You are looking for the sacred stone. Follow me.”

 

***

 

Kaia led them out of the village, to the top of a hill. As they reached the highest point, Kaia stopped at the edge of the abyss. They saw a wide valley stretching on the other side of the hill.

“What I’ll show you now, not many human eyes have ever seen…” she announced, “Well, this is because there are not many humans left. Anyway, welcome to the Monument of the Earth.”

Dean, Sam, and the others stepped forward. What they saw as they looked down, was stunning – and unearthly at the same time.

The valley laid in silence, covered in otherworldly twilight, even though the sun was shining and it must be early afternoon. Reddish, poisonous looking mists hovered above the trees and gave the scene an even more dramatic look.

Down there was a giant labyrinth, made out of scrub, hedges and dead trees. The wood looked rotten and unstable, yet the bushes were still green.

But what really caught their attention, was the building in the middle of the maze like formation. The construction was entirely made of dark grey stone and had the shape of a giant globe. There were four obelisks placed around the monument and nature has surely tried to claim its realm back, because most parts of the temple were covered with moss, lianas and climbing plants.

“Nice view, Kaia. So this is your most holy place? Looks a bit neglected to me.” Dean stated.

Kaia nodded unaffectedly. “Take a closer look, smarty-pants. It is not safe to visit the site nowadays.”

Sam’s eyes narrowed as he observed the scene more accurately. What he saw was daunting. Dean next to him saw it too. “Fucking hell”, he gasped. “This could be a little bit of a challenge.”

Hordes of cloaked figures slowly crept up and down the narrow aisles of the maze. It was impossible to guess how many there were.

For some minutes they just stood there, observing the scenery.

Finally, Dean cleared his throat. “Well, Kaia, we need to get down there,” he pointed down, “to the temple. Any suggestions?”

Kaia shook her head. “Not really. The only way is through the maze. I heard your angel powers aren’t working here? So flying is not an option either.”

“Ah, but this could also be a good thing!” Samandriel informed, “Maybe the sigils on the temple walls don’t have an impact on us! As for me, I can’t feel anything yet. You, Castiel?”

“No, I don’t feel any blocking either. I think you’re right, Samandriel. So we can go with you this time”, Cas added.

Kaia smirked. “Well, good luck to you, guys. No one came even close to the temple for _decades_. Believe me, there are more than these cloaked creatures down there… We have tried to conquer the maze, again and again. But we always failed due to their majority. And we couldn’t risk to losing any more people, so our attacks were just… pathetic.” She sighed, her view was blurred as she looked nowhere in particular.

“Kaia. You must come with us.”

 

All eyes were on Cas. “We need your… we need _you_ to open the door to that temple.”

“Cas, what are you talking ab-“ Dean began, but then the realization hit him and he stared at the girl. “Kaia… you’re the sage…”

Cas nodded slightly, “Yes, I knew it from the moment you met us down in the village. You’re a very special soul, Kaia. You’re chosen to carry the key to this important fragment that can help saving the universe. The Stone of the Woods.”

Kaia swallowed heavily. “You mean the sacred emerald? The treasure of our ancestors? And you need _me_ to open the temple’s portal?”

“Exactly.” Cas reassured and fixed her with his blue, irresistible gaze. Dean swallowed.

“I remember the legends my father told me… only the chosen one could open the portal and get to the stone.” Kaia shook her head in disbelief. “And I am this person, as you say.”

The group stood there, waiting for Kaia’s final reaction. Dean had the bad apprehension, that if she would refuse to come with them, the angels would force her to accompany them. Jack was still looking down to the valley, fear in his eyes. “They are so many…”

Kaia looked to Jack, and then, she made her decision. “Alright. I’ll come with you. Considering the situation, I have not much to lose here. And if I could do anything to help you to save your world, I’ll try.”

So it was decided.

 

After a short rest back in the village, they headed down to conquer the maze.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, here we go! :D The identity of the sage is revealed… only a tiny task remaining: To get to the temple. :P
> 
> I hope to have the 10th chapter ready next week, before my vacation… stay tuned, guys and THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING! If you wanna leave a comment or a kudo, you’re so welcome to do so, I really appreciate your feedback! <3
> 
> I wanna mention my dear friend bekindplsrewind: A little bit _Jackdriel_ can’t be a bad thing, am I right? ;)
> 
> If you want to say hello on tumblr, I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


	10. Jupiter

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They enter the maze and of course, the Winchesters and their friends bravely fight their way through the hordes of enemies. But soon enough, the situation is getting precarious, as more and more monsters appear and force them to change their plans.  
> As the inevitable chaos takes over the battlefield, abandoned rationalities trigger impulsive reactions – with gravely consequences.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again! I’m already here with the next chapter! ^^  
>  **Thank you all** for reading this fic and supporting me with kudos, reposts and comments! Your feedback really motivates me! <3 Special thank yous to Benka, Iceman, bekindplsrewind and Zofo - You're the kings and queens of comments! Wow!<3
> 
> To [cutie1365](https://cutie1365.tumblr.com/) \- Thank you so much for taking your time and beta reading this chapter! ^^
> 
> Okay, this chapter… *swallows* Well folks, get ready for the battle. Just to warn you: It'll get a little bloody, that's why I added the tag "canon typical violence". Just to make sure and let you know that this isn't just a 'milk run'. ;)  
> Beginning-lines are from the song “Jupiter” by Sleeping at last.

Chapter 10 **\- JUPITER**

* * *

 ***

_Just a secret under lock and key until then_

_While collecting the stars, I connected the dots_

_I don’t know who I am, but now I know who I’m not_

_I’m just a curious speck that got caught up in orbit_

_Like a magnet it beckoned my metals toward it_

_Make my messes matter_

_Make this chaos count_

_Let every little fracture in me_

_Shatter out loud_

***

Jack was impatient. “Should I prepare the flamethrower, Dean?” he whispered.

“ _Shush_! Lemme count them first.” Dean answered nervously and risked another glimpse around the corner of the messy hedge.

The way down the valley was steep and stony, but fortunately the path was hidden and protected by trees and tall shrubs. They didn’t meet any monsters except one lonely creature, and Kaia killed it quick-witted with her spear, before anyone else could react. They decided not to use any firearms for the time being, since the shots surely would have been heard all over the valley and inevitably aroused the monsters’ attention.

As they reached the edge of the labyrinth, the situation became more precarious. The hedges were at least eight feet high and made it impossible to watch their enemies from a safe distance. The corridor Dean was peering into was loaded with cloaked figures. There were bigger and smaller ones. The strange monsters crept around with ungraceful posture, evidently without a certain purpose. Almost as if they were only here to guard the maze.

“Okay guys, there are about eighteen to twenty of these things around the corner. I say, we kill them old-school - blade, spear, machete. Sooner or later, the others will discover us anyway, but there’s no need to rush in on the first turn with fire and roar. What do you think?” Dean explained quietly, mainly addressing his brother.

Sam just nodded. What Dean said, sounded plausible.

“Good. So, no flamethrower yet, kid!” Dean winked at Jack. “Let’s get this started.”

They stormed around the corner, as quiet as possible, to take advantage of the moment of surprise. Kaia swung her spear as if it was a part of her, killing two monsters at once with a graceful pirouette. Cas and Samandriel used their angel blades to slash the creatures. Unfortunately, they could not be killed with just one stitch, so they had to waste precious minutes gruesomely slaughtering them.

It was a disgusting business. The monsters emitted excited clicking sounds and showed their sharp teeth, yet their eyes weren’t visible underneath the dirty hoods. They were armed with all sorts of sharp objects; spears, knives, lances and swords.

Sam ducked in time before a rusty spear could pierce him. He straightened up quickly and beheaded the creature with his machete. Blue, viscous slime splashed against him and sullied his shirt, but he had no time to clean himself, because the next monster came running in his direction.

A quite large specimen approached Dean, preparing to stab its spiked sword into his stomach. Dean blocked the attack with his own knife, but the guy was fast and was already picking up a new attack as another monster came up from the side. Dean stumbled backward to avoid the smaller one's attack, and landed hard on the ground. The sword of the first attacker rushed towards Dean.  
  
The hunter narrowed his eyes, and tried to roll away, waiting for the unavoidable stroke to hit him. But it didn’t come.

Suddenly the monster howled in pain and the sword fell from his claws. An angel blade jutted straight out of his skull.  
  
Dean saw only a flash of beige as Castiel severed the head of the big guy with his own sword.

 

“This was the last one – for now.” Cas held out his hand to help Dean up. The hunter blinked a little surprised, then grabbed it tightly.

“Thanks, Cas… Anyone hurt?” he asked, looking to his brother and the others. They looked a bit battered and dishevelled, but they all stood upright. Jack had an ugly wound on his cheek, which bled a little. Samandriel saw it too.

“There, let me help you”, the angel mumbled and pressed a cloth on Jack’s wound to clean it and stop the bleeding.

The Nephilim allowed him do it before he said: “It’s nothing dramatic. Let’s go on.”

 

Sam inspected the bodies lying around. “Dean,” he said, voice a little shaky, “Didn’t you count at least eighteen of them? Here we have only thirteen corpses…”

His brother was right. “Shit. The others must have fled.” Dean combined.

“Yes, maybe to warn the rest of them…” Samandriel said, but his last words were absorbed by wild, shrieking screams. They all looked up in grim readiness for another fight. A horde of cloaked creatures came running around the corner.

 

Dean didn’t bother with counting them this time. “ _Jack!_ ” he yelled, “Keep the flamethrower ready! Time to burn these sons of bitches! Quiet part is over!”

Like a wave of horrible spawns of hell, the monsters came towards them. Jack held up the flamethrower and moved forward to stop the first onslaught with fire.  
  
What followed, was perhaps the craziest battle the Winchesters had ever gone through. At first, the enemies were held back by the flames, however no one had foreseen that the inflamed beasts while screaming terribly loud and in their panic, banged against the hedge. Of course, the dry greens immediately caught fire and within a few minutes, heat and smoke almost robbed them of air to breath and clear sight.  
  
To push things, Dean decided that it was time to move forward.  
"Come on, we have to go further, to the center! We fight our way through!" he shouted to the others, each of them involved in their own fights.

They started to run, killing more monsters on their way through the labyrinth. Sam had a nasty stab wound from a lance on his upper arm, but the adrenaline just kept him going.

  
  
Kaia fought like a berserker, as if she wanted to slaughter every monster by herself. Her spear rushed in one direction, then in the other; she literally flew over the battlefield.  
  
"Kaia!" Castiel screamed as he looked back and saw Kaia suddenly surrounded by several bigger creatures. There was panic in her eyes as the crouched, long-clawed monsters came closer. They clattered excitedly with their jaws.

Castiel didn’t hesitate. He ran back to Kaia, while the others continued their way, fleeing from monsters and flames at once.

 

They were already around two other corners, as Dean noticed the absence of Cas and Kaia. He stopped abruptly and looked back. “Cas! Kaia!” he shouted, but all he could hear was crackling fire and battle sound. “Dammit! I’ll go back!”

“Dean, wait, we’re-“ Sam began, but was interrupted by a loud, roaring noise. Suddenly the earth shook and another deep roar filled the air. Sam and Dean had a terrible fear. Their eyes met. It could only be one thing.

"No… Not that, please no." Dean moaned. They heard wood splintering and the earth quaked with every step of the creature that apparently made its way through the maze.

“Guys, this must be that fucking giant! Pullback! We grab Cas and Kaia and try to get to the temple from the other side! Run!” Dean yelled and released the safety catch of his gun.

They sprinted the way back, jumping over dead bodies and burning wood. After passing two corners and aisles, they finally reached the spot where Cas and Kaia stood back to back and tried to keep the monsters at distance. Kaia seemed to have lost her spear, because she only held a simple branch in her hand. Cas still had his angel blade, but he also looked branded from the fight. Scratches and dirt covered his face and his coat was blotched with blue monster-goo and burn marks. Smoke was still rising from some spots.

Dean didn’t wait a second longer and plunged into the fight. Regardless of casualties, he fired his gun and held the machete ready in his other hand. Where did all the monsters suddenly come from? There were still so many and it became pretty tight in the corridor. The bodies piled up on the ground. Dean only noticed casually that he stepped on the bloody skull of a monster. It creaked creepily underneath his shoes.  
  
Sam, Jack and Samandriel also ran into the chaotic crowd. Encouraged by the giant's reinforcement, the monsters seemed to regain their power and fought bitterly.  
  
The pounding footsteps got louder and seemed to be very close, so Sam risked a look over his shoulder. The ugly head of the giant towered above the trees and the smoldering hedge. Sam could see his angry face with his gross mouth opened to a roar.

Horrific, red eyes searched the scene. Found the intruders.

“Dean!” Sam yelled across the noise, “We have a problem! Dammit, Dean, _pullback_!”

 

It was one of these moments, where more things happened at once.

 

As Dean turned his head to look at his brother and met the giant’s gaze, he saw in the corner of his eye that one of the smaller fellows held up an unaccustomed weapon. Dean risked a closer look and realized in horror, that it was Kaia’s spear. The monster seemed to know instinctively that it has a powerful weapon in his possession, because it immediately ran towards Cas, who didn’t pay attention, whirling across the battlefield, angel blade uplifted.

Dean started to run in Cas’ direction, shouting hysterically. “Cas! Turn around! _Cas_!” His screams perished by the unbearably loud roar of the giant, who screamed in pain now.

Jack made use of the flamethrower and aimed for the monstrous feet and legs. It began to stink of burnt flesh immediately, it nearly made Jack faint but he kept going. The giant blared even louder and trampled down the hedge.

Dean was sure he’ll go deaf but he never lost sight of the attacker, the figure that hobbled straight towards Cas. He didn’t know if it was even possible to hit his target at all in this chaos, nevertheless he held up his gun and pulled the trigger.

 

Nothing happened.

He pulled again.

Scornful clicking.

 

“ _Fuck, not now_!” Dean cursed in disbelief. No time to change the munitions. He ran faster, had to reach Cas before the monster did. Another dumbass slammed into him and knocked the machete out of his hand. But he kept running, just running.

It all happened in a fraction of a second. The monster raised the spear. Dean jumped off the ground. Cas turned around, eyes widened. The spear shot forward. Stabbed into flesh.

Dean’s eyes widened as well.

The monster cackled like crazy and struck again.

And again.

Until it was enough and his head finally rolled over the ground. Kaia had Dean's machete in her hand. She grabbed her spear and fought on already.

 

Time - for a moment running in a terrible version of slow motion - was back to normal. Ultimately, Castiel woke up from his numbness.

 

“ _DEAN_!”

 

The archangel screamed, his voice awfully broken.

 

***

 

Castiel was at him before he could hit the ground hard. The weapon - so dangerous to mighty archangels - had destroyed Dean’s chest, his ribcage. Dark blood spread on the torn shirt. Unstoppable, it formed some horrific flower shapes on the grey fabric.

The battle noise around them was suddenly far away and felt like being wrapped up in cotton wool. Castiel was only marginally aware that Sam and the others had brought down the giant, and now probably dealing with his skull to finally kill him.

The angel could not believe what had just happened, as he looked down at Dean, who was lying quiescently on his lap.

“Dean…, oh _Dean_ , you damn fool…” he mumbled, “I can’t heal you here, don’t you know!?”

Notwithstanding the irrevocable fact that angel powers didn’t seem to work in this world, Cas let his hand hover over Dean’s chest and tried to activate his powers. But his grace remained silent. Useless. He gritted his teeth in bitter despair and felt a wild anger. All his damn archangel strength was worth absolutely nothing now. Tears of rage emerged in his eyes.

“Dean, please, stay with me!” Cas tightly enclosed Dean’s hand with his grasp, never letting go. At the same time, he tried to stop the bleeding with his trench coat, which he had just pulled off his shoulders. But as Cas looked at the terrible wound more closely, his heart sank deep. This was serious.

“What have you done, Dean…” Castiel whispered, gently stroking the back of Dean’s hand. His face was covered with dirt and his cheeks and forehead shone from sweat and the heat of the fires they just went through.

Dean’s eyelids fluttered as he tried hard to open his eyes. His gaze was blurred and somehow broken, weary. The hunter parted his lips to say something.

“You said it yourself… you’re important… you’re the one… who cannot… die…” he coughed and groaned in pain, but he forced himself to continue speaking.

“You have to…” Dean’s body cramped and he coughed again, and this time, the blood began to fill his throat and a trickle of the red liquid ran from his nose and down his chin.

“… You have to save the universe, Cas. I just wish… wish we… I…”

He was too weak to find the right words. So many unsaid things inside Dean Winchester’s mind, so little time. The blood spread too quickly out of his damaged organs. Yet, in all his hopelessness, Dean could only think that it all just doesn’t matter. Cas was safe. _This was important_. But he couldn’t leave this world without…

It took all of Dean’s strength to open his eyes completely and watch the angel’s face through his blurred field of vision.

 

“Cas... _please_. Look at me.”

 

And although this was not quite the scene he had imagined to finally look into these human eyes again, Castiel sealed his gaze with Dean’s.

Cas could see the extraordinary green of Dean’s irises faded into a misty marsh of impenetrable shadows. But the moment Cas laid his deep look on him, Dean smiled blissfully, as if this was everything he ever needed. To Castiel, it felt like a ray of soothing light that rose from the depth of Dean’s soul to shine right through his eyes - trying to connect with the angel’s grace.

After some endless seconds, Dean was too weak to hold his eyes open any longer, so he closed them again, his wounded chest now rose and fell very slowly and his pulse was getting weaker. Life ran out of Dean Winchester’s body, Cas could feel it with every faint breath.

 

And apparently there was nothing he could do.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> …*hides in a corner* -> Okay people, you can throw the tomatoes now… :P  
> This was so damn hard to write… After rereading it the twentieth time, I really thought to myself _WTF am I doing here?!_ *sob*
> 
> Well. And because I'm obviously a cruel person, I want to announce, that I’ll be on vacation for the next 2,5 weeks… this means, I won’t be able to post the next chapter until the end of August… :/ I apologize in advance, and hope you guys stay with me until the very end… Because this is NOT the end, ya hear me!! :D
> 
> Anyway, **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!** If you have a little time, I would be so happy if you leave a comment or a kudo; I’d love to hear what you think!
> 
> If you want to shout at me on tumblr, I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) there.


	11. Venus I - [the concept of grace]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean is badly wounded and on the brink of death. Is there still hope for them in this world without grace, where no celestial powers seem to work?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> YEY, I’m finally back, my friends! :D I know, this was a long hiatus, and I apologize that you had to wait so long for the next chapter!  
> I’m so thrilled about all the lovely comments and support I'm getting from you guys, it’s amazing!! THANK YOU SO MUCH! Every single kudo, comment, tumblr-post makes my day! <3<3
> 
> My dear [cutie1365](https://cutie1365.tumblr.com/) \- Thank you so much for taking your time and beta reading again – you saved the day. ^^
> 
> Phew, enough talking, let’s see what happens to our squad… can Dean be saved?  
> The lyrics at the beginning are taken from the popular song “Venus” by Sleeping at last, interlude lines and chapter-additive out of “Bad Blood”, by Sleeping at last as well.

Chapter 11 **\- VENUS I** \- [the concept of grace]

* * *

  _***_

_The night sky once ruled my imagination_

_Now I turn the dials with careful calculation_

_After a while, I thought I’d never find you_

_I convinced myself that I would never find you_

_When suddenly I saw you._

_At first I thought you were a constellation_

_I made a map of your stars, then I had a revelation_

_You’re as beautiful as endless_

_You’re the universe I’m helpless in._

_***_

 

The first thing he felt was the soothing warmth on his skin. A gentle breeze stroked his face when he finally opened his eyes.

An azure sky with fluffy cotton clouds stretched above him. The sheer endlessness, painted in a light lilac hue, was somehow surreal. Dean could not remember a sky like this.

He was lying on soft ground, and he was barefoot. As he raised his head and looked down on him, he saw his toes sticking out of white, powdery sand. He could hear waves rushing nearby and yes, there it was: The wide, beautiful blue ocean. How it shone in the sunlight, always in different shades of blue and green depending on the angle of view, let him hold his breath for a moment. The white froth left foamy patterns on the wet, glossy shore, exposing holes of hundreds of tiny crabs.

The beach was stunning. Looking around, he saw those unique bright green bushes of soft grass swaying in the wind. Some small sandpipers bathed in the waves or scurried away from the water as it moved toward them. Everything was so peaceful.

He deeply inhaled the fresh and salty air, closing his eyes. As he let his head fall back again, he recognized, that he was lying on somebody’s thighs. Muscular male thighs. Curiously, he tilted his head, opening his eyes in astonishment.

It was like looking into the sky again. But not that ordinary sky above him. No. There were those familiar colors of the most beautiful shades of blue he knew. He saw right into Castiel’s eyes. The angel _let_ him look into them.

“This is a dream.” Dean said slowly and a little disappointed, closing his eyes.

“How do you know?” Cas asked.

A little smile played around the corner of Dean’s mouth. “Because this is my dream, my _good dream_ … of us… no sorrow, no pain… so I just _know_ , this could never happen in real life.”

“Hm. Do you think Gabriel is the only one who is able to do some tricks?”

“Oh… Huh. Then… why are you showing me this?” Dean opened his eyes again. “How do you even know…” he added, slightly confused.

“I know you, Dean… more than you might expect.” Cas tried to smile, but he blinked a bit too often and Dean sensed that something was wrong. He looked into Castiel’s face that was full of solicitude, and suddenly remembered.

He was stabbed. Seriously injured. He remembered, that the last thing he saw was Cas’ starry gaze, only clouded by his own damn tears.

Dean swallowed hard. “How bad is it, Cas?” he asked, unable to hide the rising panic inside him. His mouth was dry. “ _Am I dead?!_ ” Voice almost cracking, he answered the question himself. “Yeah, of course. This must be Heaven.”

Cas slightly shook his head. “You’re not dead, Dean. At least… not yet.”

“Oh. Alright. That’s… good then, I guess?”

“Yes, Dean. It’s all good. Now sleep.”

“No, Cas. You have to explain this to me now… I was wounded, so much for that. Shouldn’t I be dead? You couldn’t heal me, right?”

Despite feeling uncomfortable, Cas tried to explain and looked for the right words.

“Dean, something has happened, that even I do not fully understand. In the very moment when you were about to die, I felt it deep inside of me… Your soul, it… it stretched out to my grace and reactivated a part of my powers. I can not heal you completely, but I could keep your body from dying. You’re in a kind of coma right now.”

The hunter sat up. “My soul stretched out to your grace? How is that even possible?”

“I… I don’t really know, Dean, but maybe…”

“The bond.” Dean nodded, eyes opened wide. “This must be it. Cas, you were right, we are somehow… connected.”

Castiel looked at Dean. How he said it, it all sounded so easy, so plausible. It was the only reasonable explanation, and Cas knew it was true. He just wondered why Dean was accepting it so lightly. Honestly, he thought Dean would be more uncomfortable or afraid of a certain interdimensional connection to an angel.

“Yes, maybe…” Cas only muttered. “But you should sleep now, Dean… Sleep.” He raised his hand, two fingers were about to touch Dean’s forehead. The hunter knew what this meant and tried to dodge the touch.

“Woah, no way, Cas, don’t you dare send me back to sleep! What the hell is going on out there? Tell me, Cas! Cas…” Dean’s last words already came in a sleepy voice and then the hunter’s head fell down on Castiel’s thighs.

The angel looked down on the man whose chest now rose and fell in steady breaths. Dean Winchester looked completely safe and peaceful, like nothing bad could ever harm this extraordinary human being.

 _You know what’s really important to the universe, Dean?_ Cas thought sadly.

_You._

And aloud he said, “I’ll keep you safe, I promise.”

 

***

 _Like firewood burning bright_  
_In the dead of the winter, by only a flicker_  
_We cling to this life_  
_Is it faith or prediction, will or tradition,_  
_Until we collapse_

 _Our hesitant fingerprints trace every mountain_  
_Lace every valley_  
_Until we’re convinced_  
_That we know it all by heart_  
_The whole is greater than the sum of its parts_  
_Every blade of grass bears our mark_  
_In the name of being brave_  
_Though it’s just another word for being afraid._

***

 

Samandriel was the first to reach them. He looked down on Castiel, who was still trying to stop the bleeding from Dean’s chest, obviously in deep concentration. Suddenly, a familiar force hit the angel and let him gasp in surprise. So his senses had not deceived him. It was weak, but it was there. _Grace._

The gleaming blue light streamed out of Castiel’s body, enwinding Dean and the archangel himself. Like liquid lapis lazuli, the grace spread on the ground around them, carving a beautiful scintillating pattern in the dirt. Enochian signs of protection.

“Castiel… your grace… it is awoken. It is not much, but... What happened? Is Dean…?” His voice cracked.

Cas, still holding Dean like it was everything that counted in his life, barely didn’t listen. It was only when Sam finally reached the spot where he crouched on the ground, holding the lifeless body tightly, that Castiel’s presence seemed fully restored in the present. The blue light faded away, yet the contours of the pattern on the ground remained.

“ _DEAN_!” the younger Winchester cried out loud and let fall down all of his weapons and equipment. He immediately kneeled down opposite Cas, examining his brother with the most fearful expression Cas had ever seen on him. Sam gently touched Dean’s forehead and cheek and tried to pull the trench coat off the wound, probably to take a closer look at the injury.

“Sam, let it be.”

“Woah, Cas, the hell I’ll let it be!” Sam looked him straight in the eyes, his aura pulsating in grim determination. “I can take care of his wounds and we bring him to the rift. Take him back home. I can take care of his wounds.” He repeated, still fumbling with the coat which was soaked in dark red blood. “I did this a hundred times before…”

Samandriel put a hand on Sam’s shoulder to calm him down. “Sam, he’s on the brink of death. Castiel is right.”

“I let him sleep, put him in a coma…..” Cas started to explain.

Sam’s pure, uncontrolled desperation broke out of him. “Damn, it’s _Dean_ , Cas!” He shouted and tore the coat finally away with shaky hands. “Why don’t you just get the bloody stone and…”

But Sam stopped scolding all of a sudden, as he exposed the awful wound that gaped on his brother’s chest.

“Oh God…” Sam breathed and his eyes filled with tears. He looked to Cas, a pleading look on his face. “Can’t you…” he tried to swallow down the tears. “Can’t you really do _nothing_ at all?”

Castiel realized, that Jack and Kaia were looking down on him too. They were covered with dirt and blood, just like everyone of them. They were all waiting for an answer. For a ray of hope.

“I saved him from an immediate death, Sam, but I think we don’t have much time. Samandriel,” he addressed the young angel, “If I’d try to concentrate the grace inside me… maybe you can try to open a rift and send us back to our world?”

This was the only good idea he could think of. Taking Dean to the other rift in the forest, was not an option. Dean wouldn’t survive a six-hour hike in this condition. Besides, if they were attacked by monsters… _But wait_.

“Tell me, where did all the monsters go?” Cas asked curiously as he looked around. No monsters were anywhere to be seen.

Samandriel looked at Jack. Yes, the Nephilim must have felt it too.

“That was kind of interesting”, Samandriel contemplated. “As you tried to heal Dean, Jack and I felt an energy that must have definitely been your grace. There was a brief flash of bright light from your direction, and the monsters suddenly all fled.”

Jack nodded. “Yeah, maybe they couldn’t relate to this unfamiliar force and it’s likely completely unnatural and frightening for them.”

Sam looked helpless and confused. “Huh. What now? So you angels can use your powers again?”

“No, it’s really just a very low level of grace that we can use. But as Castiel said, I can try to open a rift to send Dean back to our world, where he can be healed. I have the ingredients for the spell here.” Samandriel explained, pointing at his backpack.

Cas was glad that at least Samandriel kept thinking logical. His own thoughts were only with Dean, and he kept holding the hunter tightly to his chest, afraid to lose him after all if he should ease the connection even slightly. Dean’s heartbeat was so terribly weak… Only a small number of heart cells kept the muscle pounding.

“I see,” Sam said quietly. “All right, let’s do this. Can I help you with something, Samandriel?” he asked the angel, who already began to unpack the stuff they needed for the spell. Sam wanted to distract himself from the sight of his injured brother and do something useful.

Castiel answered instead. “Sam, I know it’s hard for you and it’s the last thing you want to do right now, but I need you to get the stone, together with Kaia. Jack and Samandriel will help you as soon as we’re finished here. Can you do that? We came so far, and the monsters seem to be gone now, we have to take that chance…”

Sam gave the angel an undefinable look. He trusted Cas, almost like he trusted his brother, but letting them go, without knowing if Dean would be alright, was almost too much for him. On the other hand, Sam knew that the stone was necessary and Cas was right: They really came that far. Eventually, the monsters would return.

“All right. Then I’ll go to the temple with Kaia. Jack, you stay with them and you and Samandriel can catch up with us, when Dean and Cas made it through the rift.”

Jack agreed. But then something came to his mind. “Wait! We have to close the rift when Cas and Dean are through. Otherwise the returning monsters could follow you!”

“Good point, Jack.” Samandiel said appreciatively. “Then we’ll make a very small rift. We only use a tiny little bit of grace. Well, there won’t be much grace anyway…” He skilfully began to mix the sparse ration of ingredients.

Sam snorted. “Ha. I just hope, the bunker won’t be full of monsters when we return. Okay, when this rift here is gone, we have to return to the one through which we came earlier. This will be at least a six-hour hike.” He looked up to assess the position of the sun. “It must be late afternoon now. So don’t expect us until tomorrow morning.” The Winchester said to Castiel and collected his weapons from the ground.

Kaia, who didn’t say a word the whole time, finally raised her voice. “Sam, I think we should go now. After nightfall, the monsters will return. It’s their time, and as much as they may fear your holy light”, she raised her chin and pointed with her spear to Cas, “they for sure grow stronger in darkness.”

“Well, then. Cas…” Sam began, but what could he possibly say? Honestly, there was no one who would take better care of Dean than Cas.

“Yes, Sam?” Castiel asked. The angel’s worried face, the deep wrinkles on this forehead, his weary expression… This was exactly how Sam felt as well.

He swallowed hard. “Just… just watch over him, okay?”

“I will, Sam. Don’t worry. He will be alright.”

Sam watched the angel lowering his head to look down on Dean and stroke the hair on his head so gentle, like it was fragile as the wings of a butterfly.

 _Yes. There’s an angel watching over you, Dean._ Sam thought with a faint smile.

With one last look at his brother, he turned his back to their friends and together with Kaia he continued on their way through the maze. Bushes were still burning here and there, and dozens of dead bodies covered the ground. The giant lay across several rows of hedges, the burnt flesh still stank dreadfully as they passed him by.

 

***

 

After Samandriel had taken a little bit of grace from a wound on Castiel’s arm, he opened the rift with the now-familiar spell. It was just a thin line hovering in the air, almost invisible.

“Well, you better hurry, Castiel. I don’t think this rift will stay open for longer than three minutes.” the young angel suggested.

Castiel wasted no time and straightened up. He was very careful not to move Dean too much. Then he brought his arms under Dean's back and knees and effortlessly lifted the hunter from the ground. His right arm hung down in an uncomfortable position, so Jack carefully put Dean’s arm on the trench coat on his chest.

“Thank you, Jack. And Samandriel. For everything.” Castiel said sincerely. “Now go, follow Sam and Kaia. They’ll need your help to get to the stone. Please be careful, all of you. The traps in the temple are unlikely to be easy to circumvent.”

Jack nodded. “We’ll make it, Cas. You take care of Dean, everything will be fine.”

With the motionless Dean in his arms, Castiel stepped into the rift, and with a brief flash of light, he was gone. Not a second too early, because the pale gap between the two worlds disappeared shortly after.

Samandriel put his backpack on his shoulders. “Let’s go, Jackie, we have to find the others.”

 

***

 

Castiel really didn’t know where on earth they would possibly come out, and he was not really surprised as he saw the familiar house, reflecting the colors of the upcoming sunset. This place was something special for sure; magic and supernatural powers seemed to be exceptionally strong here. He wondered if it had anything to do with Jack being born here.

He hurried to the entrance and pushed the door open. Dean groaned in pain, a jump through dimensions was certainly not the best in his badly injured condition. Castiel climbed the stairs and finally, he laid Dean down on the bed.

Cas removed his trench coat and immediately began to heal Dean's wounds. Only now did he notice how his grace flowed through him again, as if a dam had been broken. He had to be careful not to fire Dean's body with the full force.

He had healed Dean countless times, but this injury was very persistent. It closed very slowly, and Cas also had to rebuild the internal organs one by one. The angel suddenly was seriously concerned that he could not heal the wound completely, since it was inflicted with Kaia’s spear that could even get dangerous for archangels. But the healing worked well. Probably only a scar would remain.

It was already after midnight when Cas was reasonably sure that all of Dean’s organs, bones, and nerves were fixed and in place. Anyhow, he let Dean sleep, as he would only be concerned if he learned that Sam and the others were still in the Bad Place. And what he needed now most was to rest and get some sleep.

Although Castiel did not like it very much, he left Dean alone and stepped out of the house. He needed to take some steps in the fresh air. The calm waters of the lake reflected the risen moon in all its splendor and the stars twinkled in the sky in the thousands. His angel eyes saw the great Saturn, Jupiter and other planets, far away, yet so near, considering the size of the universe.

However, no star was as beautiful and stunning as Venus. Its amazingly bright reflection of sunlight was unique. And he knew no other place than earth, where a simple planet had such a deep magnificence to its residents.

He was there, billions of years ago, when his father created it. Just like he witnessed the creation of this whole, beautiful solar system…

 

~*~

_"This is going to be significant, my children.”  
_

Cas heard Chuck speaking like it was just yesterday. _  
_

_“Humans will be fascinated by the stars and planets, they will study them for generations and yet they will never know everything about them. They will find them beautiful and terrifying at the same time.”  
_

_“What will they see when they look into the sky, father?” The young archangel Castiel asked.  
_

_“Oh, they’ll see a sparkling sea of infinite beauty, mysterious and beyond comprehension. And looking up there will remind them that they are small, just tiny little grains of sand in the vast wheel of life.”  
_

_“But… isn’t it sad to feel this way?” Cas reflected innocently.  
_

_“Not at all! Because after looking at the stars, they will look into the eyes of their beloved ones and realize that being small doesn’t matter, as long as they have each other. As long as they love, they will always feel great and important and unique. They’ll appreciate what they have been given_ _all the more_ _.”  
_

_Castiel understood that._

~*~

 

 _Venus…_ At a time when satellites and navigation systems did not yet exist, it was, alongside with other stellar constellations, the most important luminary in the sky. It helped the sailors to find their way across the wide ocean. It had such a great appeal on humanity that they named gods after it. Or the planet after the gods, who knew? In mythology, it was the star of the goddess of beauty, a symbol of love.

 _Love…_ this reminded him of some other words his father recently said.

_“So Dean Winchester earned your loyalty, your respect… and your heart, without ever knowing it. Not even until now, am I right?”_

In front of his inner eye, Castiel still saw Dean’s facial expression as he was about to die. His desperate wish to Cas, to look him in the eyes, maybe for the last time, felt like a stab in his heart. And now that Dean seemed to be okay, this thought felt strangely warm inside him. It spread like a burning flame and there was no way to put it out.

He had looked into Dean Winchester’s eyes, and this act did something to his grace. It had awakened it in a godless world. In a world, where celestial power should never even exist.

Yes, something happened between him and Dean, there was no denying about that. Dean was right. It must be their bond. _Could it be, that…_

Cas chuckled to himself and shook his head. No, Dean was only a very close friend. The _closest_ , actually. But he should not confuse friendship with love. And all the long lingering glances and ambiguous comments... That was just Dean’s nature.

The moon was slowly setting, dawn was approaching. It was about time to look after Dean, and wake him up.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Wow, this was longer than expected! :D I hope you enjoyed the read! Of course, Cas took care of Dean. And after Venus I… comes Venus II, so stay tuned, guys! ;-) <3
> 
>  **THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR READING!** Your comments and kudos mean the world to me, so if you could spend some minutes, I’d love to hear what you think!
> 
> Wanna visit me on tumblr – Yey! I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/).


	12. Venus II - [crack the shutters]

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas brought Dean back to their world and healed his wounds. But how will the hunter react when he wakes up and finds out that Sam and the others are still in the Bad Place? Castiel thinks he is prepared for this conversation, but it turns out that not even a mighty archangel is immune to such tidal waves of emotions.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! :D I finally finished the next chapter! It’s a little bit longer, but… there was no reason to keep it short, hehe. ;)
> 
> Thank you so much to ALL the incredibly kind readers who left kudos and all those lovely comments so far… You rock my world, you know that?! :D <3 I love you, guys.
> 
> What would I do without [cutie1365](https://cutie1365.tumblr.com/) \- Thank you so much for being such an awesome beta-reader! <3
> 
> Not much to say about this chapter, just… I’m so glad to finally show it to you. :D  
> Once more, the lyrics at the beginning are from the song “Venus” by Sleeping at last; interlude lines and chapter-additive from “Crack the shutters”, by Snow Patrol. Oh geez, what a perfect song.

Chapter 12 **\- VENUS II** [crack the shutters]

* * *

 ***

_You’re as beautiful as endless_

_You’re the universe I’m helpless in_

_An astronomer at my best_

_When I throw away the measurements_

_Like a telescope, I will pull you so close_

_‘Til no space lies in between_

_And suddenly I see you._

_I was a billion little pieces_

_‘Til you pulled me into focus_

_Astronomy in reverse,_

_It was me who was discovered_

_***_

 

“Another dream, Cas? This time the lake, not the sea? You’re running out of ideas, buddy…”

Dean had opened his eyes and recognized the little room immediately. He blinked a few times until his eyes fell on Castiel, who was sitting on a wooden chair next to the bed. The angel had just woken him with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder.

“This is not a dream, Dean. I brought you back to our world. I healed you.” The angel said softly.

It took Dean a few seconds to process this information. Then, he hastily tore off the blanket, with which Cas had carefully covered him earlier. He wanted to take a look at his injury.

As he looked down on his bare torso, he only saw a pale scar, in the middle of his chest. Dean ran his fingers over it and winced at the touch.

Cas didn’t miss that and frowned. “Does it still hurt, Dean?” he asked in concern.

“No, it’s fine… I think it’s still just a little sensitive…” Dean mumbled and let his head fall back on the white pillow. Now that he wasn’t in pain anymore, he had already thought of something else. “Who took my shirt off?” He asked in a serious tone.

Castiel froze. “Dean, I…” he swallowed. “Is this really so important now?”

“So, _you_ took it off, to heal me… of course.” Dean said, smirking. “Liked what you saw in the bathroom earlier, didn’t ya?”

“Well I… I had to, I…” Cas stuttered helplessly, but then he was interrupted by Dean, who straightened up and swung his legs over the edge of the bed. His pants were covered in dirt, ash and… blood.

 _Hm, at least he didn’t take off those as well…_ Dean thought and suddenly he felt kinda strange.

“Never mind,” the hunter said to get them out of this awkward situation. “The others, are they downstairs? Did you get the stone?” he added, and took some quick steps toward the door.

Castiel had been afraid of this question, but of course it was inevitable. “Dean, listen. I don’t know if they already have the stone. The others… they are still in the Bad Place.”

Dean, who just reached the door, stopped in his movement. Cas could sense the other man’s heartbeat increasing, as the hunter slowly turned around. An incredulous expression spread on Dean’s face.

“What?” Dean said with a shaky voice, glaring at the angel. Then, the anger inside him arose like a roaring animal and he shouted: “You left them behind? _There? Are you kidding me??”_

He approached Cas, grabbed him by his collar. “How could you?! How could you leave them alone in this fucked-up chaos?” Dean’s voice trembled uncontrollably and he pushed the angel hard away from him.

They were facing each other in the middle of the small bedroom. The cloudless sky outside slowly changed its color into a pale, beautiful dawn and the first birds started to sing their morning songs. Neither of them noticed any of that.

Cas tried to stay calm. He knew, Dean would react like that, and he was aware of the hunter’s biggest fears. “Sam and the others stayed there to get the stone, Dean. You know how important this is.”

“Fuck the damn stone! Why didn’t you go back and help them fight against those monsters? There were so many! You should’ve stayed with them instead of sitting next to this bed the whole time!” Dean barked angrily, gesticulating toward the bed.

“The rift closed right after we were through! And the rift in the bunker that leads to the Bad Place, is a 6 hour walk away from the maze, you know that.” The angel reminded him. “Anyway, I had to help _you_ first, Dean, the others were alright! The giant is dead and the rest of the monsters fled! They could handle the situation!”

Cas sighed deeply. Now, he was in rage too. Arguing with Dean could be a nerve-racking affair, because if something could possibly harm his family in the slightest - especially Sam - the Winchester turned into a furious lion. Cas loved this trait, but at some point, it was too much. Particularly when it came to Dean’s own health.

“Don’t you understand it?” Cas continued, “You were hurt so badly, I just had to bring you back! You almost _died_ over there, Dean! It was messy... there was blood… so much blood… I thought I had lost you!”

Cas unconsciously looked to his coat, which hung carelessly at the foot of the bed. Dean followed his gaze and saw the bloody trench coat. It was certainly completely ruined because of the large blood stains. His blood. He swallowed.

“Well,” Dean said, trying to control his voice, “I sincerely hope that they’re okay. If Sammy or the kid will get killed, I don’t… I…” his voice broke.

Cas shook his head. “They will be alright, Dean. They have Kaia and Samandriel with them, they are skilled warriors.”

There was a little pause while Cas thought about if it was a good idea to ask the question he had on the tip of his tongue. He pulled himself together.

“So much for that. But tell me, what in _God’s name_ did you think you were doing, jumping between me and this monster?” Cas finally asked, eyebrows contracted.

Dean couldn’t believe how the angel could ask such a question. _Really now?_

“What’cha wanna hear, Cas?! That you are a part of our weird family? That I was a whining, depressed, grumpy picture of misery when you were gone? That I can’t lose you again? Fine, maybe _that’s why_! I couldn’t let this thing stab you in the back!” Dean raised his arms in resignation. “You’re welcome!”

But he wasn’t finished yet. He pointed his finger at Castiel.

“But what have they done with you up there, huh? You’re avoiding even looking me in the eyes because you think I’m _your weakness_!” he snapped and then laughed sarcastically. “Aha, but yes, of course, you are afraid. Afraid of being happy. This is a whole new level of absurdity. It’s _ridiculous_. You know that, right?” Dean shook his head and looked to the side. The pent-up frustration of the last days spilled finally over. “This is by far the stupidest deal I’ve ever heard of.”

Castiel’s lips tightened. Most likely Sam had told him about their conversation in the Temple of Flames. That was too much, indeed. And he was so tired of repeating himself again and again about the threat of the Empty. He took a deep breath.

“Of course I am afraid! An incredibly powerful entity is about to destroy everything we know, just because it can! It is awake and unpredictable! So please don’t blame me for being a little concerned! And by the way, who do you think _I_ fought for, huh, Dean? Since I walked this earth I did everything for you, I’ve even surrendered my own being!”

Dean’s eyes widened.

“Excuse me? What do mean with you _surrendered your own being_?” Dean hissed, because this goddamn angel was talking in riddles again.

Cas did not intend to tell Dean about _why_ God turned him into a common angel back then. Dean just didn’t need to know. He felt his grace welling up and with his persistent words, Dean was about to incur the angel’s wrath. This human really strained his nerves to the limit and he was about to lose control. Still, Cas remained silent. He needed to calm down.

However, Dean did not give up asking and placed his hands on Cas’ shoulders, slightly shaking him. “What the hell do you mean, angel?”

Cas tried to get rid of Dean’s grip, but the hunter wouldn’t let go. “Look at me and tell me!” Dean said firmly.

 

_Enough now._

 

“I said, _don’t_!” Cas growled and his uncontrolled power broke out, abrasively turning them both around, so Dean found himself nailed against the wall, no air left in his lungs. There was no chance to escape Cas’ tight grip.

Archangel eyes lit up for a moment in blue fire. The grace inside Cas’ vessel seethed dangerously and made the air around them whir ominously.

Castiel’s mouth was now so close to Dean’s ear, the hunter could hear him breathing heavily. He felt the warm exhalation against his neck as Cas spoke.

“Would you - for once - stop provoking me. Did you forget, what I am? That I could make you whine with just one blink of an eye?” the archangel menaced, gritting his teeth.

“Cas…” Dean managed to say in his breathlessness. His back was aching because the angel didn’t treat him very gently. Wood was creaking as he tried to move a little. _No way_ to get out of this mess. Pressed against a wall by the one after he had secretly longed for too damn long. Too many emotions, conserved inside his soul for a decade. Wrapped up carefully, only coming to light in his dreams. Too much time passed by without working this out. _Fuck…_

Dean swallowed hard. Cas doubtlessly heard his far too rapid heartbeat. It almost hurt how the organ pounded against the inside of his chest and up his throat.

He licked his lips. “You wouldn’t need your angel power to do this…” His heart skipped a beat.

 

“ _Dammit_ , don’t you see it… I’m yours.”

 

Words have been said, and they both held their breaths. It was in this moment, as the first rays of the morning sun fought their way across the horizon and through the window and illuminated both of their faces in a delicate shimmer.

And finally, like an eruption in the deepest point of the ocean, like one of those earthquakes that caused disastrous tsunamis, Castiel’s black eyelashes rose, revealing two full, perfect irises of everlasting blue that looked right into Dean’s eyes now.

Cas’ body felt unlocked, released from a heavy burden he carried around since he set foot on earth again as an archangel. All possible feelings rushed over him in tidal waves and he felt it… Felt it deep inside his core. There was no turning back now.

 

He was trapped in Dean’s crystal clear, emerald doors to his soul. They were not blurred anymore by the dust of death, no, they were like freshly green buds, sprouting in spring, but there was a wildness in them that made Cas’ inner core vibrate. How could he ever consider to stay away from this incredible soul, just to never feel that kind of joy again? He saved this man from hell, and he would do it again and again. This was worth every repeating apocalypse, every fall of angels, every torture he ever had to endure.

Maybe it was impossible to imagine for humans, but he felt like the stars were veiled until this precious moment, and now he could see them for the first time for real, in their overarching singularity. Looking into Dean’s eyes as an archangel, made him evocative of the moment he laid a hand on him in hell for the first time. The fragments fell into place. Subconsciously he always knew it, but now the realization bubbled up to the surface, filling him entirely.

_Dean was his universe._

 

Dean felt like being on a not-yet-invented drug, because this feeling was just overwhelming. He didn’t know if it was because Cas was an archangel now, but the power the angel radiated, was almost more than he could bear. He has always been fascinated by the intensity of these eyes. Now their gazes were sealed, and time stood still. All of a sudden, his head was completely empty.

Then the well-known blue of Cas’ eyes suddenly turned into something even more intense, the blackness of his pupils seemed to bleed out on the edges, turning those twelve-millimetre-sapphire-treasures into a window to the universe. And Dean could literally _see_ infinity, yes, he even saw golden dots like stars sparkling in there. Dean did not forget who Cas was.

_Cas was his saviour._

 

Castiel was still pushing him against the wall and they were so close now, so damn close, their bodies touched almost everywhere. Dean felt the heat inside his body rising, sweeping up and down, from head to toe. His naked torso didn’t make it better. He felt the angel’s chest press against him, unconsciously causing his sensitive nipples to stand. Dean couldn’t help himself, but if this wouldn’t stop right now, a certain part of his body would definitely require much more space after all.

And then, as the tension was almost palpable - literally a whirring sound around them - Castiel, new born archangel of the Lord, night-sky-wing of the front line, current commander of Heaven’s armies, finally crashed his lips upon Dean Winchester’s.

Stormy and somehow desperate, like being lost in the desert for an entire lifetime, finally tasting the salvific pureness of fresh water. Not in the thousands and thousands of years of his existence, he had ever felt something like this. There were tears forming behind his closed eyes, because he didn’t plan to do this, he completely lost control, he forced Dean into this impossible situation, without a chance to get out, he was sorry, so sorry…

Endless fractions of seconds passed by, feeling like rolling thunder, waiting for the lightning to strike, only to drown in torrents of emotions.

 

_No…_

Dean Winchester won’t let him drown. All the pain and hesitation fell away from the hunter, as he felt those soft lips on his own. _Oh God_ , how many times had he imagined how they might taste, and he was so sure he would be prepared if it happened at some point, but hell, he was not.

Ten years of silent pining were swept away in less than a second. The time that passed had no meaning, because he still saw the angel Castiel, approaching him in that barn, shining bright in holy radiation, otherworldly and strong, unlike anything he had ever faced before. Deep inside, he knew it then. Cas hadn’t even said a word and Dean already knew that this being would have a hold on him forever.

Everything they had been through together since then, convinced him all the more. But hiding behind a stupid mask of coolness and floating on a cloud of repression, the barricade around his heart grew high and impenetrable through the years. It was an incredible relief to finally feel those already cracked walls finally collapsing.

Carefully, he parted his lips. Showing the other, that it was okay, that he was welcome here, of course, everything was alright. The first roughness of Cas’ desperate kiss faded and left behind the pleasant feeling, that this was not just an accidental stumble. So the angel’s lips, incomparable tender, opened up too.

As their tongues met for the first time, Dean’s knees became so weak, he would have surely caved in, if Cas had not held him upright somehow.

Dean slowly raised his arms and wrapped them around the angel. He needed hold, and Cas could give it to him. He stroked his back up and down while they continued to kiss. Dean absolutely didn’t know where Cas learned to kiss _like this_ or if it maybe was just pure instinct - he couldn’t care less. _This was exquisite_. Feeling those lips finally upon his own, sent pleasant shivers up and down his spine.

A silent moan escaped Cas’ throat, as Dean slid his fingertips across the angel’s shoulder blades. Oh yes, the sensitive area back there. Dean wanted to know everything about Castiel, this walking miracle, all his secret, delicate spots, he wanted to explore all of his wonderful body. _Right now_.

His cock was already almost hard and because they still stood so close, he could feel an unequivocal bulge growing against his own crotch. _Oh sweet Lord…_ Cas wanted him just as much. That realization made Dean slide his tongue deeper in the angel’s mouth, exploring him entirely.

“Dean, I…” Cas gasped breathlessly and broke their deep kiss to look in Dean’s eyes. “I didn’t mean to do this... I’m sorry.”

“Shut up, Cas. There’s nothing to apologize for, okay? Sooner or later, I would’ve done this myself, but apparently I’m a silly coward who just feels helpless in the presence of an angel sometimes…” Dean raised his chin and with a little smirk, let his hands run down a little lower, until he reached Cas’ waistband. Then he said more seriously, “I’m the one who’s sorry. I didn’t even thank you for saving me. Again. I owe you my life.”

Cas placed his palm on Dean’s temple to gently stroke the hunter’s cheek with his thumb. “Sam was right, Dean… You really are… my weakness.” He looked into Dean’s eyes. Deeper than ever, until his gaze reached the depth of Dean's soul. Cas already had seen it before, but he wanted to make sure once more that those feelings he saw were absolutely real and existent. And he found it. Desire, hope, faithfulness, love,...

 _Love_.

The last doubts fell from his heart. He was not afraid anymore to say the words, because he knew now, Dean wouldn’t run from him.

“I love you, Dean.”

 

And before Dean could even react, Castiel locked their lips again. There was so much passion and an immense tenderness in that kiss, that it took Dean’s breath away. Never has he been kissed like this before.

 _I love you I love you I love you_ …

The words still echoed in Dean’s head. He saw stars flashing on the inside of his eyelids as he closed them and began to return the kiss no less intensely. Inwardly he swore to God himself that if the apocalypse or another freakin’ end of the world broke loose now, he wouldn’t give a damn. He would….

 

Suddenly, there was a ringing sound. A cell phone. It came from the bloodstained coat. Cas' mobile.

Dean intended to ignore the annoying ringing and he grabbed Cas by his belt, wanted him to stay close, but the angel pulled away. “Dean… I think this could be Sam. He said, he’d call when they’re back from the Bad Place and we’re not at the bunker.”

Without waiting for Dean’s permission, Cas fished the phone out of the pocket. In fact, Sam’s name showed up on the screen. But before Cas could answer the call, Dean tore the thing out of his hands and pushed the blinking green button.

“Sammy!” he shouted hoarsely, still a bit out of breath. “Are you alright?!”

 

***

 _Crack the shutters open wide_  
_I wanna bathe you in the light of day_  
_And just watch you as the rays_  
_Tangle up around your face and body_

 _I could sit for hours_  
_Finding new ways to be awed each minute_  
_'Cause the daylight seems to want you_  
_Just as much as I want you_

***

 

“Dean! Cas!” the younger Winchester called out as they popped up in the bunker library.

“We came as quick as we could. Where is Samandriel?” Cas demanded immediately.

“He’s in Jack’s room.” Sam informed him. The angel rushed out of the room. Sam turned to his brother and examined him from head to toes. “Are you alright, Dean?”

“Everything’s good, Sammy. Cas could heal the wound.” Dean ensured. He was still a little shaky because of the damn flight. _Or maybe not just because of the flight…_

Sam pulled his brother into a short hug. Now that he saw Dean face to face, the rock on his heart finally fell off. Dean was alright. His brother was okay.

Unlike Samandriel. Sam had already told them briefly on the phone that they indeed managed it to get the sacred stone, but Samandriel was injured. He stepped into one of the traps in the temple and got pierced by several arrows. They seemed to excrete a strange, unknown poison that made him unable to move. With the help of Kaia and her tribe, they brought him to the rift and back to their own world. They only hoped that Castiel was able to heal Samandriel as well.

 

After Sam called them, Dean and Cas flew to the bunker immediately. Dean was endlessly happy to see his brother alive and well, but that call came in the most inopportune moment possible. And he was a little ashamed, for cursing his brother and his ‘perfect’ timing.

 _Cas had kissed him_. And he kissed back. He still felt the angel’s lips on his own, like a sweet version of phantom pain. The tension inside him was so strong, he couldn’t think of anything else but Cas’ strong body underneath his fingertips. Now that they were back in the bunker, everything felt like a dream, and he wasn’t even sure if it actually happened. It was like floating on a cotton cloud, and his guts seemed to be not existent. He needed a drink.

He went to the cupboard, filled two glasses with whiskey and handed one over to Sam. Dean turned the glass in his hands, watching how the golden liquid moved in lazy waves inside the crystal.

“Quite a trip, huh?”

“Quite a trip.” Sam confirmed and sipped on his whiskey.

“Hey,” the younger one said a moment later, “Where have you actually been? Where did you and Cas come out?”

“House by the lake. You know, where every important shit seems to happen lately…” Dean still looked thoughtfully into his glass. And maybe, just maybe, he had this silly, telltale smile on his lips, because Sam continued to ask strange questions.

“And… the healing took so long? Were there complications? Why aren’t you wearing a shirt, by the way?”

“Complications…” Dean said in a dreamy voice. He still felt a bit remotely controlled. Then he looked up from his glass, abruptly woken from his trance.

“What? Is this an interrogation? Dude, my shirt was _torn_ by that friendly monster next door, remember? Didn’t really have the time to go shopping in the meantime, very sorry!”

Sam rolled his eyes and put down his glass. Of course, he had long recognized the slight change in his brother’s face, when it comes to remembering the last few hours. Something was different. Dean certainly hadn’t told him everything, but he stopped asking.

 

Suddenly, they heard steps coming from the hallway and a second later, Castiel showed up, followed by Jack and Samandriel. The young angel seemed to be alright again.

“Are you okay, Samandriel?” Sam wanted to know.

The angel nodded. “Yes, thank you, Sam.” Then his eyes fell on Dean. “I see, you’re alright too, that’s good. Your wounds looked horrible.”

“Yep. Well, lucky us for having an archangel-nurse in the family, right?” Dean joked, and watched Cas.

The said archangel looked back at him, directly, no avoidance, no blinking. Dean knew this expression, he had seen it often enough, but now that he thinks about it, very rarely in the last 2 or 3 years. Mostly, he had dismissed it as an oddity of the guy in the trench coat. But he remembered those gazes that downright _devoured_ him. If he didn’t know better, Dean would have thought Cas was about to undress him with his eyes. He had to correct himself. It was definitely _that_ gaze. His stomach felt like a black hole. The longing was about to consume him.

Dean didn’t even realize, that no one said a word for an entire minute, everyone just looked at him and Cas staring at each other.

Sam cleared his throat. “Alright, uh, here is the stone, Cas.” He pointed at the table, where a little black velvet bag was lying. “Maybe we should insert it right away? Jack, could you be so kind and get the sword?”

They sat down around the table, while Jack went into the dungeon to get the sword.

“You’re right Sam, let’s do this immediately.” Cas agreed.

“Yah, and this time I want to see the magic trick too.” Dean clarified and grabbed the bag. He opened it and let the stone fall on his palm. It was cool and heavy. They all looked down at the emerald on Dean’s hand. It had the same cutting as the ruby – oval with small details. The surface was smooth and the calming green light from its inside shone on their faces.

Cas tilted his head. “It’s beautiful… it has the color of your eyes, Dean.”

Dean coughed and an instant later, he blushed slightly.

Sam frowned and looked back and forth between the two of them. “Whatever…” he chuckled. Dean still glared at him as finally Jack came back with the sword and placed it on the table.

“What was it like? The temple, I mean.” Dean said to divert everyone’s attention from himself. “Difficult to get in?”

Jack shook his head and started to explain. “It was surprisingly easy to find the portal. But Kaia had to offer _a lot_ of blood, much more than Michael – or rather Benjamin – had to in the apocalypse world. She was really weak and exhausted after that… So I stayed with her at the portal, while Sam and Samandriel entered the temple.” Jack looked to Sam, who continued.

“Inside, it looked very simple at first. The altar was in sight, only guarded by an angel statue. But the moment we took a few steps toward the altar, we must have triggered some kind of mechanism… I don’t know. The earth began to quake and suddenly the floor burst open. We decided to do this quickly and jumped over the cracks to snatch the stone before the abyss grew wider. That’s when Samandriel was suddenly pierced by those arrows…”

Samandriel squinted at the thought of the pain. “They came out of nowhere and hit me in the back… I was paralyzed from one second to another. I couldn’t move, I just collapsed and laid there until Sam took me on his shoulders and carried me out of the monument. Then he went back inside for the stone.” The angel looked at Sam with great respect.

Dean on the other hand, was not very enthusiastic as he heard this. “What the hell? You went back in there again although the place broke apart? _Are you insane_?”

Sam raised a hand to calm his brother down. “Dean, I’m okay, right? And we got the stone. One less problem. Besides, I didn’t want to return to this place again… I’m sick of the rain there. And those stupid giants.”

Dean couldn’t help but smile and be proud of his little brother.

After this explanation, it was time to insert the stone into the blade of the Trinity Sword. The ruby was already at its place, above the two remaining empty notches.

“Here.” Dean handed Cas the stone. Sam didn’t miss that their hands slightly brushed against each other during this casual gesture.

Cas placed the green stone on its proper place beneath the first stone, which still emitted the red light. Dean hadn’t witnessed the procedure the first time, so he was really fascinated, as the sword suddenly lit up in different colors. The heavenly weapon shortly vibrated, before the show was over again. Now the two stones shone side by side, red and green, only waiting for the third one to join them. Dean wondered, which color the last one would have.

“Awesome…” was the older Winchester’s only comment, as he stood up and stretched his arms.

 

Cas carefully took the sword and announced that he would bring it back into the dungeon. And away he was.

Sam yawned. “Guys, I think we all need some rest now. It was a tough trip.”

Samandriel and Jack didn’t really need sleep, so they went to the chessboard, where the upholstered chairs stood, and made themselves comfortable there. Sam was sure that they would discuss the recent events again. The two had grown together in the last few days. It was nice to see Jack talking with someone who wasn’t like a parent for him, but someone who could be a real friend. He and Dean didn’t have many friends in their youth.

Dean tore him out of his thoughts. “Well, I think I slept long enough today, I just badly need a shower…” Dean said and looked down at his dirty pants in disgust. “My clothes – or what’s left of them – literally stand in dirt and blood. So…”

“Dean, wait.” Sam approached his brother and whispered, “I don’t know what happened between you and Cas, but… take the chance now and talk to each other, okay?”

Dean eyed him elusively. Sam really didn’t know if his brother thought about punching his face or just preparing for another stupid patter. Then his face softened. “Don’t worry, Sam. Everything is fine between me and Cas.”

And so Dean turned around - leaving a befuddled Sam in the library - to finally go to the bathroom and get a hot, well-deserved shower.

 

***

 

When Cas returned from the dungeon after carefully protecting the sword with all sorts of spells and sigils, he walked through the bunker’s empty hallway. He sensed Jack and Samandriel laughing in the library. He heard Sam’s silent snore. And he knew, Dean was in the bathroom. He stopped in front of said door.

What he was about to do, was dangerous, he was aware. He even expected every moment to be dragged back to Heaven by his father. Much was at stake.

But the bond had rules of its own.

Yes, this was maybe selfish and thoughtless. Sinful… And long overdue.

 

Castiel knocked on the door, only once. Then he pushed down the latch.

 

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> :D
> 
>  **Thank you so much for reading, guys!!** And woah. You can imagine that I am more than curious what you think about this chapter! :D Your kudos and comments mean the world, so if you could take some minutes, it would definitely make my day to hear from you! :D See you next time & take care y’all!
> 
> If you wanna say hello, I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.
> 
> If you liked this chapter, and maybe wanna share it with your followers on tumblr, [here is the link ](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/post/187553493827/the-infinity-of-the-stars-chap-12) to the original post. I’m grateful for the support! ^^


	13. Heaven

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel opens the door and approaches Dean in the bathroom. They don't want to talk much. Finally, their desire breaks through the surface completely and they find themselves overwhelmed by tremendous emotions and wonderful sensations they never felt before.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, guys! :D I know we’re all hungry for this chapter! I’m really sorry, I let you starve for more than two weeks now… But here we go! Writing this chapter… I enjoyed it so much! I’m quite new to this so… let’s see how it turned out. :)
> 
> Just let me proclaim some warnings first.  
> Yes, this chapter contains explicit content. That’s why I changed the rating of the whole fic to “explicit”. Please also check the tags. I hope I don’t make anyone feel uncomfortable now… But don’t worry, if you think this said content is not your kinda thing, please jump from the first horizontal line to the next, for skipping the parts in between.
> 
> For everyone else: ENJOY this epic flight to the stars. :D
> 
> Thank you so much to all the lovely readers out there, who take their precious time and read my fic! This means so much to me! Thanks for all your support, tumblr-reblogs, kudos and comments!!! Because of **YOU** , I am so motivated and thrilled to write this fic! Rock on!
> 
> [cutie1365](https://cutie1365.tumblr.com/) \- Thank you so much for taking your time and beta-read my crazy stuff! You are an angel. <3
> 
> The lyrics at the beginning are from the song “Fire on Fire” by Sam Smith.

Chapter 13 - **HEAVEN**

* * *

 ***

_I don’t say a word_

_But still, you take my breath and steal the things I know_

_There you go, saving me from out of the cold_

_Fire on fire would normally kill us_

_With this much desire, together, we’re winners_

_They say that we’re out of control_

_And some say we’re sinners_

_But don’t let them ruin our beautiful rhythms_

_‘Cause when you unfold me_

_And tell me you love me_

_And look in my eyes_

_You are perfection, my only direction_

_It’s fire on fire._

***

Dean was standing in front of the big mirror, a towel wrapped around his waist and he was just about to trim his beard when he heard a single knock on the door.

A moment later, Castiel entered the steam-filled room. Dean stopped his shaving and smirked. “Aaand once again, you couldn’t wait, right? Feels like a déjà-vu, don’t you think?”

The archangel tilted his head. “Angels don’t have déjà-vus, Dean. I apologize, I just had the feeling that we didn’t really finished what we… started.”

“No, we were…” Dean began, then swallowed hard. He saw Cas’ reflection in the mirror, framed in the little part that has not grown damp, because Dean had wiped the condensation away. His heart pounded up to his throat and his guts ran unnaturally hot. It was a different kind of thing to be kissed without expecting it, but now they were here, in a locked room, and they both knew that there was no need to hide their yearning for each other anymore.

“… Interrupted by a phone call, yes.” Cas finished the sentence for him.

Castiel approached Dean. He still wore his usual suit, the white dress shirt and of course, the royal blue tie. Dean couldn’t say that he missed the trench coat - Cas looked absolutely stunning like this. Like an authoritative tax accountant. He slowly turned around to face the angel.

Their gazes melted into each other like sky and earth on the horizon, forced to collide by an irresistible, magnetic attraction.

With every determined step Cas came closer, Dean was more and more aware of where this had to lead. Cas didn’t look like he wanted to talk much. _Good._

He stopped in front of Dean, whose chest rose and fell pretty fast. Cas’ eyes were locked with Dean’s, but then his gaze wandered all over the hunter’s bare chest, down to his abs and up again to his left shoulder, where his observation came to a halt.

“Hm…” Cas hummed, eyes fixed on Dean’s upper arm. He raised his arm and let his palm hover only inches over the spot on Dean’s skin he was staring at.

“May I?” His voice was so quiet, it was almost just a breath. Dean could only nod. He had a rough idea what the angel wanted to do.

So Castiel laid his hand on Dean Winchester’s shoulder, just like on that fateful day, more than a decade ago, in a place so awful and cruel that no human soul could ever return from there without scars.

Dean’s soul was dragged out of perdition by himself, the broken shards of his extraordinary light were reassembled by his own hands and grace, yet of course, some of those scars remained. But they’ve healed over the years and Castiel watched how Dean grew on them, how he began to believe that he deserved to be saved, a little bit more each day.

Touching him now, in a rather safe place, with the knowledge that Dean’s soul was perfectly intact, beautiful and pure, gave Castiel a deep feeling of tranquillity.

Although the visual mark, his handprint, was long gone, Cas could feel precisely that a small amount of his grace was still there, carved in the cells of Dean’s skin. The grace responded to him as it felt the closeness of its undying source and a bright blue light emerged at the area where they touched.

Dean looked down to his shoulder because it began to feel hot and burn a little. It actually hurt. “What are you doing, Cas?” He growled.

Cas didn’t answer immediately. He removed his hand, and reverently stared at the familiar sign on Dean's arm that was now visible again.

"I… didn’t know that this would happen.” Cas admitted, still in awe. “The mark has been renewed."

Dean examined the reddish mark. “You mean, I have to walk around again with a tattoo of your paw on my shoulder?”

“Not if you don’t want to. I can make it invisible if you want. But don’t forget that this has a deeper meaning, Dean. _When a claim is made on a living soul, it leaves an everlasting mark._ ” The angel recited some ancient celestial lore.

“A claim?” Dean asked curiously, raising an eyebrow.

“We’re bound, Dean. It is true. You and me, we are connected on a level that’s beyond the borders of logical perception.” Castiel added.

The hunter nodded. “Aha. Well, as far as I see it, this is not a bad thing at all.”

He made a little pause and leaned against Cas, so their bodies were now touching. Dean could feel the glowing heat of the angel even through the shirt.

“I enjoy it, being… connected to you. But you know what?” He moved his fingers across Cas’ cheek and jawline. With his thumb, he touched the angel’s bottom lip and pulled it down a little. Those sinful lips, so captivating, in the center of his gaze, just like thousands of times before.

“Enough talking. I don’t wanna waste a second longer.”

* * *

 

And with these words, Dean bridged the distance between their faces and locked their lips. This didn’t catch Castiel by surprise, he wanted the same, of course, and he was ready. They let their tongues slide against each other, like this was a non-rehearsed dance, but for all that they miraculously knew the right steps. Their bodies were in harmony, instinctively, like they always have been. It was a wonderful experience to feel their desire for each other, literally taste it on the other’s lips.

Dean traced his hands alongside Cas’ torso, then sliding underneath the dark blue jacket. The angel stepped closer to him, so Dean was pushed toward the cupboard and felt the wooden edge pressed against his backside. Knowing that there was only a fleecy towel between him and Cas’ crotch, made him kiss the angel even more demandingly.

He wanted Cas to see that he was loved, _loved_ – Even though Dean hasn’t said the specific words yet, he was sure, Cas knew that he loved him. And Dean would show him. He had so much to give to his angel, all the love he buried inside himself for so long, he wanted to give it all to Cas. It made his heart swell.

Castiel could feel Dean’s touch everywhere. On his back, his waistline, and his face. His chest, his backside, his thighs. Dean maybe didn’t know it, but the desire of his soul was even more impatient than his own hands. Because of his sensitive perception, Cas was able to feel Dean’s soul caressing his body all over. This sensation was something he never experienced before, it was unlike everything he knew. It was indescribably beautiful.

Slowly, Dean stripped the jacket off Cas’ shoulders. It glided to the bathroom floor like an abandoned piece of fabric that no one would ever need again. In the dizziness of the situation, Dean asked himself why for fuck’s sake Cas always wore so many layers. Not that he really cared. This was like unwrapping the most precious present he could ever imagine getting.

“Didn’t I once tell you …” he said as he fumbled on Cas’ shirt with clumsy fingers to unbutton it, “To better keep the buttons of your shirt open?”

Cas just smiled and lowered his head, so he could gently kiss down Dean’s neck and leave a hot trace on his skin.

 _When did it get so hot inside here?  
_ “Woah…” Dean breathed. “I wonder why you didn’t invade the bathroom after 5 minutes I entered…”

“I wanted you to have enough time to clean yourself… You were covered in blood, Dean.” Cas answered and looked at Dean with a rather questioning expression. _Ah, that angel._

Dean grinned and couldn’t help but let his eyes wander across the parts of Cas’ bare chest, that he finally managed to uncover. The blue tie was still sloppily wrapped around the angel’s neck.

“And so were you… That coat of yours is literally trash.” Dean reminded him and laid his fingers on Cas’ jawline; a short, gentle touch until he slid down and began to undo the knot of the tie.

“What about you, my glorious saviour… Are you clean enough?”

Cas looked at him, frowning. “I suppose, I am. Do you think I’m dirty, Dean?”

Dean examined him, pretending to seriously think about it. He chuckled to himself. _Oh, good Lord_ , Castiel was _flawless_. Like a diamond brimming over with celestial purity. As Dean pulled on the tie’s end, the piece of silky dressiness finally fell on the floor, joining the jacket. He placed his hands on the angel’s neck and moved them slowly under the pearl white collar, felt that delicate clavicle with his fingertips.

“Dean…”

The hunter’s hands ran downward, passing the tanned chest, retraced the contours of those abs. Then he breathed a feathery kiss on Cas’ lips.

“I think…” Another gentle kiss. His hands were on the belt-buckle now, opening it with a skilled move of his fingers.

“… That you are…” He brushed his lips over Castiel’s half-opened mouth, pulled down the zipper of his pants and finished in a whisper:

“… The dirtiest angel in town.”

Before Cas could maybe destroy his perfect metaphor with another unnecessary question, Dean sealed their lips again. The kiss was deep and intense, full of desire. He let his tongue do what it was clearly made for. Kissing this angel breathless.

Dean found the gap between Cas’ pants and boxers and he slipped his hands beneath the two layers of needless clothing. He pulled him closer by moving his fingers across the angel’s waistline, back to his tight ass. That move, and Cas’ pants lost the fight against gravity and fell off his hips. After quickly getting rid of shoes, socks and pants tangled around ankles, he pushed Dean against the cupboard once more.

They could feel their hard cocks against each other, but still, there was too much fabric between them. Cas kissed him back, like there was no tomorrow, and the craving for touching the other just _everywhere_ , grew with every second the clock ticked further.

Until now, Dean didn’t know that it was even possible to feel such an enormous lust. He had sex countless times in his life, but nothing he could remember was comparable to the sensations that were now rushing through his body. The fact that the angel was inside a male vessel didn’t concern him in the slightest. Dean had slept with men before, although this was a long, long time ago.

Tasting Cas’ tongue inside his mouth, those lips, that left a salivary layer on his own, feeling those claiming touches, no timid overtures – everything made him see golden dots behind his closed eyes. It was like they were drawn to each other, and Dean caught himself thinking that it was an absurdity that there were even molecules of air between them.

It took him all of his self-control, not to just rip those white shorts and the remaining open shirt from Castiel’s body.

“C’mon, Cas, I’d say you need a shower.” He remarked.

 

They never parted their lips, as Dean pushed Cas toward the shower and turned on the faucet. Inwardly, he thanked Sammy for insisting on the rainwater shower as they moved into the bunker back then. It was like kissing in the summer rain. The hot water pattered down on them and after a short time, they were enshrouded by a pleasant steam.

The white fabric of the soaked shirt stuck to Cas’ chest and shoulders and Dean had to admit that this looked hella enticing. Nevertheless, Dean peeled the wet thing down. As the shirt clung to the angel’s wrists, Dean carefully grabbed Cas’ hands and opened the cuff buttons, one by one.

“Here, lemme do this.” Dean said calmly.

Castiel just watched him in silent admiration. The righteous man. He didn’t allow himself to think about the possible consequences of their actions, so he banished everything from his mind that had nothing to do with Dean Winchester. _The man he loved._

Never had he dared to dream that he would end up like this one day. Naked to his vessel’s skin, in a shower, ready to give in to his feelings, surrender his resistance, and give Dean _whatever_ he wanted and needed. His love for Dean was eternal, immeasurable, and he knew now that it was true what he had said to his father back then. It was destiny.

The shirt landed with a smack on the black tiles. The water poured continuously down on them, while Dean looked him straight in the eyes. Those green beauties shone more intense and wild than ever, as the hunter carefully pulled on his boxers.

Cas was not so patient. With one move, he ripped the wet towel from Dean’s hips. He almost expected a stupid saying from Dean, or at least a little smirk, but he only had that glow of ardent longing in his eyes. So, a second later, Cas’ shorts topped the messy bundle at their feet.

Their bodies clashed against each other, stormy waves on a rocky cliff line, irresistible and prepossessing. Finally, the whole purity of their passion united in a deep kiss, but this was more than just a sign of mutual desire. It was a mesmerizing coalescence and an unspoken vow.

 

 _You are mine, and I am yours. Until the last of days._  

 

Castiel placed his palm on Dean’s shoulder, on his mark. Then he caressed the hunter’s back, felt the strong muscles underneath freckled skin. He could even feel every little scar carved in his epidermis. Cas’ hands slid down to Dean’s waistline, his ass, and pushed him to the wall. Dean groaned as Cas pressed his fingers on the inside of his thigh, slowly moving upwards.

It was an alleviation, as Castiel clenched his fingers around Dean’s cock, subtly moving back and forth. Nothing was left of the helpless, puzzled angel. It was as if there never even existed a version of him, that didn’t understand Dean’s dirty sayings and ambiguous commentaries.

Their tongues fought for dominance. As Dean wrapped his fingers around Cas’ hard penis as well, the angel groaned deeply. It was a sound that was surely out of this world. “ _Perfect_ …” Dean mumbled, as he worked his fingers around that wonderful cock.

Suddenly, Cas pulled away and kissed down Dean’s neck and chest. The angel whispered some words that Dean didn’t understand, he guessed it was enochian. “Let me take care of you…” Cas said quietly as his voice moved further downward.

With his eyes closed, Dean clawed for the other's wet, messy hair when he realized what the angel was up to. He groaned in surprise, gasping for breath as Castiel's mouth enclosed the head of his dick.

Never, not even in his hottest dreams he had imagined how those lips might feel _down_ _there_. “ _Oh…_ Geez, Cas…” The words escaped his throat, but it was just a softly whispered prayer, swallowed up by the sound of the shower. “You got such a hold on me, angel…”

And the truth it was. What Cas did here with his tongue, was definitely illegal. He stroked Dean’s thighs, up and down, held him tight and kneaded his ass. That feeling was just amazing and he couldn’t help but began to move his hips slightly. He knew he had to slow down the whole thing, otherwise he was in danger to explode right here, right now. _Ah_ , but it felt so good, _so damn good_.

Castiel was trapped in his desire for Dean, he lusted for seeing what his touches do to him, how this man melted away underneath his fingertips. He would devote himself to Dean Winchester, because this is what he wanted. This intimate moment, were nothing else mattered anymore.

Dean bite his lip. He sensed it in his lower belly, he was too close now. “Wait, Cas…” he growled, and put his fingers on Cas’ chin to show him he was serious. Castiel released his cock and stood up to look right into Dean’s eyes. Blue met green.

“Dean, what...” Cas said hoarsely, lips wet of water or saliva or pre-cum, Dean couldn’t tell. He kissed him again, tasting his own lust in the heat of Cas’ mouth, while trying to catch a clear thought. Against any reason, he was sure he could feel Castiel’s grace inside him, entangled with his own soul, an ethereal interaction of otherworldly enchantment. He never desired anyone so desperately. He wanted to feel Cas, everything of him.

“I need you, Cas… I need you… _closer_.” He answered the question that was written in the angel’s face.

Castiel smiled fondly. He embraced Dean with his strong arms and breathed a kiss on his mouth. His eyelashes brushed slightly on Dean’s cheeks.

“Anything you want, my love.”

***

There was a silent _swoosh_ of wings and a second later, Dean found himself lying on his own bed. He wasn’t even surprised, yet happy to finally lie down, because he was sure that his legs would not have held him any longer. Cas was above him, his face hovered right in front of Dean’s. The centers of their bodies were pressed together, rubbing shamelessly against each other.

Dean clasped Cas’ ass and tried to plunge his tongue into the other’s mouth again, but the angel had other plans. His rosy lips went down to Dean’s nipples, and one after another Cas licked over them, drawing small circles on the sensitive skin. Dean kissed his head and buried his face in Castiel’s soft hair, inhaling his heavenly scent.

Like surfacing from under water, Cas raised his head to look into Dean’s eyes. The hunter’s face was still wet from the shower, and his aroused expression filled Cas with satisfaction.

“I wish you could see yourself… You look gorgeous like this.” Cas decided, overwhelmed by his adoration for Dean. He ran his hand from the hunter’s collarbone, to his chest, down the side to his ass. He pressed his fingers into the flesh and slid to the inside of Dean’s thigh.

Dean groaned deeply, as Cas’ fingertips found his anus and played around it. “ _Oh fuck_ , Cas… you really know what you’re doin’…”

“I spent years thinking about what I could do with you, Dean.”

“Not only you… _ah_!” Dean softly shouted as Cas penetrated him with a finger. “ _Fucking hell_ …”

There it was again, that meaningful smile on Cas’ face. “I know what you like.”

“ _Dammit_ , I love it when you talk like this…” Dean’s dick twitched as he rolled his hips toward Cas. His nails left scratches on the angel’s back, while he whispered in Cas’ ear. “Don’t make me beg, okay?”

“So, you’re sure about this? I don’t want to hurt you.” Cas growled.

Dean almost had to laugh. “Ha. Of all the things I ever had to decide in my life, I never was so damn sure about something. I trust you, okay? And babe…,“ he ran his fingers through Cas’ hair, looking deep in those beautiful blue eyes, smiling. “I’m sure you know how it’s done.”

Cas was relieved. “This is good… This is good. Because I can really not resist you any longer, Dean Winchester.” He clarified and locked their lips again. They sank into a hungry kiss and Dean spread his legs to give Cas more room. The angel worked him open, with one, then two, then three fingers, definitely using his angel powers to keep it all nice and slippery, so Dean didn’t feel uncomfortable.

Dean’s hands wandered up to Cas’ shoulder blades toward the nape of his neck, feeling the wet tips of his hair between his fingers. Castiel interrupted their kiss to let a loud groan escape his throat. Dean watched the angel in all his wonderful excitement. His eyes narrowed, he was slightly shivering, and Dean remembered that this a bit like as they extracted the grace.

“Cas…” Dean placed a palm on his cheek. Cas looked down on him, and there was a pleading look in his eyes. Dean knew what was going on. Cas tried to hold it back. But there was no need to do so, not anymore.

“C’mon, let me see your wings, Cas.” He said softly. “If I’m gonna get fucked by an angel, then with the full program.”

 

Cas felt the grace inside him seething like lava. His vessel urgently needed a valve to overcome this extraordinary emotional situation. Instinctively, his wings wanted to break free. At first, Cas wasn’t sure to give in to this, but he knew, with Dean, he was safe. There was no need to be afraid to be touched by his love even in his exposed state.

His eyes lit up in blue, angelic light, and Dean had to squint his eyes, as an incredible brightness filled the room. Shortly after, Dean heard the rustling of feathers, and the sight as he looked up to Cas now, was doubtlessly breathtaking. Dean was sure, he would never be able to _not_ admire Castiel’s wings, no matter how many times he would see them.

Six giant wings unfolded behind the archangel, the perfectly arranged black feathers looked soft and silky and Dean wanted nothing more than to touch them for once. He didn’t hesitate and moved his hands to the base of Cas’ wings and sank his fingers in the soft down.

The angel groaned deeply again, stroking his face and chest, fingers of the other hand still inside him and Dean suddenly felt a kind of selfish pride flaring up inside him, because _this_ … this was _his angel_. He wanted to memorize every inch of Castiel’s body, every curl, every wrinkle of his vessel and every tip of his wings, even every ray of his halo.

Their eyes met again, and Dean confessed in awe: “You’re the most beautiful being I’ve ever seen.” … _And ever will, this is certain_. He added in silence.

“I can only give this back to you, Dean. You are everything to me.”

They kissed again, and Cas clenched Dean’s hard cock, spreading the drops of pre-cum around the sensitive tip. The continuous pumping of those strong hands made Dean roll his head back in the sheets of the bed, inexorably coming closer to the edge.

“You’re ready for me now.” Cas decided at last, and placed the hot head of his cock at Dean’s entrance. He pushed in slowly, with a constant groan, deeply and lustful. Dean could hardly believe his blissful feeling is really true, as he finally had Castiel _exactly_ where he secretly always wanted him to be. Deep inside him. He welcomed the delicate pain with a satisfied gasp, when Cas began to thrust into him.

Castiel felt the weight of his heavy wings on his back, and with every thrust his heated grace merged more and more with the sensation of his arousal. This feeling was unique, stronger than anything he had ever experienced and he saw, that Dean underneath him felt just the same. He would never let anything come between them again, because… they simply belonged together.

“Come… Come with me, Dean.” Cas breathed heavily, as his thrusts became faster, harder, and he could tell that they both wouldn’t last much longer now.

In this moment, they were so close to their heaven like they could possibly be. Eyes closed in pleasure, they were completely detached from any reality. The dance of colorful lights that took place behind their lids was like a miracle drug, and they wished for this moment to last forever. Nothing was relevant anymore, nothing was important. Nothing, just them, and their devotion for each other. 

 

The orgasm hit Dean first. Like a volcanic eruption he came between them, bursting out over Cas’ hand. He panted for air while groaning aloud and pressing his fingers tighter into Cas’ loins and his gorgeous ass, as if it was possible to draw him even closer.

They were both on fire, grace and soul, a burning light that reached to the last corner of their very essences. Waves of pleasure washed over Dean, strong and recurring.

He opened his eyes, only to see Cas’ beautiful face, ecstatically looking down on him. Dean could clearly sense the angel’s infinite love for him and he wouldn’t be surprised if his heart would burst any second.

The world around them disappeared completely, for they were entirely surrounded by black wings, a million feathers that shimmered in shades of blue and green, separating golden sparkles. It felt like drifting across the universe. Dean thought for an instant, that _this_ must be what they call ' _flying on an angel’s wings’_.

The golden particles flitted around and melted like snowflakes as they came in touch with Dean’s skin. He could only breathe, trying to keep his lungs from collapsing, as he aspirated just one word. A prayer, focused on all his love, his faith and his desire; silent like a whisper, but for the angel, loud like the bells of St. Peter.

 

“ _Castiel…_ ”

 

Hearing his full name out of Dean Winchester’s seductive, half-opened mouth, tongue glimpsing between red-kissed, swollen lips and white teeth, made Cas lose the last little rest of self-control - and he finally let go. He came hard in Dean; the tightness around his cock was so wonderful, _so perfect_ , that he caught himself hoping for this sensation to never fade away.

As he rushed over the edge, it felt like flying, losing gravity even. The grace inside him sang every existing enochian song about euphoria at the same time, filling his ears with a clear ringing of bells, and vibrating in the rhythm of their love. His wings spread by themselves, instinctively, brushing against walls, floor and ceiling.

Dean witnessed this incredible sight while helping Cas riding through his overwhelming climax. The angel’s eyes burned like blue fire, grace swirled around his vessel, rushing in waves over his body and made the archangel blaze in divine light to the tips of his wings.

***

* * *

As their bodies slowly relaxed and heart rates became bearable again, Cas scattered countless little kisses on Dean’s lips, his eyelids and forehead until he finally collapsed on top of the hunter and came to rest next to him.

Cas enfolded them both with his left pairs of wings and Dean could feel the light feathers brushing over his skin.

“Thank you, Dean.” Cas said, as he wrapped his arms around Dean and pulled him closer to his chest. The hunter smiled blissfully and breathed a kiss on the corner of Cas’ mouth.

“You really are a miracle, Cas. I can’t believe we’ve wasted so many years…”

Cas chuckled. “It doesn’t matter. Because now we’re here, together.” He caressed Dean’s back, ran his fingers through his hair and the feathers above them rustled softly.

“You said… you…” Dean began, looking for words. He swallowed and tilted his head to look into Cas’ eyes. “You said, that you love me. Did you… did you really mean that?”

“Dean.” Cas was very serious now. “Of course I meant it. I would never say things like this lightly. You know…” The angel beamed at him. “Sometimes I even believe it must be a sin. Because how much I love you must surely cause a crack in the balance of the universe. But I don’t care anymore.”

The hunter smiled crookedly. “Oh yes, this is definitely a sin…” he gently slid his hands over Cas’ backside. “C’mere. I never wanna wake up from this dream.”

They exchanged a couple of lazy kisses, before they found themselves in a loving embrace. And so they lay there, without saying a word, only listening to the other’s heartbeat and enjoying the caresses. 

***

“Cas?” Dean asked after a while. He was exhausted and felt the fatigue of the afterglow in his entire body. But he needed to say something important, before he’d fall asleep.

“Hm?” Cas hummed, gently stroking Dean’s hair.

 

“I love you, Cas.”

 

Castiel’s heart skipped a beat. Nobody had ever said this to him, and even though he had seen it clearly in Dean’s soul, it was a complete different thing to hear it out of his mouth. He was speechless for a moment and felt a warmth inside him that was so surprisingly new and all over wonderful, he had to gasp for air. 

“I love you too, Dean.” 

Dean smiled peacefully. “I just want you to be happy, Cas.” Dean muttered in a sleepy voice as he ran his fingers dreamily through the angel’s ink black hair. 

“I am, Dean. Because you’re right here, with me.” The angel answered honestly and kissed Dean’s hair. 

“Maybe we could go back to that house by the lake sometime again. It was beautiful there…” Dean mumbled, and then he plunged into the land of dreams, where the sound of ocean waves filled his ears and he felt nothing else than endless security and peace, because he was right there, safe forever in Castiel’s arms.

***

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *peeking out of the closet* _Still someone here?_ ;D
> 
> Oh guys, how are you? :D I’m curious what you think about this chapter and I would love to hear your opinion! So if you have some mintues, feel free to drop me a comment, I'd really appreciate it! :D
> 
>  **Thank you so much** for reading, everyone!! 
> 
> If you wanna contact me on tumblr, I’m [Legendary-Destiel](https://legendary-destiel.tumblr.com/) on tumblr.


End file.
